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Lemonade

High School Musical

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I finally got roped into watching this tonight. What a pile of sugar coated, nauseating, saccharine garbage. I feel violated. How did it get so big? It's terrifying. The songs were so cheesy and feel-good, and so..... disgustingly note-perfect, it made me want to stick my head in the oven. Just horrible. The vocal parts were so pop idol-ly and sung perfectly, I can't quite explain why but that made me hate it even more. It was like music by numbers with no feeling or emotion. Like robots singing. Robots who are designed to sing the same thing perfectly, over and over and over again with no flaws or changes. Ya know?

Plus, that bird who plays Gabriella is well fit and Disney managed to make her completely asexual.

Here's a list of some things I would rather do that watch High School Musical again:

1 - Push rusty nails slowly into my japs-eye.

2 - Stick cocktail stirrers in my eyes and pull my eyes out.

3 - Cut off my face and feed it to a dog.

4 - Have a threesome with Jim Bowen and Jim Davidson.

5 - Listen to Christina Aguilera records.

6 - Set my cock and balls on fire.

7 - Peel all my skin off then jump into a bath of vinegar.

8 - Lick a fat sweaty woman's asscrack after she's been on the treadmill.

9 - Have all my teeth pulled out by an angry midget.

10 - Spend a day with Jade Goody.

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