calum

aye, i dont faqncy going to keith that weekend

Outrageous.

Kearney: "My divorce was tough on my kid, but he got over it."

Kearney Jr.: "I sleep in a drawer."

Marge: "Homer, promise me you won't stalk Lenny and Carl!"

Homer: "Okay. I'm going outside to... stalk... Lenny and Carl. Heh heh heh... d'oh!"

Every single thing ever said by Lionel Hutz (AKA Miguel Sanchez, AKA Dr. Nguyen Van Phuoc).

Lionel Hutz: "Uh oh. We've drawn Judge Schneider."

Marge: "Is that bad?"

Lionel Hutz: "Well, he's kinda had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog."

Marge: "You did?"

Lionel Hutz: "Well, replace the word 'kinda' with the word 'repeatedly' and the word 'dog' with 'son'."

Lionel Hutz: "And so, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case."

Judge Snyder: "Hmm. Mr Hutz, do you realize you're not wearing any pants? "

Lionel Hutz: "I... Ahh! "

[David Crosby shakes his head in shame]

Lionel Hutz: "I move for a bad court thingy. "

Judge Snyder: "You mean a *mistrial?* "

Lionel Hutz: "Yeah! That's why you're the judge and I'm the law... talkin'... guy."

Oh,props to the artwork on the Guy called guy cd,incredibly smart Elizabeth.

Fit the ginger chap said. Looks suh-wisssh.

Spotted Russell Anderson in the Bon Accord Centre around 2-ish today. Does he have familty ties up here or maybe he was seeing about a prospective move back to the Dons?

Was he on the phone to a guy who looked like an agent? Did he drop a piece of paper that looked like a contract? And most importantly, was he accompanied by Carsten Jancker and Patrick Kluivert?

Lee Mair would be quality if he had qualities.

I will respect his decision though, since Milan and the Serie A are shite and a player of his calibre needs to be competing at the highest level. Not wasting away in a pensioners league only second to the MLS.

To be fair, it's only really Milan who're like that, thanks to Berlusconi's nu-Galacticos wet dream. Players like De Rossi, Cassano, Ibrahimovic (despite being a big game choker) Julio Cesar, Maicon (almost as good as John O'Shea), Chiellini, Diego, Cambiasso, etc. would walk into virtually any EPL side, and that's without even mentioning any players aged 30+. There's more young talent than people realise as well, like Pato, Balotelli, Hamsik, Santon and various others.

It has gone downhill since 2006, but mostly its image just suffers from Sky having no reason to promote it.

And Pirlo, perhaps Pato. None of whom will go imo. If Kaka goes anywhere, it will be Real, but that is a big if. He seems to love Milan, and what with coming out and saying how he wants the captains armband after Ambrosini I reckon he may well spend his career there. Unless they suddenly stop contending for any honours whatsoever. He has already proved he isn't a money grabbing mercenary, so any move by him would be football driven. I'd be surprised if any Milan players go to Chelsea actually, my money is on them signing Ribery, David Villa and perhaps David Silva. All of whom would be cheaper than the Milan players and are of no real lesser quality.

I think Kaka's immediate future depends on whether Berlusconi and Galliani are looking to provide serious investment and rebuild their squad this summmer. Much like when Buffon threatened to leave Juve until the directors persuaded him that they were getting their finger out.

The only Milan player I can realistically see joining Chelsea is Pirlo. He's an Ancelotti favourite and I think Milan would now be willing to sell him, since he's been largely ineffective for about 2 years. Even though Ancelotti and Seedorf love eachother, I can't see Ancelotti seeing any need for an undermotivated troublemaker at Chelsea.

yeah actually that sounds about right, the dons are very bad for picking up players who are big, strong and fast rather than actual football players, used to annoy the hell out of my dad when he ran kids teams.

