lepeep

Chairman of the police board Martin Greig said licensed premises should help pay the cost of buying the devices, which are priced around 25,000.

He said: We all share responsibility in improving safety in the city centre and this includes the private sector. This device is a useful crime-fighting tool so any way of securing funding for it should be looked into.

A total of 753 people were tested on Friday and Saturday nights outside nine venues, which volunteered to take part. No individuals asked to take the test refused.

Police said the device found that a 26-year-old man and a 22-year-old woman were in possession of class A drugs and both have been reported to the procurator fiscal.

***

So this basically proves that 0.2656% of the population are retards.

Now let's multiply the 300 odd licensed premises (googling pedants to provide exact figure) by 25K per pop... and we get WOW 7.5M(ish). This will be necessary otherwise the criminals will just go to the pubs that don't have the machine present that night DOH!

Now let's look at the likely presence of retards in our general population, that means taking the 250K people that live here (pendants?) then break it down into the pub and club going demographic which probably equates to around 100K people worth of foot fall over 1 year and we would apprehend... dun DUN DUN 256 and a 1/2 whole idiots at a cost of 29,228 per dimwit.

Of course this assumes that the idiots would not catch on after the P&J reports the stats every Monday morning. The real cost could be as high as 250K per idiot carrying E to the street value of 10.

Of course if we installed the machines in every off license then that might help... oh but then people would go to the supermarket to buy booze, so we'd have to put them there too. Now if we kitted them out in every petrol station we could catch drug drivers. Fuck it why not just install one at the end of every street???

why are you wasting the energy in your fingers to type all that?

we all agree, it's a load of shite.

testing for drugs...in a pub?

"remember folks, drink, it's not a drug, it's a drink"

I wonder if they'll bother taking the machine out at the end of the night, when all the tanked up cunts are smashing glasses off people's heads and kicking in homeless people...or will they deduce "drink fuelled violence"

How is it that this causes such an uproar and yet, nobody (to my knowledge) has ever batted an eyelid to the Little Britain "suchandsuch were made by a black man" followed by racism-induced vomit!?

I know which one is potentially more offensive, not that I really give a shit about either.

because that's taking the piss out of racism...and is "generic"...

where as phoning an old man and bragging about fucking his grand-daughter, isn't.

but, I don't find the latter shocking either. (just both piss poor "jokes")

"Everyone has an agenda, especially scientists."

that is a disappointing statement...isn't it.

I'd like to think that Scientists follow "the science" - and therefore have no agenda, other than to report their findings. It's the people that get the data that have the agenda.

there are indeed "some" scientists that might be swayed to edit / manipulate their data (or even experiments) because of funding streams etc...but I'd imagine that they'd get found out pretty quick in the scientific community and be ousted pretty quick.

not sure how old hat (if at all) this is...

but I liked it...yes sir.

The Shins Perform On Nick Jr.'s Yo Gabba Gabba! - Music Related Content - Videogum

simply roll your hands in dope, then shake the hands of any bouncer you can, bingo, It was the bouncer wot did it.

ho ho...

what a crock of shite...amazing what they will try to implement.

...After a ghost comes out the queen's pussy.

but she has corgis, they are d...o....g......OH MY GOD....HE MEANT HER NURB....THAT'S DISGUSTING.

Nae point. Everyone knows they "get the gate part"

...I'd like to see some petrol being poured onto the zombies...or going up, one by one and poking them all in the eye with a snooker cue or something...they could easily have been picked off one by one...but I guess they were all thick. (or they didn't have a big enough budget for one on one zombie / sharp stick to the face action).

I also wished I'd bothered to go to the Edinburgh Festival in '92 to go see Bill Hicks...

what a twit.

I might just have to go to this now.

i just fucking pissed myself in fear.

you now have the opportunity to refresh yourself.

warm water, warm air, warm seat, what a great way to start the day.

you dirty arsed cunt.

yeah seen 'bad taste' and 'good taste' (the making) was mighty funny like,....

I love the priest in the film, watch when he's running through the grass / bamboo...he's got a wee spot of shite on his trousers...

as for brain dead...just fucking amazing.

"the Head Shot's the only true stopper".

(I hear myself say this every time I see a zombie get shot in the head)

and who could forget the classic line:

"I kick arse for the Lord!"

I grew immune to the horror films over the years, turning them into the game of "when are the first tits coming out", "who's going to die first", "when's the face going to appear the opened (and soon to close) door"etc...

but, the one film that I saw recently, that I just didn't know what was going to happen, and general made me feel a bit on edge...was Wolf Creek.

