CornTYP Posted November 29, 2003 Report Share Posted November 29, 2003 Tonights MatchupComedy Sidekick SpecialGeorge Doors VS Itchy and ScratchyHMG Forum MatchSludge VS TavSkinhead Tag Team MatchStonecold + Kerry King VS Nick Oliveri + Phil AnselmoBass Triple ThreatCliff Burton VS Jason Newstead VS Rob TrujilloMAIN EVENT - Big ShreddSandmangu VS Dan"The Terminator"Loaded/Atom/MMWLet the pain begin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sludge Posted November 30, 2003 Report Share Posted November 30, 2003 ohh please.i would break the bastards legs and make him tap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rass Posted December 3, 2003 Report Share Posted December 3, 2003 You join us here at ringside for the first HMGWF matchups....Comedy Sidekick SpecialGeorge Doors def Itchy and Scratchy by DQItchy & Scratchy DQ for not being comedy sidekicks, George Doors to face Sideshow Bob next week.HMG Forum MatchSludge def Tavsludge said it! a no-show in the thread from tav left him with 2 broken legs and a whole lotta shame!Skinhead Tag Team MatchStonecold & Kerry King def Nick Oliveri & Phil Anselmoeven nicks overwhelming ability to get his kit off couldnt save this matchup. After being bored to death by Kerry's Solos (just noticed KK has a girls name...) Phil found himself both on the recieveing end of a Stunner, while his tag team partner was comparing g-strings with KKBass Triple ThreatRob Trujillo def Cliff Burton VS Jason NewsteadWell this matchup didnt get off to a great start as Cliff was found to of died over 15 years ago. After 2 hours of top gurning action but not a blow landed, the ring lights went out and the intro music of none other than the Metallicops hit... no sooner had St Anger hit, Corp. Ulrich and Lieut. Hetfield sprinted down the runway brandishing 2x4's and took out Newstead with a blow to his almighty chin and a spear (quite litterally) to the mat. Trujillo crawled over looking remarkably like a big ugly reatrded crab and took the pin.MAIN EVENT - Big ShreddSandmangu VS Dan"The Terminator"Loaded/Atom/MMWWell this was the main event, the biggest match of the... well... day. Comissioner Corn has stipulated that this match will be staged over a Three Stages of Hell competition. The Three Match Types being; Hell in a Cell, Bra and Panties and Shred-off....Hell in a Cell.... Dan came down the runway to find sandy raging around inside the cage like a wild animal, within seconds inside the cage, the 2 were rolling around like puppies in love... or gorillas fighting as the case may be. After having his face smeared across the inside of the cage dan was left a lifeless mess, beating his cheast like a wild beast sandy throws dan over his shoulder, bursts through the steel door and climbs up the cage. at the top in the center of the cage sandy lifts the lifeless axeweilder above his head and lets out a beastly scream before unleashing the hell of his Geordieator on dan putting him through the top of the cage... Sandy 1 Dan 0Bra and Panties..... now no-one was quite sure what sick thoughts were going through the comish's head when this was drafted, but what he says goes, so we shalnt complain, except for what we might of been about to witness.... *shudder* The match got off to a rather tame start, sandy in the green crop top bearing the mark 'bitch' and pink hot pants countering everything dan (in the orange sleeveless girly top and matching miniskirt) had to throw at him. Then in an impressive counter saw dans stunning top come clean off to leave a cotton padded bra (mmm tastey!), sandys work was half done.... but in a nasty turn of fate sandys top got stuck on one of the turnbuckles and ripped off to show... man boobs! the bell rings and sandy is disqualified for not competeing to the Bra & Panies regulations... Sandy 1 Dan 1The Shred-Off....The final layer of hell was upon us, rules couldnt be simpler, in the ring was a Marshall JCM 2000 with an Explorer and a BC Rich JrV plugged into a Mesa Boogie Dual Rec. the pair had to compete in a crossroads style well.... wank off! The 2 competitors took the ring (dan with a heavily bandaged hand), picked up their axes and the fret masturbation began. It started off, the two trading fairly straight forward pentatonic licks, getting into slightly more complicated open string legato, up to full on shred sweep arpegiated madness. As the event went on and on, hour after hour, slowly the crowd got tired and started to slowly drift out for thier beds. Still the two went at it like mad bastards, blood running down the raw fingers of each, neither stopped, there was nothing but sheer determination on each face. eventuallythe arena was clear, still the two went on, surrounded by woodchip on the floor from the hammered fretboards. Referees, cameramen, announcers, commentators all slept as the dual of the titans battled on.....even this reporter took a nap. In the morning the staff awoke to find nothing but two giant holes where the amps were, in each a small lump of green jelly like substance...... No Contest... finished Dan 1 Sandy 1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sludge Posted December 5, 2003 Report Share Posted December 5, 2003 damn fucking right.what a loser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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