Dayeth Posted March 3, 2005 Report Share Posted March 3, 2005 Just ask the coastal settlements in the Greek Isles. They will vouch for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayeth Posted March 3, 2005 Report Share Posted March 3, 2005 INFACT I saw this coming, and I have a letter from them already vouching for my satisfactory fecile habits....somewhere... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Me and Parvati Posted March 3, 2005 Report Share Posted March 3, 2005 Cornhill Mental Institution.'Scuse me son, Can ye tell me far te find a nursie?I AM A NURSE, MADAM! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HummerOfIntenseEvil Posted March 3, 2005 Report Share Posted March 3, 2005 Cornhill Mental Institution.Bastard, I was going to use that joke.I try not to shit anywhere but my own house, but ever since I started eating wholegrain baps and brown rice, I've needed shits with far more regularity. The toilet in Cul De Sac wasn't the greatest, especially as the toilet roll/sandpaper was wet. It took about ten minutes just to find enough dry paper to wipe my arse with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bob Posted March 3, 2005 Report Share Posted March 3, 2005 So's your sense of humour.That's subjective. It's just that I don't happen to share the "I'm so random - I poke badgers with spoons!" sense of humour that seems so popular around here.There's more to comedy than wearing a silly hat or dressing in women's clothes. But hey, if you enjoy stuff that appeals to the lowest common denominator, that's great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted March 3, 2005 Report Share Posted March 3, 2005 Stop using these boards to try and get laid....Jake wasn't around...Stop right there.Stop using these boards to steal my catchphrase. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted March 3, 2005 Report Share Posted March 3, 2005 Jesus, as if going into sordid detail about your sex lives wasn't enough, you shower of perverts just HAVE to talk about having a shit. Fucking hell, it gets worse. You have the moral standards of fucking alleycats and it's revolting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mo-Ha Posted March 3, 2005 Report Share Posted March 3, 2005 The top of a volcano on Tenerife. Was fucking ace to get it out after holding it in for a few hours on the bus... phew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demon Of The Fall Posted March 3, 2005 Report Share Posted March 3, 2005 The top of a volcano on Tenerife. Was fucking ace to get it out after holding it in for a few hours on the bus... phew.that is clearly a lieeveryone knows that women dont poo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodast Posted March 4, 2005 Report Share Posted March 4, 2005 In a rockpool on the West Coast somewhere...My sister's is funnier because we used to play this game called Picking Mushrooms where we'd walk around the room and when we had a fart brewed up we would bend over and say 'oh, here's a mushroom' or words to that effect and pretend to pick a mushroom but also squeeze out the rectal gas, and one time she followed through. Hahaha... I just remember my dad yelling, "How could you not have known what it was?" She was about 3 or 4. But still Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AmbientMood Posted March 5, 2005 Report Share Posted March 5, 2005 I was on acid once and a turd tried to strangle me. I'm surprised I didn't smell that something fishy was going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 5, 2005 Report Share Posted March 5, 2005 into a carrier bag in my parents garage.our water system wasn't working... so I couldn't use the toilet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachie Posted March 5, 2005 Report Share Posted March 5, 2005 Stop right there.Stop using these boards to steal my catchphrase.Apologies dear' date=' but you weren't around... and it had to be said.[/color']That's subjective. It's just that I don't happen to share the "I'm so random - I poke badgers with spoons!" sense of humour that seems so popular around here.There's more to comedy than wearing a silly hat or dressing in women's clothes. But hey' date=' if you enjoy stuff that appeals to the lowest common denominator, that's great.[/quote']There's also more to life than being a complete cock to everyone you come across. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted March 5, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2005 Apologies dear' date=' but you weren't around... and it had to be said.[/color']There's also more to life than being a complete cock to everyone you come across.Best post I have seen for a long time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bob Posted March 6, 2005 Report Share Posted March 6, 2005 There's also more to life than being a complete cock to everyone you come across.Yeah, I know. There's being serious too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessHolly Posted March 6, 2005 Report Share Posted March 6, 2005 erm well last night I took a shit in the 'trollland' bit of storybook glen.So there.I shot my first year film in Storybook Glen, I seem to remember thinking troll land smelt like shit, you're probably not the first.I once found a poo in the Simulator in Miami Beach. But I still went on it.I can safely say I've never pooed outside but I'm going to regale (sp?) you all with a tale of my very first year at Reading Festival.I was a mere sixteen years old. I'd just had a nose job and my parents were furious at me for going but they paid for my ticked and flight anyways. It was the first time I'd been back in the area I grew up in since moving to Aberdeen the previous October. I was very much looking forward to seeing all my old school friends.Some of those friends were camping in the camper van area with some people they knew. I went to visit them, we had some cheap booze and laughed lots. A crazy old man came running over to tell us he'd found a baby hedgehog that was trapped and urgently needed help.I was distraught. And drunk. I immediately got to to my feet and told me to show me where this hedgehog was. I also told him I was studying to be a vet so I would appear more useful when rescuing the poor thing. The hedgehog was stuck under a van so I followed the man until he stopped and pointed at it. It was dark and I couldn't see very well. I was very eager to help save the life of this poor thing. I looked closer and closer and closer still until the drunk old man turned on his torch and I realised I had my face about six inches away from a giant shit he'd just done.On reflection, I feel this man is an utter genius. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted March 6, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2005 I got a negative scene point for using the word "jobby" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachie Posted March 6, 2005 Report Share Posted March 6, 2005 I shot my first year film in Storybook Glen' date=' I seem to remember thinking troll land smelt like shit, you're probably not the first.I once found a poo in the Simulator in Miami Beach. But I still went on it.I can safely say I've never pooed outside but I'm going to regale (sp?) you all with a tale of my very first year at Reading Festival.I was a mere sixteen years old. I'd just had a nose job and my parents were furious at me for going but they paid for my ticked and flight anyways. It was the first time I'd been back in the area I grew up in since moving to Aberdeen the previous October. I was very much looking forward to seeing all my old school friends.Some of those friends were camping in the camper van area with some people they knew. I went to visit them, we had some cheap booze and laughed lots. A crazy old man came running over to tell us he'd found a baby hedgehog that was trapped and urgently needed help.I was distraught. And drunk. I immediately got to to my feet and told me to show me where this hedgehog was. I also told him I was studying to be a vet so I would appear more useful when rescuing the poor thing. The hedgehog was stuck under a van so I followed the man until he stopped and pointed at it. It was dark and I couldn't see very well. I was very eager to help save the life of this poor thing. I looked closer and closer and closer still until the drunk old man turned on his torch and I realised I had my face about six inches away from a giant shit he'd just done.On reflection, I feel this man is an utter genius.[/quote']Duuuuude!Best post ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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