Lemonade

.@LaughterLounge Why do you never see hippos hiding in the trees?Because they're really good at it. #jokewatch

.@Lord_Sugar fuck off you patronising cunt.

.@Lord_Sugar whatever it is, I'd rather watch her sex tape than yours. @ParisHilton

.@MatDebuchy you look like a cunt with that haircut.

.@michaelbay stop making films.

.@MotleyCrue are playing in Monaco while I'm there on my honeymoon! See you in November @NikkiSixx @thevinceneil @mrmickmars @MrTommyLand !

.@NiallOfficial @Louis_Tomlinson @Real_Liam_Payne @Harry_Styles @SuzyKay_ oh it's in Scotland in October by the way. Thanks again.

.@nico_rosberg do you need a few of these? #TeamLH http://t.co/hJsq6beduK

.@stephenfry proof, as if it were needed, that @realDonaldTrump is a total piece of shit. Using tragedy to promote his politics. Cunt.

.@TheLoveofCars awwwww yeah! Been looking forward to this. Last series was fantastic.

.@TheTweetOfGod isn't verified, sorry but I'm calling bullshit.

"3 DVDs for a tenner mate". #TalkLikeAPirateDay

"A sheltered heiress and a reclusive card shark gamble on love".

"ACAB" aye. http://t.co/2cpDVcCDyn

"And the Academy Award for best picture goes to.... Titanic II: Even Sinkier."

"Cause I'm A Man" by Tame Impala was pretty much the soundtrack to my whole weekend.

"Celebrities", who the fuck are these people? http://t.co/rZhQHbbgye

"Cute Little Bush". What. The. Fuck. http://t.co/vc2KeDtFlj

"Dark Side Of The Moon" has been my favourite album since I was 18 and I don't think that will ever change. It's a work of art.

"Disconnected from XBox Live". Oh good this has started again.

"Don't rub my head! You'll get dandruff in my pint"

"Eva, can I stab bats in a cave?"

"His accent changes depending on where he is. Like thon wee dick Lulu".

"I have a brilliant idea right, we take a baby, but we give it the voice of an adult!"

-An advertising agency somewhere, right now.

"I've got a girl named Rama-Lama-Rama-Lama-Ding-Dong".

Oh really, where's she from?