Red Neck Man

Not really sure if this is a piss take or not, but looks brilliant:

Well, you obviously don't like football yourself, so stop watching football and complaining about the people who fucking love it, dick.

I like football. It's the apes who take it too seriously that annoy me. Fanny.

People who get upset over football. There's nothing more annoying than watching a game/highlights than when the camera focuses on some cunt sitting in the crowd either crying or holding his/her head in their hands. fuck off, it's just a game!

End of Days

More of an irritant than a pet hate of mine is the Compare the Market/Meerkat advert. IT'S NOT FUNNY!

And then there was of course

Dready jackets!

7 for passport photographs?!?!?!

Yes!!!!!!

We do them at Jessops. It's 7 for a set of 6. Proper quality too.

The worst thing ever was when Hacksaw Jim Duggan got 'crushed' by Yokozuna.

WAIT...no, it was when Papa Shango put a curse on The Ultimate Warrior just after Wrestlemania 8 for interfering with Hogans match against Sid Justice. I remember Mr Perfect commentating the next week saying "Yes, a referee died last week due to the ultimate warrior vomiting on him due to Papa Shangos curse". Scared the shit out of me, so it did.

People who say "t'internet".

It's INTERNET

I know it's been mentioned before, but those clipboard cunts who stand outside Markies are really starting to fuck me off. No means no!

Why does anyone so utterly unworthy as to play gigs to 1 person desperately want pictures of themselves? Sounds like they need to work on some other things.

You've completely missed the point. Go home.

I'd say Ma' Camerons for good pub food. I had the steak pie yesterday and it was excellent. The tattie and leak soup for a a starter was a bit 'council house' but the main course was very 'Rubislaw Den'.

McGinty's, where Frankensteins used to be, is pretty expensive.

Fixed

Bar/Restaurant toilets where you have to put your boot to the door when having a shit because there's no lock.

Haha, is that at the Blue Lamp

I think so

Orkney Cheddar and packets of bacon stored amongst the beer. A sign of true excellence.

The shortness of this post makes em think you were actually dying from a stab wound as you typed it. I would consider giving you reputation points for ever braving the Broad Sword, but you slagged off Hen Hoose and the 524, so you will get nothing.

hahaha okay. Although I did spot that sign on the wall with the 10 excuses for when the wife calls. 5 for joining the Foreign Legion. Funny as fuck.

Just back from the Broad Sword.

People who take too long at bank machines. What are you doing? just take out some money and fuck off!

Which bars in Aberdeen do you consider to be awful and why?

Me and a few friends went on a "bad bar" crawl last night just for shits and giggles and ended up venturing into these stingers:

East Neuk

The Castle Bar

The Carlton

Cutters Wharf

The Frigate

The 524 Cocktail Bar

The Neptune

the bar area of The Blue Lamp

The Market Arms

Hen Hoose

and finally, The Regent.

Out of those (so far), the 524 Bar on George Street is hands down, the absolute worst bar I have even set foot in. What a shit hole.

The East Neuk was pretty horrific as well. Stale yellow and brown is not a good colour scheme

"Yer ma's got baz and yer father likes it"

Overuse of the word "banter".

What starts with an 'N', ends in 'R' and you wouldn't want to call a black man?

Neighbor

The Canon ixus 82 has to be one of the best compact cameras for low light/indoors i have ever used. Other than that, it's easy to use, good battery life, good build quality and it has a viewfinder which is always useful.