Randy Watson 101

I think you do earnest better than satirical.

'characterized by a firm and humorless belief in the validity of your opinions'

Is that a good or bad thing? The general response from this thread would suggest the latter. It seems pretty negative, but I almost took it as a compliment. Clear this up for me, Captain Pugwash!

good jokes.

Well, he IS a bad man. Does he not realise that the thread title was merely to lure you left-wing students into a general right-wing rant. There's a method in this madness!

horribly unfunny thread...please close

C- - - wouldn't read again

If you yourself tried your hand at right-wing satire, and made a better job of it than I did, I would salute you. Instead you criticise yet can't be bothered doing better job yourself, if indeed you capable of pulling off a better job that is. I did it for a laugh, and I knew at least some would take it seriously. So in a way I got what I wanted: I wound someone up.

My premise was that this place is full of people that are left-wing for the sake of it - and I'd be surprised if I was wrong. And if you think I know nothing about left-wing politics; the history of the trade union movement and working/lower middle class self-education, you better think again. Not all people who lean to the right are populist pricks.

'Capitalism crumbles...'? I'd love a socialist society, but we'd have to disinherit the principle of money and profit as we know it, otherwise we'd end up more bankrupt than we already are. Simplistic, but probably true.

Nice tangent you went off on there. Your post seems to have nothing to do with the thread title.

You remind me of a bad man.

People of my calibre find Glaswegians unacceptable

There you go with the sexual references again! I know it's a first but He Upstairs, after all, I am a God-fearing man, tells me you make these comments regularly.

And I wish you would stop expressing the desire to tinkle with my horse-faced, perfectly proportioned children...

THAT'S TO ALL YOU, YOU TRENDY LEFTIE NUMPTIES

Where can I start? Reading the Daily Express (Daily Mail coverage of our beloved Princess Diana is below-par and quite frankly shocking) the other day, it occured to me that immigrants and students seem to be plotting to rid the world of our upstanding, hard-working silent majority. It seems that the only national pride we have is in the form of our wonderful honourable member William Hague, surely the last of the Young Conservatives.

Our only hope for our children (for goodness sake, will someone PLEASE think of the brainwashed children, exposed to smut and filth at such a young age) is an upper-middle class hero, David Cameron. I forgive him for his middle class roots, though it is the UPPER classes that have the right to rule. No scummy sons or daughters of taxi drivers or joiners. After all, Our Mother Lady Thatcher was the daughter of a alderman, not some tinky grocer. Don't get me started on those godawful people who have the gall to call themselves working class. They are all underclass to me. Surely the nation's pride, the Queen Mother, was of questionable authority when she declared her support for the striking miners in the 1980s?

It is my firm belief that the governments of Tony B-liar and John Major-in-nothing-because-he-was-born-in-the-cesspit-they-call-Brixton reduced the Royal Family to multicultural, prole-loving, Guardian-reading trendies who are quick to correct Prince Philip's righteous ways.

In short, this is a diatribe, an up-yours, to all you tabloid snobs out there. I don't need a broadsheet to prove my intellect. That's what my bank balance and rolling acres of land are for.

Dare you disagree with me?

P.S. Yours Truly,

Viscount Andrew Heathcoat Amory Watson,

Baron of Orrock House,

Balmedie

Did you actually listen to that before posting it? It sounded out of tune. And having a ginger guy jamming behind the drummer is never a cool Rage cover gimmick. In fact, trying to cover Rage is generally a bad idea.

Sorry but it was rubbish.

Everyone: I'm blonde, not ginger!

I didn't tune the bass before I handed it to the cameraman. Perhaps that was why it was out of tune?

Should I have read speeches from prominent (but sadly not with us) left-wing politicians like Aneurin Bevan and Keir Hardie, instead of having fun? Or perhaps George Galloway? He's still alive, isn't he? (Yes).

I'm sure the lad doing jumping jacks is Andrew Watson. Year above me at school. Maybe I'm wrong.

The forum has been quiet lately, well done!

(it really is shit)

Yes Huw, it's me!

It's the fact that the forums are quiet that it's shit, or the cover that's shit? Not sure what you meant!

I used to work in Somerfield at the same time as the the guy doing jumping jacks and he once attempted to clean up a smashed jar of mayonnaise with a dustpan and brush. Nice to see he's being a bit more useful these days.

I have quite a good idea of who you are. Fancy telling?

A little bit confused because to this day I still can't figure out a better way to mop up mayonnaise. Could you enlighten me? Genuinely nonplussed as how else to do it. Should I have cleaned up the excess mayonnaise with a paper towel or something??(

Anyway, your sarky bullshit doesn't fool me. That's presuming of course you are being sarcastic when you say 'Nice to see he's being a bit more useful these days'? Not impressed at all because you've made me out to be retard by saying I was a total idiot when you worked with me at Somerfield.

I usually play bass but I couldn't be arsed playing that particular song, so I handed it to the cameraman to play. So in a way, yes, I am being 'a bit more useful these days'!

The Bugles bar in Inverurie is good. I got my steak done blue over there! It was tasty, though a bit cold in the middle.