Teabags Posted September 30, 2016 Report Share Posted September 30, 2016 Yep. Was a cracking gig. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted September 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2016 I haven't spent that much time in Leeds tbf. Mostly just kicking about during the festival or wasting time at the train station. I do know three people who have chosen to move there though so I guess it can't be that bad. It's better than Bradford I'll give it that. I haven't spent a lot of time around Yorkshire, I liked York though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted September 30, 2016 Report Share Posted September 30, 2016 Top 5 biggest shit-holes you've visited? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted September 30, 2016 Report Share Posted September 30, 2016 1. Paris 2. Benidorm 3. Amiens 4. London 5. Bangkok Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted September 30, 2016 Report Share Posted September 30, 2016 Blackpool, Barnsley, Wolverhampton, Birmingham, Cleethorpes. God, Blackpool is fucking awful. The absolute worst place in the UK. I've not been to every place in the UK, but I'm certain it's true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colb Posted September 30, 2016 Report Share Posted September 30, 2016 1. Great Yarmouth - there is absolutely nothing there. 2. Middlesbrough - made me pine for Great Yarmouth. 3. Baltimore - it's fucking terrifying. The harbour aside The Wire wasn't exaggerating. Only place I've ever been where a cop made me get in a cab because the next few blocks were too dangerous. In the afternoon. On a weekday. 4. Port Moresby 5. Sandhaven 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted September 30, 2016 Report Share Posted September 30, 2016 1 hour ago, Teabags said: 1. Paris You're mental. I can understand it's not the 'cleanest' city but pretty much everything else about the place is amazing - to be top of your shit-hole list it must have done something very nasty to you. 1. Coimbatore (India) - went once for work. It was as far as possible from the exotic tourist-friendly kind of places you see people going to in India. Like a giant 3rd world industrial estate. Not even cool wildlife or vibrant markets to see. Just kids shitting in the street in between bettery-hen-like call center type places. It also involved a 9 hour drive to get there, during which I had to hold in atomic diarrhea almost the entire time. I'm getting flashbacks just writing about it. First and only time I've ever seen a guy piss 'overhand'. Like, you know when you take a piss, you grab the underside of the shaft with your fingers (well, 2 whole hands for me... wahey LADS), palm facing upwards/in it's natural 'holding' position. This fella a) stood about 3 feet away from the urinal, b) grabbed his nob with his palm facing down (like a scally/ned would 'cup' a cigarette - is the best i can describe it) and c) sprayed upwards so his piss arced into the urinal. Phenomenal bathroom etiquette. 2. Huddersfield - spent a new years eve there a good few years ago. Felt like a never-ending Wetherspoons. Almost got punched. Saw/heard so much racism it made me very sad. 3. Boston - I've been a couple of times now. It's just so fucking boring. Everything shuts so early and everyone looks the same. 4. Dijon - slap bang in the middle of france with no redeaming features. most places in France have something going, either the mountains or the sea or a lake. Dijon has fuck all. My least favourite mustard too. 5. London - I know London has everything you could ever want from a city and it is undeniably a great place to visit, but there's just something about the place I don't like. It's so spread out for starters. I couldn't imagine living there and commuting for half my life. It also looks just like everywhere else in Britain, only on a much bigger scale. The attraction of moving to a big city for me is in it being the opposite of where I grew up, which was in the middle of nowhere. London, though is just like one giant bog-standard british town. I also don't like how london-centric people are there. It's as if nowhere else exists. It's also annoyingly expensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Broonbreed Posted September 30, 2016 Report Share Posted September 30, 2016 4 hours ago, Mr Owl PhD said: Viljandi's pretty good. Like many small towns in Estonia about half of it seems to be taken up with a massive castle. I could probably put pretty much anywhere in Estonia but Tartu's the place I've spent most time in and is just generally excellent in every way. Looks pretty fancy. I might need to check it out next time we visit. Could be difficult though, what with her mother in Tallinn and her flat in Viljandi... