Biz

This is NOT a hoax .

Shane and 3 of the The Dubliners will be playing in Aberdeen on Saturday 7th March 2009 at Fitzpatricks bar in Little John Street.

I spoke to Chiz from the Brogues - he is mates with Shane and said it is true.

Shane this Saturday

Shane and The Dubliners are Playing in Aberdeen - I searched the net and it looks like The Pogues are gigging in America without Shane

Well you could always just go and look at something more to your tastes.

This could be a review of your bands gig in The Moorings

For "dour fuckers" read "people who don't find the stupid, idiotic ramblings of an absolute non-entity funny in the slightest".

I saw your band gigging - I was not impressed, but I wouldn't go around dissing you, cause I'm a nice guy .

People coming on here full of negativity and trying to get into arguments and being negative is why I decided to have a break for a while.

I'm glad you don't like my stuff, hopefully that will mean I don't see you at any of my gigs.

And by the way - I play with bands all over Scotland -so as for being a non entity - I canna really see how you come to that assumption.

Fudge Fanzine is always on the lookout for contributions, and with your sparkling wit and charming way with words I'm sure you would make a valuable contribution .

I was approached by 2 promoters last week asking me to recite idiotic ramblings as both Lecht Polanski and Biz the drummer, so I guess I must be doing something worthwhile to be regularly offered cash to speak shite and hae a laugh .

TOY are hairy.

I swear I saw the bass player grow a beard during the gig.

The singer / guitar guy is even hairier.

The drummer used to be hairy, but even though he shaved it, and two years aff his looks, his locks spurted into growth and they all exploded in a nice big loud hairy BANG at the end... my best gig for ages... the last ane was Stanley, and I'm sure you are all well aware of their super human capacities for growing hair.

I feel compelled to go into the tattoos and piercings, but am feeling nauseous at the thought , so I'll gae it a mis for the noo, thon double Prince Albert is jist aboot enough to pit ma aff ma Butteries and tea min,

I saw Kristoffer Morgan last night... he has nice hair - he could be a model with hair like that... his girlfriend has nice hair too , he plays with nice guy Adam in a band with a stupid name -Adams hair is award winning - all the chicks fancy him and all the guys want to be him.

I am growing my hair like Paul oot o the Needles - I fancy looking like Iggy Pop and might even dye it black and wear stilts to impersonate Paul whilst DJing some night .

Due to unforseen circumstances Biz the drummer is alive and well, and will be, in the eyes of some of these dour fuckers on here, unfortunately be appearing onstage in Aberdeen sometime this year doing more solo shennanigans.

Biz will be available for drum tuition, occasional whacking things, and drunken conversations at gigs in Aberdeen soon.

It's great being dead - you can meet all your favourite pop stars and swank aboot in Jacusis

I am Lecht Polanski - if you want fist fight I will be victorious and die happy through self indulgince at Brians Fudge ceremony

Yo bad guys -you think itis good to talk ill of dead people -you are bad men

i QUITE FANCY SINGING LESSONS I am Polish and not speak great English and can not sing worth a fuck .I am disco dancer. I met your beardy husband at ska gig in Drummonds nae lang ago . I could swap drumming lessons for singing lessons -that sasve yu lods of money - Biz tols me about you doing ska stuff ,I do elbow dance even thinking aboot it min, cheers Lecht Polanski

It turned out that Biz the drummer was really a robot .

He sadly died in a cybernetic fit of rage trying to play along to a mash up of Pendulum, The Ting Tings, Blend and Dumb Instrument on an electric drum kit . It must be said that he had an enjoyable departure to say the least .

Myspace and Aberdeen Music has been a hoot, If Biz were still around I'm sure he couldnae thank ye enough for all the money, great tunes, photos and words of encouragement over the last 3 years or so.

Biz will nae doot be sadly missed, but I'm sure Lecht Polanski will keep the spirit of Biz alive with his Disco dancing routine, cheers Bill.

Ohhh yesss , I can see a Celebrity death match between them and Sharleen Spiteri - I bet Sharleen would deliver a couple of nifty Glesga kisses ,and tell them to fuck off, aye, they could involve Katy Perry tae, and as soon as Sharleen smelt the cherry chap stick on her lips she could deliver a high swinging back kick and kick the goo straight aff her chops . I would pay to have a "ringside" seat or even volunteer to be Sharleens wrestling partner - I hae a mask and am currently looking for a mirrorball catsuit to complete my outfit .

Loads of birds come to my garden - unfortunately nane o the scantily clad variety . I dinna ken the names of most of the birds that visit - there's loads of wee brighly couloured spurdies, pigeons, magpies, blackbirds and thrushes and occasionally birds of prey .I will try to take some photos .

I saw Ride at The Music Hall - I wisnae afa impressed .

On the top bar is a button you click called Forums. It will take you to a bit where there is a Trading post - you can buy, sell, or whore yourself out there . It works a treat, cheers Biz .

I tried to fax myself to Lady Goo Goo.

I am nae very good at a this computer malarkey so I stuck my heid in the scanner and pressed the bile wash button . I expected the flash of blinding light, but was disappointed when I woke up dazed and confused in Lecht Polanskis den of iniquity with a Tattoo of Brad Pits arse - on my arse .

Neither can I

Yo Andy,quality photos, loads of happy memories, cheers Biz .

Katy is a tasty chick wi slightly lesbotic tendencies - her moo tastes funny and aparently she prefers Pete to Heather noo .

It's worth a fiver to laugh at his stupid hat

Who tells the truth? We BOTH do - aye, Christy is worth listening to, he is a great DJ and fairly kens his stuff aboot music . I widnae be surprised if Alan got some DJ lessons and is now as good as somebody that is good -probably nae up to Oakenfolds standards, but we'll wait and see .

I once danced with Christy in front of Peter Bjorn and John in Nottingham, they played that song wi the whistling -Young Folks - and it was ace .