Plato the Greek

You're a sick fuck getting engaged to one of those boilers.

Hmm ... that could be a whole new game.

it's also a lot safer than going to Budz bar and seeing the spasticated fuck pigs in the flesh and running the risk of a smack in the teeth / drunken one night fumble!

thank you Dan Quale for inventing the interweb and making the world a safer place for us all!

Is it time to get out of work and go to the pub yet? I think i'm losing it a bit.

Anyone up for a pint at Budz bar?

The internet is safer, but it is too sanitised. There is a certain terrifying thrill in going to places like Budz Bar and engaging in anthropological experiments like eminent Victorian scientists. I often partake with friends in a little hobby we call 'drinking it in' - a game originated by former Vomitus guitarist Black Metal Neil. This is when you go to a rough mainstream bar, dressed very smartly so as to attract attention, and buy one pint each. Rather than drinking alcohol you are there to 'drink in' the electric atmosphere which can only truly be generated by a pub full of degenerates. You then look around the room for upwards of an hour trying to outdo one another by noticing the most incredibly ugly / minky / socially disabled people in the bar and claiming them as your 'wee mate(s)'. Points are gained for interaction with your 'wee mate(s)' (such as talking to them) and extra credit is rewarded if you can humiliate them without them realising or take a photo of yourself with them etc. The ultimate aim of these experiments is to be invited back to a 'hoose party min' which will almost certainly result in you becoming embroiled in several fantastic adventures. Everyone should try this, it is the most fun ever and judging by the photos there are a large number of wee mates just waiting to be befriended at Budz Bar.

I live for threads like this. There is nothing more entertaining than laughing anonymously at guileless ugly poor people with ill-advised tatoos and poor dental work. I will never, ever get sick of it.

why do most scottish students make a bigger deal about St.Paddys day than St.Andrews day? yes lets go to O'Neills as soon as we wake up and drink till we get green hats' date=' brilliant[/quote']

Yes, yes,yes - this has always pissed me off immensely. There is something so incredibly forced and desperate about the whole thing. This is supposed to be a Saint's day, and has become nothing short of an outlet for 'wacky' (almost definitely non-Irish) people to consolidate the culturally redundant stereotype that Ireland is a land of pissheads and gormless pricks who love the 'craic'. I can't imagine anyone in Aberdeen, for example, could ever give you a valid reason as to why St. Patrick's Day should be celebrated - it is just a pretext to get drunk, which most people do too often anyway. Non-Irish people who get excited about it are completely ignorant dead-eyed morons who probably think that St. Patrick invented Guinness and that St. Andrew invented golf.

I agree with Thurisaz - D.I.Y is best. Recording quality is not important. King Liar and the Brutes hit upon a good way to sell music whereby the quality of the recording is actually completely irrelevant; rather, disrespect for your audience is key. Record your songs directly on to either a) a 'Talkboy' (the device Macauley Culkin uses in Home Alone) or b) a failing tape recorder (preferably stolen from amongst the raffle prizes at a Fudgenight two years ago). Then distribute the songs on the cheapest possible CDRW's (preferably scratched and somehow acquired for free) so that most people's CD players can't read them. Yes, the songs sound like shite, but no-one can listen to them so the facade remains unbroken. Remember to charge so little for the product that people will feel foolish complaining. Finally, remember also to target vulnerable young gig-goers who are clearly rich and who obviously attend Gordon's or Cults Academy. They will buy ANYTHING as they are too young to buy drink, but they have been given fifty quid 'in case they get into trouble' by an over-anxious mother who has just dropped them off in a 4x4. They are far more likely to be bullied into buying a copy of your cd and you need not feel guilty. This seems to be the perfect solution and has worked wonders for us in the past.

Leprechauns, horses running around council estates, toothless simpletons with eyebrows on their cheeks, badly tarmaced drives, men in platform shoes being arrested for bombings and Beamish. Dare's more ti Oireland dan dis.

'Houghmagandy' is a cracking Northern Scots/Aberdonian word. It basically means shagging or 'fornication' from what I can gather.

First came across the word in the book 'Lost Aberdeen' which I can heartily recommend.

I heard about this yesterday on the radio. I only bought my first Ivor Cutler album last year as a result of a conversation I had with a jolly old man when I worked in Silverscreen. The old man told me that Ivor Cutler was a 'feel aul' manny fa wis in i' Beatles fir a whiley'. Not really true I realise, but still an interesting description I thought. When I listened to him for the first time it was a revelation, probably the funniest songs and poetry I had ever heard. He was just such a fascinating character, it's really sad news.

I bought my ticket for this today. I am very excited at the prospect of seeing Psycho A Go Go again, especially as all of the bands on the bill are so incredible, and double especially as Psycho will comprise of what I will always think of as the classic line-up. In preparation, I have been listening to the seminal 'psychoagogo.co.uk'. Sweet.

I hope they play 'No Cure', though I know/fear they will not. Also, it would be great if the bald middle-aged Asian groupie they used to have (Monty?) came along to the gig. Mindblowing.

Bobby, I told you at the Fudge Awards that you could come and live with Hugh and I in our (incredibly spacious) hall cupboard for a cut-price rent of only £25 a month, rather than move to Glasgow. But you turned the offer down!

Oh well. You shall be sorely missed dear boy.

