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Dan G

Lyrics that don't make sense

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So this morning I'm listening to Missy Elliot (I wasn't), and it got me thinking about that one song of hers that is good (it isn't) in which the lyrics go:

'Is it worth it? Let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it
Ti esrever dna ti pilf, nwod gniht ym tup
Ti esrever dna ti pilf, nwod gniht ym tup'

But surely if she flips it AND reverses it it ends up normal, so should either go:

'Is it worth it? Let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it
Put my thing down, flip it and reverse it
Put my thing down, flip it and reverse it'

OR

'Is it worth it? Let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and ensure that it definitely remains flipped
Ti esrever dna ti pilf, nwod gniht ym tup
Ti esrever dna ti pilf, nwod gniht ym tup'


So - what other lyrics can you think of that are rubbish and/or don't make sense?

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Another one that springs to mind is Pink Floyd's Another Brick in the wall in which the kids sing 'We don't need no education'.

Unaware that the double negative means that they are confirming (in more ways than one) that they do in fact need education. 

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57 minutes ago, Lemonade said:

"Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak,

Somewhere in this town

I'd say at the jail most likely. 

Unless "somewhere" is the name of a suburb in that town, the 3rd verse does say he's gonna bust out, which does indicate that he does know where the jail is, cos he's in it.

Although that then contradicts the whole "don't you be around" bit, and the "boys getting up and going down".

it's possible Phil Lynott was pissed when he wrote this, or really confused, or IDENTICAL TWINS - which would sort the whole thing out.

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3 hours ago, Lemonade said:

"Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak,

Somewhere in this town

I'd say at the jail most likely. 

Ah - I can help you out here, I think. I'm pretty sure Jailbreak is a quasi-concept album where the town in question is a dystopian future society where there are either lots of jails, or the whole town is a jail.

So it sort of makes sense with that in mind.

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2 hours ago, colb said:

Unless "somewhere" is the name of a suburb in that town, the 3rd verse does say he's gonna bust out, which does indicate that he does know where the jail is, cos he's in it.

Although that then contradicts the whole "don't you be around" bit, and the "boys getting up and going down".

it's possible Phil Lynott was pissed when he wrote this, or really confused, or IDENTICAL TWINS - which would sort the whole thing out.

Phil Lynott, as much as I love Thin Lizzy, was a fucking terrible lyricist...

Living and dying
In chinatown
Yes they're living and dying down in old chinatown
In chinatown
You better look around
Man, you don't stand a chance if you go down in chinatown
Man, you don't stand a chance if you go down in chinatown

Laughing and crying you know it's a fact
They're not laughing they are crying
'Cause they won't be back
Oh no you don't come back
Not from chinatown
Man, you don't stand a chance if you go down in chinatown
Man, you don't stand a chance if you go down in chinatown

Chinatown, it's a different scene
There are people there, they are so obscene
If you see what I mean
Then they've sold you the dream
Down in chinatown
What goes up it must come down

Living and dying
There is no release
Living and dying
There is no relief
There is no beliefs
Not in chinatown
Man, you don't stand a chance if you go down in chinatown
Man, you don't stand a chance if you go down in chinatown

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1 hour ago, Dan G said:

Ah - I can help you out here, I think. I'm pretty sure Jailbreak is a quasi-concept album where the town in question is a dystopian future society where there are either lots of jails, or the whole town is a jail.

So it sort of makes sense with that in mind.

I didn't know this. Fair enough. It's not really my observation anyway, I nicked it off a comedian. 

37 minutes ago, Teabags said:

Phil Lynott, as much as I love Thin Lizzy, was a fucking terrible lyricist...

Living and dying
In chinatown
Yes they're living and dying down in old chinatown
In chinatown
You better look around
Man, you don't stand a chance if you go down in chinatown
Man, you don't stand a chance if you go down in chinatown

Laughing and crying you know it's a fact
They're not laughing they are crying
'Cause they won't be back
Oh no you don't come back
Not from chinatown
Man, you don't stand a chance if you go down in chinatown
Man, you don't stand a chance if you go down in chinatown

Chinatown, it's a different scene
There are people there, they are so obscene
If you see what I mean
Then they've sold you the dream
Down in chinatown
What goes up it must come down

Living and dying
There is no release
Living and dying
There is no relief
There is no beliefs
Not in chinatown
Man, you don't stand a chance if you go down in chinatown
Man, you don't stand a chance if you go down in chinatown

My father in law went to school with Phil Lynott, allegedly a smelly wee bastard. 

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He looks like he smells. Not as much as Post Malone looks like he smells, mind.

