A.Pel

'Coca Thang'

For fucks sake.

Everyone knows I should be P. Diddy.

"Get the fuck off the grass"

Man.. I'd like to write your most memorable moment on it too.

Pulling a Farmer.

AHAHHA

NO! Susan has never had an affair.

Karl however, has had three. One of them was with Susan's sister.

Seems like neighbours copies their own story lines because, as you may recall, Steph Scully's fiance Mark ran off with Flick.

Did someone not say the 20th? aka tomorrow.

But you can buy them online here: http://www.seetickets.com/sjmmaj/index.asp?link=reel+big+fish&site=rbigfish

I think I had better clean up the mess.

ooohh mi gosh

I have actually wet myself with excitement.

*I'll shave my legs I'll wear a bra... I'll even cut my penis off for you-

awwwwwwww thats so sweet*

YESSSSSSS

FUCK YEAH

I never thought I'd see the day.

FUCK YEAH

Jesus I cannot wait. Hell yeah.

And dudes... 'cheer up' cos tickets are only 15.75 inc booking.

right.. just finished my first ever painting.

Acrylic on unbleached canvas.

Of course, I need to protect or laminate it in some way.

What do I need?

Where do I get it?

And most importantly, how much does it cost? (bear in mind I lift everything from the school's art department).

Right....

banter

oh my god

ooohh mi gawd (oh my god with a little more expression)

fuck

shit

crap

ace

wicked

'I fucking love you'

balls

fucktard

knobjockey

wankshaft

wanker

beasting

mental

To be continued..

I actually had a really good dream last night.

I was a model in london fashion week (snort!!) but to get into the dressing rooms etc there was a secret code and I had to dress up as a shady photographer and stuff.

I never got on the catwalk but ended up going to a dodgy nightclub with all these models (Erin O'Connel and Ashton Kutcher 15 years ago) where they played The Clash all night.

Then at the end I met Mick Jagger who said I could marry whichever daughter I chose.

What the hell.

So it turns out she was a man.

I haven't touched a girl since.

And they refer to 'Chrissy' as 'Chris'.

No' date=' don't! Tell![/quote']

OK.. anyway her cunts mushed up, y'know, there's no 'hole' exactly. So he does her up the bottom instead.

Anyway, he keeps her as like a fuck buddy for a couple of months. Then all of a sudden, she's murdered.

So he goes to the funeral...

Nice.

I have always been haunted by an Irvine Welsh short story where the this guy is away to fuck this girl, except her cunt is...

hmmm maybe I'll keep this one to myself.

er.. there is always something on tv.

PLease tell you've seen the shopping channels?

No' date=' not really. I can't be seen spending 100 nights watching Big Brother. It'll ruin my reputation![/quote']

You know you'll end up doing it eventually.

So thats almost A THIRD OF A YEAR in the big brother house.

Nae luck to whoever auditioned.

Shitting hell no!

Fuck I wished I'd heard that.

I've just finsihed Glue, the shit. I have dreams about Terry Lawson sometimes.

Bought Filth the other day which I have yet to begin. I am at the moment reading Bill Bryson - A Walk In The Woods.

Dude(s).. also heard that this series will be running for the extended time of 100 DAYS.

Compare this to the norm, 64 days.

Dude.. if the same person who wrote the standard grade exam writes the higher one then your fucked.

Too hard.

That, despite the pompousness of it all, is ace.

Who wants Iraq?

Bloody hell, how long did it take you to ANALyse that?

We knew the song was crap.

never mind paul- what's up with lynne! i thought my hair was dyke-like but JESUS! that was a shock and a half. she's u pto something. the sneaky wee rugmuncher.

Yeah, fucking hell. Talk about an 80's comeback.

The best bit od today's episode was definately seeing Summer puke up after 'smoking' a cigarette.

been shit scared of spiders since i was a kid after seing a picture of a brazilian wandering spider

A male scared of spiders? Dude, the things you get here grow to a maximum diameter of a two pence piece. You can squish them with your thumb. Watch it suffer.

Or alternatively, leave it, and it will eat the flies.

My main phobia when I was younger was of big bird (from 'Sesame Street'). Bloody shat it. Went to see 'Sesame Street The Musical' when I was 3 (okay, 7) and left more than one stain on the chair.

Also had nighmares after watching Tim Burton's 'The NIghtmare Before Christmas' (On December 24th too). I've got over that now.

Somone's got a grudge against jude law.

'Badly Edited Intellectual Shite' A.I