If I'm being perfectly honest, I dig a load of uncool stuff especially dating from when I liked chart music (about 14 years ago). I really liked a whole gamut of rap and cod-reggae bands back in the early nineties which are probably now at the absolute top-end of the most uncool bands in the world. Of course there was white rapper Snow. That shit was fre-esh. Badboy4life, Yo. Chaka Demus & Pliers were also high on my list as were Big Mountain, Ini Kamoze, Stakka Bo, Shabba Ranks(!) and Pato Banton. I would often mix shit up by listening to a 'Fruit of the Loom' hard rock compilation CD which my parents received free from Gateway on Wellington Road.

And what about Moist? Remember they were the most painfully uncool grunge-lite band in the world. I bought their sole hit (on cassette) from 'Soundsright' in Ellon back in the day.

I thought the night was remarkable for the almost professional way that the Fudge boys conducted the ceremony. No over-running, the super-slick smoking podium , prizes that looked like they'd actually been bought, a world-beating powerpoint presentation and they even had a fanzine ready for the night. Are we entering a new era?

I have to say that the bands weren't really my cup of tea, although I did think that My Mind's Weapon were 'interesting'. I reckon Fudge Awards should always have at least one band that doesn't take themselves completely seriously though - Onion Terror would have been great in this respect.

My highlights were:

1) Noticing for the first time ever that 'Q' from Captain Toms is a giant.

2) Manfully embracing Frosty Jack, Alan Cynic and Jim ex of Dr. Drakes.

3) Hearing a bemused Biz being described as 'the hottest pimp on Aberdeen Music' by Paulscoconutass.

4) Bobby.

Are 'The Knack' cool or uncool now?

I also really like Four Non-Blondes, Ace of Base, Chicory Tip, Charles & Eddie, and Mental as Anything.

Did Bob Geldof get the lifetime achievment award at last years Brits? Sorry' date=' but his music is shite - give him the award for Charity, but not for music.[/quote']

I totally disagree. I find that Bob Geldof nowadays is an insufferably self-righteous prick with a huge Messiah complex, second only to Bono in terms of his oh-so-caring charity work (AKA transparently self-publicising celebrity schmoozing).

But...I do think that The Boomtown Rats were a fantastic new-wave pop band. I'd rather remember Bob Geldof for his early music than for obsequiously fawning to his super-annuated pop-star friends and celebrities whilst 'saving the world'.

Oliver Philpott.

I don't want to get on my high horse but I always feel bemused by this, people seem to ask every year. Of course there should be day to celebrate Burns. What a ridiculous thing to find fault with in Scottish society at a time when there is so much else desperately wrong in this country.

To find out why: Read his poetry. Beautiful yet everyday, exciting, funny, bitingly satirical, poignant, fiercely honest and self-deprecating, awesome in its scope and power for someone from the 18th century who was born and remained for most of his life a tenant farmer and who died in his mid-thirties.

It is also completely missing the point to make a comparison with Shakespeare. The fact that there is not really a recognised 'Shakespeare Day' is more due to the fact that Shakespeare, rightly or wrongly, is the pre-eminent artist/poet/writer of imaginary literature in the western world - his influence runs so far into so many aspects of culture worldwide that a single day in his memory would essentially be superfluous. At the same time, English literature has also always been privileged over Scottish literature. Specifically Scottish literature - written in dialect- has far fewer luminaries. Without getting mixed up in meaningless nationalistic jingoism, this is another reason why Burns Night is so important.

But as everyone else has said it is a good excuse to get drunk and have a party, which is the tribute Burns would have wanted.

'What did you put in it?'

'Itching Powder, sneezing powder, Athletes Foot powder and some stuff out of an old firework'

That price is absolutely, completely ridiculous.

Why not go to the Bank of Scotland branch in the middle of Union Street and stare at the employee there who looks exactly like Katie Melua whilst listening to Katie Melua on your MP3 player? Much cheaper.

'Sredni Vashtar' by Saki (AKA H.H Munro) is one of my all time favourites; it concerns a murderous pole-cat / weasel creature who is worshipped as a God by a child.

I've also always loved 'The Tell-Tale Heart' by Edgar Allan Poe and 'Occurence at Owl Creek Bridge' by Ambrose Bierce.

Los Caballeros should play. They are mesmerising. That is all.

What a disappointment. I thought this was a thread about the relative wealth levels of employees of Global Video in Aberdeen. That would have been far more interesting.

In many ways, Barry Chuckle 'died' the day the Chuckle Hounds were pulled from the TV schedules. I don't think he's dead - the world hasn't stopped turning, so it's unlikely at best.

There is an explanation of the differences in appearance describing a number of different factions or species of Cybermen which evolve or change over time - I read about it in the official magazine many moons past. This kind of stuff is always just expanded universe trying to explain discontinuity though - the physical differences are mainly just the results of conflicting design tastes over time on the part of the writers/designers.

I think the new Cyberman design looks fantastic, especially the face/head. I do think the hands are too weedy though. They should have kept the big David Banks style gauntlets. 17 years since Silver Nemesis...Christ... I can't believe how old that makes me feel.

Just a quick question:

Does anyone remember an Aberdeen band from a few years ago called (I think) 'Flagrante'? They performed mainly metal covers (SOAD and RATM etc) but the vocalist dressed like a country squire and sang/spoke the lyrics in a very posh accent. He wore braces too. The only time I saw them was at a gig when they supported The Dangerfields. They were incredible.

Are they still together? What became of them? I need answers.

The guy from 'Run Ronnie Run' was in it wasn't he? I think that the film was based on a character from that show, but I don't think that it's ever been broadcast in Britain.