On the subject of bad lyrics, my favourite is 'Horse With No Name' by America. It's even better than Des'ree's 'Life', which features the woefully inept 'I don't want to see a ghost, It's the sight that I fear most, I'd rather have a piece of toast'. Every line of HWNN deserves its own analysis:
 

HORSE WITH NO NAME
 
On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound
I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
 
After two days in the desert sun
My skin began to turn red
After three days in the desert fun
I was looking at a river bed
And the story it told of a river that flowed
Made me sad to think it was dead
You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
 
After nine days I let the horse run free
'Cause the desert had turned to sea
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
there was sand and hills and rings
The ocean is a desert with it's life underground
And a perfect disguise above
Under the cities lies a heart made of ground
But the humans will give no love
You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
 

 

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'Only time will tell if we stand the test of time' thanks Sammy Hagar, you twat.

do do n dodo do doo do do doodo

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Kanye West has some absolute stinkers.

"I wanna fuck you hard on the sink
After that, give you something to drink
Step back, can't get spunk on the mink
I mean damn, what would Jeromey Romey Romey Rome think?"

"I am a God
So hurry up with my damn massage
In a French-ass restaurant
Hurry up with my damn croissants"

"I keep it 300, like the Romans
300 bitches, where's the Trojans?"

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I'm not a big fan of Kanye but I do like the lyric :

"You see there's leaders and there's followers, 

But I'd rather be a dick than a swallower." 

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English Country Garden by the Darkness had a line that I always found amusing: 


'It was a cigarette break and I was desperate
When I saw her pushing that wheelbarrow
She said have you got a match? and I said yes!
My cock and Farmer Giles prizewinning marrow'

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57 minutes ago, Dan G said:

English Country Garden by the Darkness had a line that I always found amusing: 


'It was a cigarette break and I was desperate
When I saw her pushing that wheelbarrow
She said have you got a match? and I said yes!
My cock and Farmer Giles prizewinning marrow'

I thought this was another hilarious made up Dan G story...so I listened to the song. Jesus fuck.

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I have a certain fondness for the Darkness. I mean I never listened to anything post Permission To Land but I did quite enjoy them. 

"I want a one-way ticket to Hell and back, 

A one-way ticket to Hell and back" 

I presume that one wasn't supposed to make sense, right? 

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On 7/5/2018 at 9:51 AM, Teabags said:

Kanye West has some absolute stinkers.

"I wanna fuck you hard on the sink
After that, give you something to drink
Step back, can't get spunk on the mink
I mean damn, what would Jeromey Romey Romey Rome think?"

"I am a God
So hurry up with my damn massage
In a French-ass restaurant
Hurry up with my damn croissants"

"I keep it 300, like the Romans
300 bitches, where's the Trojans?"

not forgetting:

"Tell the promoter we need more seats

We just sold out all the floor seats"

 

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1 hour ago, Teabags said:

I thought this was another hilarious made up Dan G story...so I listened to the song. Jesus fuck.

I wish I could come up with lyrics that hilarious. 

I know the Darkness are a bit divisive to say the least, but they had some pretty funny stuff. Obvious one being 'growing on me', which is obviously about genital warts but portrayed as a love song. Fantastic.

 

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50 minutes ago, Lemonade said:

I have a certain fondness for the Darkness. I mean I never listened to anything post Permission To Land but I did quite enjoy them. 

"I want a one-way ticket to Hell and back, 

A one-way ticket to Hell and back" 

I presume that one wasn't supposed to make sense, right? 

"I never listened to anything post Permission To Land"

* quotes song released after Permission to Land * :laughing:

But yeah, that lyric - like most of them - was definitely a pisstake.

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The whole band was a massive piss take, then the main walloper got sand in his fud because people didn't take them seriously.

So happy Gary Jules got the Christmas number 1.

Edited by James Broonbreed

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People don't realise that a lot of Kanye's stuff is tongue-in-cheek. And the spunk on the mink, it's meant to be like a dirty love song. He's rapping about his wife, but in a over-the-top dirty way.

His lyricism on Ye has been fantastic. Hilarious standouts for me:

"I love your titties 'cause they prove I can focus on two things at once"
and

"Hit that pussy raw like fuck the outcome. None of us would be here without cum."
 

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51 minutes ago, Jaaakkkeee said:

"Hit that pussy raw like fuck the outcome. None of us would be here without cum."
 

Slight loss of points for rhyming 'outcome' with 'out come'

On that note we need to flag 'Generals gather in their masses, just like black masses' from Sabbath's War Pigs. I wrote a letter to Ozzy asking him to change it to either:

Generals gather in their masses, just like witches at spell classes.

or

Generals gather in their masses, just like poo on hairy asses. 

or

Generals gather in their masses, just like family at Chrismasses.

The last one technically rhymes masses with masses too, but at least it's not exactly the same word. Ozzy never got back to me.

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2 hours ago, Dan G said:

"I never listened to anything post Permission To Land"

* quotes song released after Permission to Land * :laughing:

But yeah, that lyric - like most of them - was definitely a pisstake.

Ha ha, you got me there.. For some reason I thought that one was on Permission To Land but now I think about it it was the lead single from their next album wasn't it. It was all over Radio 1.

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