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SteveCrisis

Love, Honour and Obey

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I was under the impression that this was going to be a right barrel of laughs and an entertaining Laahndan Gangster flick when I settled down to watch it on DVD the other night.

How disappointed I was to discover that it's the epitome of shit.

I sat for the 90 minute duration willing the film to get better, but as the film went on (and on) and no sign of improvement was in sight, my dependency for Mauritian rum became paramount.

There was one redeeming scene, however: Denise Van Outten fellating a cucumber:popcorn:

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i actually didnt mind it, not the greatest film ever but not the worst but then again i always enjoy ray winstone....

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Guest Jake Wifebeater
then again i always enjoy ray winstone....

Who doesn't? Nobody can do psychotic rage like he can..............

If this is the film I'm thinking of, never seen it, but the cast is practically identical to "The Final Cut", one of the funniest films I've ever seen. Worth it for that alone.

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I was under the impression that this was going to be a right barrel of laughs and an entertaining Laahndan Gangster flick when I settled down to watch it on DVD the other night.

How disappointed I was to discover that it's the epitome of shit.

I sat for the 90 minute duration willing the film to get better, but as the film went on (and on) and no sign of improvement was in sight, my dependency for Mauritian rum became paramount.

There was one redeeming scene, however: Denise Van Outten fellating a cucumber:popcorn:

Yes, it was rather gash.

So bad in fact, that I can't even remember DVO gobbling the cucumber.

There was on decent line though, when Rhys Ifans, dressed in a bear suit, says to Jonny Lee Miller - "I hope you don't mind me turning up like this"

Come to think of it, the movie had a hell of a cast - what a fucking waste!

Has anyone seen it's sister movie "The Final Cut" ?

Most of the same cast including pre-divorce, feed-the-kid-eckies Jude & Sadie.

Also utter gash.

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Guest bluesxman

Final Cut is truly awful, but LH&O, while not exactly brilliant, has enough good moments and cast members to make it watchable. I like the bit where Ray Winstone says to the guy on the film set 'You're fat and I'll throw you in the river, f**k off'. Or something to that effect.

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Guest Jake Wifebeater

Final Cut was great, sod you all! I like it, anyway. Best bit was Ray kicking off a famous rant with "You nicked her fucking purse?"

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Final Cut was great, sod you all! I like it, anyway. Best bit was Ray kicking off a famous rant with "You nicked her fucking purse?"

Bollocks...Bollocks!!!!!!!!!!

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There was on decent line though, when Rhys Ifans, dressed in a bear suit, says to Jonny Lee Miller - "I hope you don't mind me turning up like this"

Come to think of it, the movie had a hell of a cast - what a fucking waste!

Agreed on both points.

Has anyone seen it's sister movie "The Final Cut" ?

Most of the same cast including pre-divorce, feed-the-kid-eckies Jude & Sadie.

Also utter gash.

I'll reserve judgement until I've seen it. You fuckin Si!

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Don't mack me off for a two bob. Jog on.

Could you please get that Sarah Harding avatar to fuck!

'cause every time I see it, I'm cruelly reminded of just how much of my life is spent not shagging her (i.e. 100%).

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Could you please get that Sarah Harding avatar to fuck!

'cause every time I see it, I'm cruelly reminded of just how much of my life is spent not shagging her (i.e. 100%).

In a word: No.

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Guest Jake Wifebeater
Don't mack me off for a two bob. Jog on.

Lovely. Time for some jellied eels and a knees-up raand the Joanna.

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Lovely. Time for some jellied eels and a knees-up raand the Joanna.

I know a bloke, who knows a bloke, who knows a bloke who's selling a Joanna.

It'll cost you a monkey

He's also selling a motor from his lock-up for a donkey

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Is this the film where they are talking friendly in a car park, someone mistakenly shoots a round, and in the end they start shooting each other?

Indeed. And it's the worst shoot out ever. The A-Team firefights were more convincing.

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Guest Jake Wifebeater
I know a bloke, who knows a bloke, who knows a bloke who's selling a Joanna.

It'll cost you a monkey

He's also selling a motor from his lock-up for a donkey

A donkey? Stroll on, do wot, knock it on 'e 'ed, stone me guv, as it 'appens.

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Who you calling a cunt, cunt?:p

Is it time for a thread dedicated to THAT Derek and Clive routine?

I'm callin' you a cahnt, you cahnt!

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Guest Jake Wifebeater
Nah mate. It's proper. Bosh.

He lives rahnd from the Elephant and Castle

I'll get on the ol' dog an' bone. If 'e takes a Gregory, sorted!

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It was on the old George Melly last night. Watched about 30 secs. It was just as pish as I remembered it to be.

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