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Broonbreed Posted September 30, 2016 Report Share Posted September 30, 2016 Stoke Stoke Stoke Stoke Stoke I've never been to Middlesbrough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colb Posted September 30, 2016 Report Share Posted September 30, 2016 21 minutes ago, James Broonbreed said: Stoke Stoke Stoke Stoke Stoke I've never been to Middlesbrough. Middlesbrough would make you weep with desperation to get back to Stoke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Broonbreed Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 11 hours ago, colb said: Middlesbrough would make you weep with desperation to get back to Stoke. I've met plenty of Smoggies, I have zero desire to confirm what I already know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted October 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 Just you wait until @Woodsinhogets here. Top 5 shit holes I've visited. 1 - Peterhead 2 - Glasgow 3 - Holyhead 4 - Wolverhampton 5 - Bradford Dudley got a last minute reprieve when I remembered about the day I spent in Holyhead. Fucking hell that place is desolate. Sat in a cafe for three hours because there was literally nothing else to do. Just rows of boarded up shops and some houses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Broonbreed Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 Peterheed is fucking wank. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted October 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 9 minutes ago, James Broonbreed said: Peterheed is fucking wank. The hypocrisy of two Brochers calling Peterhead a shit hole. It really is though. The High Street is one of the most tired, sad places I've ever been. Just dead. There's no life left in that town. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 55 minutes ago, Lemonade said: Just you wait until @Woodsinhogets here. Top 5 shit holes I've visited. 1 - Peterhead 2 - Glasgow 3 - Holyhead 4 - Wolverhampton 5 - Bradford Dudley got a last minute reprieve when I remembered about the day I spent in Holyhead. Fucking hell that place is desolate. Sat in a cafe for three hours because there was literally nothing else to do. Just rows of boarded up shops and some houses. It stinks, doesn't it? You can smell it from the motorway. I think the whole town is just built on rotting sewage. I can't even remember what was going on or what it really looked like. I just remember the stench. Bradford is a hellhole too, but it's worth it for the curry. Best curry on earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted October 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 35 minutes ago, Soda van Jerk said: It stinks, doesn't it? You can smell it from the motorway. I think the whole town is just built on rotting sewage. I can't even remember what was going on or what it really looked like. I just remember the stench. Bradford is a hellhole too, but it's worth it for the curry. Best curry on earth. Horrible place. I spent a lot of time there in the early 2000s. I used to stay with mates in WV1 which had some statistic like highest gun crime in the UK or some such. There was a legit drive-by shooting in the next street across one night when I was there. It's a surprisingly good night out tho. There is/was a pub called The Feathers that just didn't give a fuck about licencing laws and brazenly stayed open as late as they wanted. Rolled out of there at 5am a few times. And weirdly there was a rock / metal club in the Molyneux. Legit in one of the stands of the football stadium. Moshing to Limp Bizkit on a dance floor surrounded by photos of Wolves players was odd. There's an Asda next door that used to open 24 hours and they had to stop staying open at the weekend because people would pile in on a drunken rampage after the mosh night in the Molyneux. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waltz Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 Middlesbrough isn't actually that bad, IMO. 1. Alloa 2. Morecambe 3. Preston 4. Edinburgh 5. ...Alloa again, fuck it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 Middlesbrough is pretty crappy, but places surrounding Middlesbrough are worse. Billingham and Hartlepool in particular. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted October 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 Most of the Midlands should be nuked. Wolverhampton. Birmingham. Dudley. Derby. Get it all to fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirsten Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 23 hours ago, ca_gere said: Top 5 biggest shit-holes you've visited? Preston Preston, fucking Preston. I have only been to the bus station in Preston, but it has always been at around 3am on my way from Aberdeen to London on the Megabus when I've been unable to sleep for eight hours. The bus sits there for so long, long after anyone who needs to get on or off has done so. Your sleep-deprived brain has to contend with this view for what feels like an additional hour as you fidget and fail to close your eyes for longer than 40 seconds. Then, when you do leave the station to continue your journey, it's still 3am, the drive through the streets is eerie as fuck and the most modern looking building you'll see is a