Gooch_Taylor

Someone used the old "have you got kids?" one years ago when I was on jury duty. Telling her "no, life's about choices" didn't go down too well...

Anyway, I suggest you give the Social Work Department a call about a case of child neglect, if only to put the shits up the patronising hoorbag. Let me know how you get on.

I'm still liking the fact that my manager got a complaint about an hour or so earlier after a different woman I'd told the same thing had not noticed her kid almost drowning. Manager went and told her to watch her kids more closely, having already been told to by me, and got "it doesn't matter - we're leaving in five minutes" from the mother. Manager just turned round and told her "for those five minutes, you'll have to follow the rules and watch your kids, or I'll have to ask you to leave now" She was still sitting in the foyer, reading the admission policies regarding parental supervision of children in the water when the second woman - who I had the problem with - came in! Then she asked for a complaints form as she left.

You think bad parents are rare? I argue otherwise.

Pet hate: ingrown beard hairs.

Fucknuts who can't look after their own fucking kids.

Nightmarishly fat, ugly and thick woman in today with two kids about 2 and 4 years old. Her stupid male friend had one 4 year old. Every fucking time she's in, I tell her to pay more attention to her kids, explaining that the rule stating that under 8s must be accompanied by an adult AT ALL TIMES - maximum of two to an adult, preferably one to one if they're under 5 - is rule that we have to enforce as a legal requirement. Stupid cow ignores her kids - who can't fucking swim and the 4yr old can only just stand in the shallow end - and talks to the guy AGAIN today. When I asked her to make sure her kids are a) close by, and b) under her supervision at all times, she launched into scathing, sarcastic mode and started asking how I, who she presumed doesn't have kids (I don't, but not the point) could possibly tell her how to look after her kids and turned away to keep her conversation going, distracting the guy from his kid. 3 children basically on their own in water too deep for them during a busy session. Called her back over and explained the rule, along with the fact that I have to train every week to do my job, so I do know what does and does not constitute adequate supervision in an aquatic environment.She said "good - do your job and watch my kids"

As insult to injury, she also waited til we closed to leave the water - after being told on her way in that we were short staffed and needed the female changing rooms cleared promptly so the all-male staff today could get in and clean it - then took half a fucking hour to get changed, making Gary & I have to stay late, til after our shifts ended and we stopped being paid.

I may have to kill this bitch.

My mum asking me what Blue Waffle is.

My mum came home one day when I was about 19 and asked if I could tell her what a few words she'd picked up from some of the younger, newly graduated women at work meant (she works in CHILD development, mostly with disabled kids, so hope whatever conversation was going on wasn't in front of them... but it would be fucking funny). She first asked what dogging was: I asked what she thought it meant - she was right. I couldn't face hearing her define the second or third words tho and she's not the kind to stop asking, so quickly explained before finishing my meal in my room.

Pet hate: explaining to my mother what felching and skat inlvolves and seeing what I hope wasn't a nostalgic look on her face...

My neighbour's cat. I've come to terms - having the only ground floor bedroom - that our cat may, from time to time, meow at my window late at night to get in. What I hate is when I can hear her and the black and white bastard from one of the houses nearby squaring off, particularly when I was watching Jurrassic Park 2 - I don't know why I was watching it either. To make it worse, when I opened my window to call to my cat and tell the other to fuck off - PROBABLY wouldn't understand my human talk - the fucker chases MY cat out of MY garden! Stand up for my aminal I must, so some shrapnel was thrown at the mangy little fud. I hate that cat - it pisses in my garden, but mine gets revenge by luring it towards my dogs when they're out for a walk or round the side of the house. Clever girl 8-)

Yeah... but you would

As a non-car owner that annoys me too but I'd imagine if you owned a car and lived in my street you'd prefer if they were permanently in those locations.

True, but owning a car and residing in a quiet cul-de-sac in Inverurie before I move to a street where there are no signs or markings prohibiting, limiting or charging for parking helps... as does the free parking at work...

Why on earth would anyone want to be a student politician? That's like combing two hated classes into one. You might as well get a part-time job as a traffic warden just to round yourself off nicely.

The greatest reason I've found to hat traffic wardens thus far is that they get paid about 24 grand a year (plus bonuses) to work only at the airport and the occasional football game. CUNTS!

Find them and fuck them and kill them and bury them.

Welcome to my abbatoir of love.

Oh yes. DeSalvo.

Why not bury them, then fuck them? Fritzl seemed to think that was the better way round

Who on earth would want to sit second on that on a muggy highland night.

I'd take that bullet... Just to say I'd sat in that chair. MIGHT wipe it first

MY FUCKING GROTTY FLATMATE LEAVING VOMIT CHUNCKS ON THE TOILET WALL!!!!! I had to clean suspect smears from the toilet seat, rim and lid yesterday morning before I could even pee and decided you know what, fuck it the grotty bastard can clean the wall. I left a note and no-ones done anything, then I find out her mingerness is to blame and "oh i did clean it". Lying really fucks me off too strangely enough...

When I'm ill I fucking clean up afterwards, and wow I despise that girl even more now.

AAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

would this be the one who's been staggering in at six?

