TelecasterSam

Telecaster up the arse.

a little less violent than that .....but Flights is quite correct !!

I had to go out to the sandwich shop, during my first ever job....... a chamois leather factory employng lots of young women ....

I took orders from everyone, (Sandwiches, Pies, Crisps, KitKats etc etc..) and got one order from my Foreman "Gordon" to go to the butchers and get him a pound of "chicken lips" ....????

God I was green when I was fifteen, It didn't click ..... and I embarassingly asked the butchers for them !

Bastards had a right laugh at my expense ....

(One day, I may even tell you what the women did to me when I left there, as a "leaving present"... when I pluck up the courage !)

Mowing the fucking lawn when the grass is just that bit too long, and frigging wet !!

*BIG Hate*

Number 65 .... Camper Van Beethoven for Pictures of Matchstick Men ??

Its a fucking insult .... fucking thick american twats ....

the rest is really skilful though

I've had to change mine, as Nef C and I appear to have the same one !!!

.... so I used some artistic flair to create :

"003.1/2 Rathen, Lucky Rathen"

How about these two .......

er..... Mr Rathen

I only found out today that Harry Morgan (M.A.S.H Actor) who I have on my list actually died on Dec 11th last year, aged 96 (he had a good innings !) ...... ?

I believe I'm owed some points !!!!!

I bought a new guitar cable from Kablonline, very good quality and very reasonably priced (I was also sent a free Kabl plectrum )..... arrived quickly too (2 days) ..... I heartily recommend !

n.b. only one thing slightly dissapoints me :

The cable I replaced had a button switch to short the cable, which meant you could leave it plugged in, and still be silent, I think that is more versatile than the Kabl shorting system, which has to be unplugged to operate the shorting sleeve on the plug !...

(its not that much of a problem really, I just really liked a button switch)

imho ... the BEST rythym player ever

followed closely by Mal Young

Rory Gallagher

Malcolm Jones

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,

"I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot.

The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

still in shock, she took the bill. "£150?" she cried, "£150! just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20,

but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan ....................."

(groan)

...... I'm Home !!!!!!!!!!!

I remember when Snickers were called Marathon - mind you that was before Fatboy was born!

me too ....... and when "Starbursts" were Opal Fruits !

the one I'd really like to see come back is :

You went to Canada and didn't Ren mention hockey. I know it's summer but Jesus. That's like going to France and not eating a garlic onion baguette while smoking a Gauloise with an artist.

yea, guilty, I did miss that out .....

but I did go watch my nephew and his team play "Ball Hockey" (played by kids with a small ball on an unfrozen ice-rink in the summer) & "Soccer" (which is played very strangely by teams of Canadian kids ... they just hoof it all the time, no-one seems to play possession, they seem not to understand playing advantage, and 4 to 5 subs are exchanged every few minutes ?)

Canada aye!

After a long journey..... (up for 26 hours approx) we're home at last... phew !!

must thank ALL our Canadian buddies for making it such a wonderful time for us !

We enjoyed it so much, and miss you all already !

As a firm memory of our Canada trip.... I can quote.....

Mosquitos, Tim Hortons, Blazing Sun, Mosquitos, Native Cigarettes, Wendy's, Mosquitos, Beer, Canada's Wonderland, Playing the guitars, Mosquitos, the barbeques, the fish fry, Mosquitos, Sun blistered legs, Family reunions ..... and DID I mention those sodding Mosquitos...LOL

I need a rest now to recover...............

I got a temporary tattoo done for Canada Day while I've been here, that said that very phrase .....

"Canada Aye!"

(been drinking LOTS of Coors Light and Tim Hortons coffee !..... and probably smoking too many cheap Native D&K's ciggys as well, my voice has gone all deep & croaky .... a perfect bluesey vocal .... ha Ha !)

Thank mate

I am on holiday, atm in Canada, but back next week, would defo be up for some of this

pm me any time...........

Being in Canada on holiday is ace ..... but..... the fucking mossies just love me it seems...(must be the rich Scottish blood)

.... I've been here only 3 days and I'm bitten tae fuck, and the itchyness is driving me mental !

..... 2 more sleeps to 3 week holiday in Canada ..... excited !!

(had to ask the wife, thought we were flying Wednesday (Today) but I got it wrong !, we're going Friday.. how dumb am I ?)

NOW ..... its 2 sleeps til Canada ... LOL

another ace-ic and I thoroughly recommend them ..... Aunt Betty's ice-creams in Stoney......

My daughter Fiona had "White Chocolate & Mango" ... my son Alasdair had "Banoffee & Cookies and Cream"

(I had "Apple Pie & Tablet") ..... this could equally go into the Om nom nom thread ....

..... 2 more sleeps to 3 week holiday in Canada ..... excited !!