Shaki

Did anyone notice when Puyol hurt his wrist and 'JT' gave it a squeeze? Puyol laughed it off. They're generally good cunts apart from Busquets. I think Barca will be up 3-0 at half time over there.

I'm with Adam and soundian with giving out retrospective harsh punishments for conclusive cheating. This would cover diving and also pretending to be hurt in order to get your opponent sent off like in the case with Pepe Reina recently or the Mulgrew/Lafferty incident of a few years ago.

My other problem is the excuse 'if the defender sticks his leg out and gives the striker the opportunity to go down...' or 'I felt a touch and went down'. That is still simulation which is still cheating! It doesn't justify the actions of the guy who went down. Pat Nevin was on MotD recently saying that when he played his only intention was to stay on his feet. He got laughed at of course but I believe he was being honest.

Now on Star Island by Carl Hiassen. I always like his stuff, he's a good guy.

This was a good one for a light read. I then went onto The Wind Up Bird Chronicle by Murakami. I aborted it after about 100 pages on the basis that I couldn't give a shit what mystery was unfolding, didn't care about the character and just didn't like the writing style (and it was about 800 pages long). Not for me but thanks for the gift anyway Moose. I preferred the SOAD album you bought me the Xmas before...

I then read God Hates us All by fictional author Hank Moody of the series Californication. Don't judge me because I didn't like Murakami but am happy to read a book by someone who doesn't exist - I didn't want to read it but it was also a gift and my girlfriend had quite enjoyed it. It was alright, if instantly forgetable. It certainly wouldn't propel an author to stardom.

Moonlight Mile by Dennis Lehane was next. This is the latest book in the Kenzie and Gennaro series and is a sequel of sorts to Gone, Baby Gone. It had been slated by fans but I thought it was as good, if not better, than the rest. Some of the cutting one-liners were brilliant and his social commentary was at an all time high.

I've now started Glue by Irvine Welsh.

Shaki's Shoogly Pegs 2012

Jocky Wilson

Point me up too when you get round to it...

Barca V Bilbao on Saturday night. Let's see...

That's probably because it's a percentage of approximately only 5 million people for the 12 teams in the league. The Premier League will be a percentage of 51 million people for just 20 teams, or the Bundesliga will be 86 million people for just 18 teams. The ratio of people to teams in England/Germany/Spain/Italy is far greater than in Scotland.

Doesn't make sense.

My rugby boots are the new preds with massive rugby studs on them. They look, and are, absolutely lethal.

There was a bizarre recreation of that in the 6 nations on Saturday. Ireland had a penalty and their player took a couple of steps, checked and reset. Sean Lamont assumed he'd started his run up and ran straight up to the ball and hoofed it up the park.

Guys, WTF? Get a room...

Talking of Hart psyching out the Swansea penalty taker reminded me of Leicester's Paul Gallagher's interesting penalty style. Back to goal until the whistle blows, walks away from the goal then turns round sprints at the ball and blooters it. You can't psyche out the back of his head. I think he's quite successful with it.

Oh here's one:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/17334504

I think it's a strange demand that a ref should give a free kick for nothing because he made a mistake. No? If he thought he was wrong then why not just reverse the decision and award a goal kick?

Anyway, get it right up ye! Semis here we come :-)

Breach of the peace. Argument with the mrs in july last year where a neighbour called the po-po.

I was going to say that makes you sound like a minker but people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...

I buy either the Sunday Herald or the Scotland on Sunday because I like reading about Scottish Football but I'm not an idiot. I throw away the Sports section once I see a rugby player and then read bits of articles about things that aren't football in the hope that I might learn something useful or interesting. Maybe I am an idiot actually.

Like Jan I refuse to give anything to Aberdeen Journals. I hope they die.

In 2004 I got my heart broken by a girl. As if rejecting me wasn't bad enough, 2 weeks after rejecting me because "she wanted to be by herself for a while" she took up with another guy. I spent pretty much an entire month sitting at home listening to that song "Mr Brightside" by the Killers and crying. ("She's touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now" etc.) Fucking wimmin.

This entire thing happened to me at the same time. Same song. Quite uncanny.