Oops, I thought it was Vodafone you'd had all the shite with, not Orange. But in my defence Vodafone fucked up your minutes and that so I got it half right...

Pet Hate: My flatmates have been back a day, after three weeks of bliss, and already they've made a fucking mess. I've been in the flat for three weeks on my own and it's been spotless, they turn up and there's fucking crumbs everywhere and the whole place needs hoovered and cleaned. How the fuck they manage it I don't know. I can't wait to move out...

Fuck knows why - you'll be stuck with me and there's only so many blow jobs you can offer before I stop seeing the point in leaving the room to fart

also... I know it's my own fault for taking on an overtime shift tomorrow morning, but I am definitely not liking the prospect of working a thirteen hour shift tomorrow.

My older brother is an immeasurably cunty cunt cunt. Thankfully, the fucknutted shitshover moved out yesterday :up:

Vodafone.

Holy fucking shit.

I got a free upgrade back in February. My bill in March showed that I was due them 240 for the handset that was meant to be free.

I called up and the first call centre monkey argued with me for about 10 minutes that it was showing that I had to pay for the phone, but eventually he put me through to someone with a small amount of brains, who then said I shouldn't have been charged and that that 240 would be taken off the bill and assured me it wouldn't come out of my bank account.

I spotted at the beginning of last week that Vodafone had in fact taken 260 out of my account to pay a 20 bill. Bastards.

I called up last Monday, and after arguing with the guy for about 10 minutes, he told me the 240 would be back in my bank account on Tuesday.

I checked back in on Thursday - no refund. So, I called back again, and the chump hadn't even raised the credit with the accounting department, but the woman told me I would get a full refund, but it would take 7-10 days. I wasn't best pleased with this seeing as they'd had 240 of my money for over 3 weeks. I know that instant transfers exist, because I can fucking do them, but Vodafone are incapable. So, I check my bank account this morning, and there's a refund from Vodafone, only it's for 216, so I call up AGAIN. Turns out that my April bill, due to be paid on 22 April comes to 24, and they've just kept my money to pay that bill. Who the fuck gave them the right to keep my money? There's no point getting it paid now, because it will take 7 days for the money to appear in my account - and then it will just come straight back out again to pay my bill.

I wrote a letter to them last week complaining about the terrible customer service I've received in the past month or so, I wonder what sort of response, if any, I will get.

I'm pretty sure that Vodafone are involved in a sneaky little game here to gain more interest on their bank account. Now, I'm sure they won't generate much interest on 240 over a 3 week period and even less so on the 24 for an extra week, but I wonder how many customers across the country land in the same situation, where someone "forgets to tick a box" to say the handset is supposed to be free, and they accidentally forget to remove the 240 odd charge, and then take 3 bastarding weeks to refund it. Quite a lot would be my guess - and I said that to the call centre monkey that I've just been arguing with.

Fucking knobs.

Orange once did exactly the same thing to me, except the bell ends sent the bill to my old address, despite me having called them numerous fucking times and gone into the shop twice to change it. Never got the bill, never knew the money was coming out (some paltry sum of 400+) and was left with multiple bank charges from my car payments/insurance/etc coming off in the days following the payment. Took nearly five months to get them to admit they were in the wrong and I asked for a) the money back - which they would only do in credit on my account, and b) to have my contract with them ended as I had shopped around and found I'd get a better deal on Vodafone with a freee PS3. Every now and then I still get debt collector letters from them, which I promptly respond to by saying that it's an ongoing issue of debate with Orange, who refuse to discuss it with me... cunts!

Mind you, Vodafone fucked up and I couldn't sent texts for about three days - I'm on a plan with UNLIMITED TEXTS and they wondered why I was annoyed by this. I was cut off the first three times they transferred me to the person down the fucking corridor, then finally started screaming down the phone at someone, who very nicely gave me a better phone and cut my bill by a third. Happy times

Hehehe - to be fair, I did once get my ass kicked by My Girlfriend Hayley at Mortal Kombat.

mehe!

Okay... I count everything I do - not just steps or little, inocuous things like that - EVERYTHING. I also like it when it creates a pattern - always in multiples of four. For example - left, right, right, left / right, left, left, right / right, left, left, right / left, right, right, left. It hacks me off cause I even count how many steps I take between crossing lines in the pavement/road and one leg'll feel like it's carrying more wieght if it's had more steps between lines than the other, so I'll have to make sure to balance it out by making sure the other leg gets more steps first chance I get.

Pro Tip: Girls go fucking crazy for the video that's from. Show them it, and they're like putty in your hands. Putty that will give you blowjobs.

HEHEHEHEHE!

Pretty sure Tsu Tey didn't die... but I may be wrong...

AMAZING... truly

I hate the ass-wanks who pull out in front of me on roundabouts - like the lorry driver who did it earlier on, stopped when I slammed on my brakes (in my car which was in the process of dying on my way home...) and then proceeded to open his door and begin throwing abuse at me. Leaned out my window to return insults and the twat actually offered to fight me! 50-odd year old gimp - I found him irksome...

No it doesn't. I didnt even vote for them. Your statement is flawed.

I agree - fatal flaw in the logic there...