calum

Red card for Ribery. Worst human?

Proper studenty types, it's election time and I've been harrassed by heaps of plebs with facepaint and kilts on asking if I've chosen who I want to be head of Charities/Sports. Ended up telling them all to fuck off and how I don't give a shit. My spare time is spent on revision and work, not fucking societies or sports clubs or getting wasted and sleeping all day.

I was moderately rude to a guy in a bear costume. Felt pretty good about it.

Stalked: milesdyson

Time: this morning

Location: Aberdeen Uni library, within touching distance. Proper. Fucking. Stalk.

Well, it looks like he may well be bringing his mentalism to England next season, so that's something to look forward to. He could form the ultimate three-pronged megacunt frontline with Tevez and Bellamy.

Why was Messi playing so deep and central? Why does Ibrahimovic try to karate kick a cross and try and stud it in, instead of getting head of his 6ft6 frame on it? Ridiculous. Ballotelli is a fucking maniac though. At the final whistle, he slagged off the Inter fans, ripped the shirt from his torso, and pointed to the far end of the stadium (The Milan end. Apparently he's a lifelong Milan supporter, and hates Inter) Lunatic.

Can't stand Balotelli. Apparently he got a bollocking from Materazzi in the tunnel for behaving like such a fucking penis.

Roma banner aimed at Balotelli:

Ropey translation: "We don't insult you because you're coloured, but because you're a piece of shit without honour."

YAS.

Missed this before! It's Always Sunny... is outstanding.

Roving lunatics and their apparent attraction to me. You're becoming tiresome, lunatics.

Also, phone conversations. My phone manner alternates between monosyllabic gype and miserable bastard. Fuck phones. Send me a telegram.

Christy

Aberdeen Uni student car park

Around 5pm today

Team stalked by myself and Vega. Proper stalk as he doesn't know who I am.

Just to restore some balance: fuck Utd.

Great gig.

Highlights: the best Carson Wells performance I've seen, Ross' onstage chat ("yiz are in for a treat!"), and an enlightening conversation with Jan and Jarvis about whether being short is a valid excuse for being a cunt.

Low points: The Ocean Fracture's waistcoats.

Sorry, but just how good is Lionel Messi?

I haven't seen anyone this good since another Argentinian short-arse in 1986. In fact, fuck it.....he's better than him n'all.

Arsenal's defence has been abysmal; Messi has been clinical. He took his first goal brilliantly, but the other two were gifted to him. Even the first one fell to him as a result of Silvestre fannying about.

Incredible player, but Arsenal aren't making him work.

Ruud Gullit just said "spanking".

Penalty against Morgan for a foul on Carroll. Fight, please.

If ever someone's car needs keying, that was the moment.

I hate that guy. He's one of the reasons I can't bring myself to pay to see Aberdeen play football matches.

Oh, and Mark Kerr.

Oh, and Richard Foster.

Oh, and Andrew Considine.

I detest McDonald and Kerr, but Foster and Considine are beautiful humans.

I saw Zander Diamond outside Morrisons today. That doesn't count does it.

I walked past Gary McDonald's "motor" yesterday without damaging it. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

The boy that posted it was deadly serious. I imagine he looks something like this:

He's got a point though - microwaving a person does make them very tired.

I read this on another forum and thought it was just mind-blowing enough to share.

In the early 90's english tv did a doc on horse racing. The people brought a pair of binoculars from america, that was being used in horse racing. A person would look through them and point at the horse they wanted to stop. then they just firsd a sound at the horse, and it in effect scrambled the horses brain.

They showed examples of horses falling all over the place for no reason, while running to the finish for no reason.

You telling me these weapons are not being used to stop players, as our brains are just like any other animals. Do you hear players complain, no i think it mainly happens when you go away from home.

I personally think that manu use plenty of these weapons and used them in 2007 against roma when they beat them 7-1.

i think it was in retaliation for manu thinking they where stopped in rome when they lost 2-1 to roma.

I think the 7-1 game is a good example of english using weapons on teams to stop them.

there is more going on behind the scenes then we all know.

The weapons used are callled psychotronic weapons, and are used by military and police. they are called non lethel weapons.

If you ever have them used on you, its like your brain gets scrambled and you cannot think.

Microwaving a person makes them very tired and its alot harder to breath.

I think alex ferguson knows all about electronic mind control weapons. Of course others are using them.

A lot of God-awful defending and a lot of poor finishing. Those things aren't really part of football though, right?

Exciting stuff though.

Really? I'd barely heard his name mentioned before the last few stages of the Champions League. Granted, I haven't had the inclination to keep tabs on the continental leagues much this year. I've been engrossed on the Championship!

His first touch is always perfect, and he very rarely misplaces a pass - sounds trite, but a lot of players frequently fail at these basics. Really neat and tidy player.

I think people went totally overboard about him because he was so young at the time of the CL final. He does look quite good in Barca's midfield, but every time he gets the ball he's got at least 3 teammates moving for a pass and Xavi standing 10 yards away, demanding the ball. I'd just be interested to see how he looks in a non-superhuman side.

Maybe I'm being harsh though - I do have a thing about overrated defensive midfielders.

Puyol and Busquets are both so fucking good. Both do the simple things that their role requires with absolute perfection.

Barcelona = fucking team.

I think Busquets is totally overrated. I reckon he'd look totally mediocre in a normal team. Pique, on the other hand, is fucking splendid.

Sidenote: I think Paul Ince just referred to Inter as "the Eye-ties". o_O

You're right. That will affect England. It will drive everyone fucking potty. Even though it's an ankle injury, the M word will still get lobbed around. Then they'll mention horse placenta, and how Rooney is the only hope. Then they'll show some 1966 footage. Every 4 years. Love the World Cup!

I already want to hibernate for a few months.

Magnificent avatar, by the way.

"What we have here is the ultimate smackdown between the 'Nard-Dog and crippling despair, loneliness, and depression...I intend to win."

I foresee epic misuse of the word "metatarsal".

Apparently Rooney's injury could affect England.

Mind at Christmas when you Maxi and Calum all ended up very non-upright on Union St?

Vividly. I still blame Maxi.

The Twilight Sad - 9.00pm

Working 'til 9. Fuck etc.

I was in the Allianz Arena when Darren Mackie came oh so close to scoring.

Aye. Difficult chance on the half volley against one of the best 'keepers of the last 15 years, Mackie puts it narrowly wide...

"Fuck off Mackie yi useless fuckin' cunt!"

o_O

Toooooor fr den FC Bayern Munchen! Ivica!

OLIC!

Iiiiiiivicaaaaa!

OLIIIIIC!!!!

Danke!

BITTE!

etc.

Olic is the rich man's Darren Mackie.