Aye, I don't know if they're still doing it, but about 5-10 years ago they were going through a phase of going for athleticism. Guys like Pawlett who were head and shoulders above the rest technically still made it through though. There's been a pretty major overhaul of the youth system though, hasn't there? I know they got rid of Chic McLelland, so hopefully they've sorted their priorities out and stopped judging players by their physiqe in their early teens.

he was suppose to be one of the next gen of kids coming through even man utd wanted him, i wonder how he could have gone so backwards, maybe says something about the dons youth system.

More likely that he was an early developer physically, and looked very average once he was no longer bigger, stronger and faster than abdy else.

enthusiastic as fuck

Sellikminded?

Best player in the world apparently, according to the Special One.

I do like Mourinho though. But he's a bit nuts. Even John O'Shea kept Ibrahimovic quiet. John O'Shea. JOHN O'SHEA!

Ibrahimovic is a big match bottler. And a "filthy gypsy" according to certain fans...

Does have pretty outrageous skillz though.

However, the side Inter didn't have as much of a reason to relax like Inter did, so still winning that game 3-0 with a drunk and hungover squad is quite impressive.

Glad to see Ibrahimovic suffering though, he's a total tosser.

Players managed it fine in the 70's and 80's. Give the guys a break.

Inter Milan managed it fine at the weekend. Still won 3-0 with a hungover Zlatan Ibrahimovic upfront who could barely even see the ball. Mourinho gave him his comeuppance as he requested to be substituted, so he made all three subs at once, the first two substitutes didn't not bring up his number, and Mourinho was saving the best til last. A reserve substitute goalkeeper. Incredible.

This isn't the '70s and '80s though. Players are supposed to be getting fitter.

As for Inter, they'd just won the title - their game was meaningless. On Sunday we have a game that could get us into Europe.

Calderplank needs his jotters too for allowing shite like this to go on days before a big game for the club.

Sounds suspiciously like you're not a great lad to have about the place.

You're right though.

I wonder if he'll get dropped and transfer listed like Jamie Langfield did when he acted like a drunken idiot?

Was that nae for being a c*nt to Calderwood? Damaging Tango's ego is a far more serious crime than assault.

Aberdeen | News | Club News | Club News | City centre incident

Just as long as they weren't fighting eachother.

For sure, those crazy dutch are not to be trusted!

Those that aren't "matesh" with Tango certainly aren't. Thankfully that only leaves a very small minority.

On a massive side note, does anyone remember that flying tackle/assault on Denis Irwin in the 90s in a European match? Can't remember what teams were involved, but the "tackle" was like something out of Karate Kid, and Irwin's leg bent halfway between the knee and ankle, it was horrible. Unbelievably his leg didn't break, and unbelievably the guy didn't get red-carded. His manager subbed him whilst Irwin was receiving treatment.

Paul Bosvelt, wasn't it? Think he was playing for Feyenoord at the time.

Everything U2 have recorded in the past 20 years.

I fucking hate those scummy cheating cunts with their red hand of ulster flags and their orange scarves GTF!!!

walking back to the bus some ned infront chanting "northern ireland" wtf has that got to do with the footy!?

Aye, the cunt with the red hand at the front of the stand to our left looked about 16 as well. Just an attention seeking wee ned.

The chants of "Who's the fenian in the black?" when Bougherra got sent off were a nice touch as well, don't you think?

Well, I've slept on it, and I still want that cunt and his mullet out of this country.

The players made a good effort at it, I thought. My only serious criticisms are of Mair for the first goal, Foster (possibly Langfield too) for the second, and Calderwood for bringing Duff on at a time when athleticism was vital.

I still feel dirty for handing over 25 to them.

What does everyone think about this?!

BBC NEWS | Scotland | Tayside and Central | Fan's pie and Bovril price fury

I think I have no sympathy for a Celtic fan from Dundee. Especially one called Andy Walker.

would either team risk losing the game and losing the european place?

When have either Utd or Hearts ever risked losing? I predict 4-6-0 formations all round.

Couldn't get tonight off work. Nae happy.

Just realised this is the night before my last exam. Fucking disgrace!