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succubitch

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Posts posted by succubitch

  1. The funniest joke you've ever heard...

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    heres a llama theres a llama and another little llama fuzzy llama funny llama llama llama duck llama llama cheesecake llama tablet brick potato llama llama mushroom llama llama llama duck i was once a treehouse i lived in a cake but i never saw the way the orange slayed the rake i was only three years dead but i told a tale and now listen, little child to the safety rail did you ever see a llama kiss a llama on a llama llamas llama tastes of llama llama llama duck half a llama twice a llama not a llama farmer llama llama in a car alarm a llama llama duck is that how its told now? is it all so old? is it made of lemon juice? doorknob ankle cold now my song is getting thin ive run out of luck time for me to retire now and become a duck

  19. Euro Millions

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Make sure everyone I know is comfortable

    Hire a hitman for the people I don't like

    Move to L.A

    Start my own designer clothing company

    Buy an apartment in New York, a cabin BC, a beach house in Sydney and a ranch in New Zealand

    Have my own live-in personal trainer and chef

    Buy lots of SUV'S, motorbikes and monster trucks

    Have a room for my weapons

    Have a room for my shoes

    Generally just live the high life with my boyfriend and friends.

  23. WWE sack 19 superstars

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Hardy Turns Down WWE Offer, Did Lesnar Sign Yesterday?; More

    By Ryan Clark

    07/08/2005 - Brock Lesnar did not sign a WWE contract yesterday but all indications are that he will be back shortly.

    Both JBL and Batista don't appear to be taking part in Monday's SmackDown! house show in Portland as they are advertised for a dark match at RAW. They've been promoting this for weeks in the New York City market.

    Big Vito, Axl Rotten, and Balls Mahoney are all scheduled to be at SmackDown! Tuesday. No word on if they'll appear live on the show.

    It looks as if Matt Hardy has turned down WWE's offer to return. We should have more on this very shortly.

  25. jokes are funny. post here.

    in Humour

    Posted

    Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesnt have much luck until, one day;

    he comes across a Harley with a For Sale sign on it.

    The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old.

    It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and

    asks the seller

    how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

    "Well, its quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike

    is outside and its going to rain,

    rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands

    Joe a jar of Vaseline.

    That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her

    parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.

    But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have

    to tell you something about my family before we go in."

    "When we eat dinner, we dont talk. In fact, the first person who says

    anything during dinner has to do the dishes."

    "No problem," he says. And in they go.

    Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge

    stack of dirty dishes.

    In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs,

    in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

    They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner

    progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

    So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches

    over and fondles her breasts.

    Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes

    off, throws her on the table, and has sex with her, in front of

    her parents.

    His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and

    her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

    He looks at her mom. "Shes got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs

    the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every

    which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious

    and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

    All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

    Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

    Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right,

    thats enough, Ill do the damn dishes"

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