I once saw her car outside her new man's house and pissed on the door handle. Perhaps that was a little too far.

Not a scientific study but this is quite an interesting read on life without Rangers:

http://wingsland.podgamer.com/why-scotland-doesnt-need-rangers/

(Warning: it's longer than a post by Gladstone)

Now reading Kazuo Ishiguro's "When we were orphans". Not a lot happening so far but his writing is beautiful and flowing. Books are great.

Well that was a struggle as it turned out. The actual culmination of the story and the revelation of the mystery was decent but on the whole it was frustrating, boring, stupid and...erm, pish. One of those books you just can't pick up!

Now on Star Island by Carl Hiassen. I always like his stuff, he's a good guy.

Perhaps I do. Which one was Deyzer? I thought he was the talented dreamboat?

They were all talented dreamboats but I'm sure Deyzer was Jeff Ament and Benson was Eddie Vedder/Zac De la Rocha

Can't fault them for wanting an eye-ogglingly-attractive vocalist who has absolutely no life of his own, giving him utmost commitment.

Perhaps they could fly Deyzer in. He's got it all. Flowing locks, great set of pipes, and he can even rap. If playing Doberman twice doesn't command a stage, then what will?

You mean Benson.

Pet hate today is the “sage old American” voice often used in advertising these days. He’s been an extremely successful and innovative businessman but he also took some time out to live with the locals in Nepal and India and surf in Australia. He was probably famous for wearing jeans to board meetings and knowing each member of staff in his international organisation by name. He likes to sound like he’s applying philosophy to business but really he’s just saying words that don’t really mean anything…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zeOuHtpIt8&feature=plcp&context=C34faa0cUDOEgsToPDskLR5wqtdZugm_w__ANiCRRA

I'm with ca_gere. It was no Hector Brocklebank.

I wonder if they'll concede...

I really hope stuff like that happens to England at Euro 2012, preferably against Germany.

When someone offers me an unorthodox handshakes or high five style thing and it’s rude not to oblige. I’m 31 and I’m from Aberdeenshire. It makes me feel uncomfortable and stupid. If you’d like to shake my hand when we meet or part then by all means extend it in the proper way. If I know you well or I’m drunk I might even pull your arm in and half embrace you, pat you on the shoulder or whatever. Don’t make to go like you want to arm wrestle me in mid air, don’t do any slidy or clicky finger things and please, please, please don’t make me touch your fist with mine.

It's only a friendly - an opportunity to get the lads together and take a look at fringe players.

Craig Whyte looks like a baddie from a film. Steven Segal would kick his head off after killing all his honchos. He would plead with him before he did it, offering him half of his money, because he's a corporate baddie rather than a hard baddie. Steven wouldn't care. You don't fuck with his niece and not get your head kicked off.

I was watching a bit of womens football late last night and got me to thinking: could I assemble a team from folk I have a leisurely kick about with and defeat the Scotttish women's team? In danger of sounding like a big smelly, male chauvanist, I just can't see how a team of top female side could take on a team of men that can play a bit of football and aren't fat and old. This is based on what I've seen of women's football. Does this make me a terrible cunt?

You could distract them at corner kicks with gossip. It would be easy.

I watched the women's World Cup final last year and the passing and movement was pretty good. They are slower and weaker than men though and they can't take the ball down on their chest because of their breasts. The goalies are laughably bad.

I think your hypothetical would be dependent a lot on fitness.

Remember that time you came up and talked to me outside the Tunnels and I had no idea who you were so I was really short with you, even though we'd met a whole bunch of times? That was awkward. Or the time in Glasgow I introduced you to my girlfriend as Daniel.

EDIT - Or the time a couple of months later when I met you in the Moorings and ended up crying on your shoulder all night about how much I hated my girlfriend? Thanks Shaki. You're a good friend when I remember who you are.

I remember all these things. Some of them broke my heart. I've always considered us soul mates so it is a bit hurtful when you don't recognise me or remember my real name.

I first met him in the Victoria Park toilets in about 98 but we've never really spoken about that.

Our first proper introduction was when Cobra Kai and Escape to Victory were on the same bill. Boy that was awkward.

So's your brother...

I will strike you.