The whole menace is just ace in it.

so many other classics that as everyone has said, are too numerous to mention.

the Japs do do a good horror, 'til the Yanks steal them.

Just because it was obvious doesn't mean it wasn't enjoyable.

I enjoyed it because it was very "classic" zombie-wise and there wasn't a happy ending.

I didn't mean "obvious" in the sense that it wasn't a happy ending...or indeed a classic "zombie flick ending"...

it's was the Zombie on Telly, Zombie watching telly that I thought was a bit obvious and cliche...

And I thought my post hinted that I did enjoy bits of it...

I did watch the whole thing, so I must have enjoyed it more than I thought "that was pish"... I would have liked to see some more thoughtful situations....the end was a bit pish when they got the gate part...

hey....how do you put spoilers on here?!

too late

Totally, that was fucking awesome. Nice ending.

I thought it was obvious (given it was a zombie film by charlie brooker), and a smidge dissapointing....like one of those long winded jokes that has a crap punchline...it was a pretty obvious "comment" on the state of tv and its viewers, no?

I did however like the TV boss and the "Classic" zombie death...

Hit and Miss overall in my book.

Which of these news stories was the leading item on the 10 o'clock news last night?

a) The war / humanitarian crisis in D.R. Congo

b) Witnesses saying in court that they saw British police shoot Jean Charles de Menezez without giving any warning

c) The upcoming election in the most powerful country in the world

d) The latest update on the global financial crisis

e) A TV/ radio presenter being suspended for making a prank phone call

it's obvious really isn't it

"give the people what they want".

I myself was disappointed that Channel 4 news descended into the mle too...should have been a footnote, but no...a 5 min discussion with two experts was needed...what a load of toss.

the KONG gig I just heard happened...

I wish I'd known about the band before 4 months ago. I always thought they were the shite industrial band from the netherlands from the 90's.....doh!

Been sent this, and I thought of here!...I hope it helps someone! peep.

The AYM Awards

Each year we make awards of between 200 and 2000, based on evidence of musical talent and financial need.

We make awards to help with:

the purchase or hire of musical instruments and accessories

music lessons

weekend music schools

music courses

orchestra fees

travel

Applicants are required to:

have achieved distinction in their last music exam, or, if they havent taken exams, show evidence of this level of ability

be recommended by their music teacher

have their families show evidence of financial need

Applications require separate letters of recommendation from music teachers.

For further information please see our Guidelines and Applications page.

An adjudication process takes place every spring and awards are made in June. Our application form is available from October from this website and completed applications (including teachers references) must be received by the end of March.

for more info visit : Awards for Young Musicians

Go ahead, I'm one of the few who actually defended them, so I doubt you'll find much to incriminate me.

good to hear...

now, stealing from them and technically bragging about it online...

not quite the same as borrowing something from a pal and forgetting to give it back...

but I fear...I already appear like a picky, spoil-sport twat

yes, I do post every day...so it seems.

I did that with the Spinal Tap soundtrack, and also a bunch of graphic novels. That was 6 years ago, and since then I've never been back to the library, and I've moved house 8 times, so I think they've probably given up on them by now. Incidentally I still have the CD, but I sold the graphic novels on Ebay.

I must go poking around your posts on what your thoughts on the council and their inability to manage money is...

what a lovely admission online.

I once lent my friend 10 cds, most were rare / obscure things (God, Ice, sidewinder etc)...

his flat was broken into that week and all his CDs knicked.

I'd never lend again...

buy a cheap dock. and use the sleep timer in alarms. that way you can also use it as an alarm clock. its what I do anyway. fall asleep to boris and wake up to neurosis, sorted.

that sounds dodgy...

what did Boris do to you to give you Neurosis?

album should be out in April with a bonus DVD!!

better not be the 1st...

fantastic...

I hope the LP comes out soon...and that it's not made up of all the a & b side (wink wink).

I'll be buying that on the strength of the amazing Blood of a Dove 7"

it's for all you peeps that love Fudge Tunnel mangled with Shellac - with a healthy dose of dry humour.

(brew...do I get a royalty?)... he he

i got my current and my last job through having my cv up on job sites. so i recommend this approach.

Stephen hawkins has a sex tape....

I think it's a spoof.

do you mean he's made one, or he's just got a secret compartment in his fancy wheel chair?