fucking Post Office. Fuck Preston. I don't think I've been to many shitty places so... 1. Preston 2. Preston 3. Fucking Preston 4. Blackpool - Only been once and it was hilarious. Shitty seaside town with England flags in every window. I watched a guy snort coke from the front step of a B&B at about 8pm. Also, weirdly, there was a picture of Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen on a banner on the prom... ...Which made us reach the conclusion the Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen is hailed as a God in Blackpool. The wax museum 'Louis Tussaud's' was the funniest thing I've ever been to. I think it's closed down now due to how bleak it was, but well worth the ticket price. We saw such stars as Jimmy Nail! Bruce Forsyth! Most grim, but also one of those most fun trips I've had. 5. Camber Sands - Admittedly, we went "off-season", end of November, for an ATP but the area was pretty sketchy. Lots of the houses had weird slogans up on them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 58 minutes ago, kirsten said: 4. Blackpool - Only been once and it was hilarious. Shitty seaside town with England flags in every window. I watched a guy snort coke from the front step of a B&B at about 8pm. Incredible. I saw a guy eat a wasp that had landed on his hot dog. He was shirtless with more than one Union Jack tattoo. I think he probably deserved it. Blackpool is a mystery. You have to go as often as possible, to see as many of the abhorrent sights as you can. A must-see horrible place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted October 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 (edited) "No clever shits" tickled and confused me. What situation could that possibly refer to? Edited October 1, 2016 by Lemonade Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattJimF Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 On 30/09/2016 at 7:00 PM, colb said: 2. Middlesbrough - made me pine for Great Yarmouth. 5. Sandhaven Yup Middlesbrough is shit, although I have bungee jumpedfrom the transporter bridge and did a night rally driving course there. My dad is from Sandhaven so spent a lot of time there, it's no Pitulie. On 30/09/2016 at 8:30 PM, ca_gere said: 4. Dijon - slap bang in the middle of france with no redeaming features. most places in France have something going, either the mountains or the sea or a lake. Dijon has fuck all. My least favourite mustard too. I went there for a meal when staying in Beaune. Seemed ok but then there was some big event on when I was there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waltz Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 Top 5 Animals, based on power, aesthetic and vibe 1. Elephant - if you don't like elephants, you can fuck off. Kings and Queens of the animal kingdom. Lovely big trunk at the front for starters, and skin that's tougher than a month-old Subway sandwich. They can mourn, they remember stuff, and they look both elegant and fearsome. Also, what a cracking noise they make. I fed an apple to an elephant once and it was fucking great. power - A+ aesthetic - A vibe - A+ 2. Dogs - dogs are outstanding, this isn't really up for discussion. power - C aesthetic - A+ vibe - A+ 3. Zebras - zebras are sort of like pretentious horses, aren't they? They're like the Bryan Ferry of the Equine world, albeit with less of a penchant for praising the Nazis. They're like horses that spent a formative weekend in Berlin and were just like "yeah we can look great all the time if we want." Never met one though, so can't account for personality. power - C aesthetic - A+ vibe - B 4. Foxes foxes are suuuper underrated. First off, they look like if you domesticated one it'd be like having both a dog and a cat, so that's rad. Also, they hate Tories and love hanging around bins so that shows they're shrewd and have a resourceful eye. I think foxes are good, I really do. However, I don't think it'd take much to just kick a fox's face clean off, so I'm taking points off there. power - C- aesthetic - B vibe - A- 5. Cows i honestly don't know how it's ok to eat cows. They're beautiful. I am a big fan of cows. Their haunting "UGGGGGHHG" noise, their resourcefulness and the fact that they're low-key destroying the O-Zone layer fucking slays, IMO. I nearly went for the majestic deer or the genuinely hilarious donkey but cows had to be in the top 5. power - A- aesthetic - B vibe - C- 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottyboy Posted October 2, 2016 Report Share Posted October 2, 2016 (edited) Woah, woah, I didn't get to post my shitholes... On 1/10/2016 at 2:30 AM, ca_gere said: 1. Coimbatore (India) Wiki informs me this is known in India as "Pump City". Sounds like a great place to visit, wahey lads. I never actually liked London much back when I'd only visited as opposed to living there; though either way the expense is its huge downside. 1. Gua Musang (Malaysia) 2. Hat Yai (Thailand) 3. Ipoh (Malaysia) 4. A particular village (or string of villages along a motorway) in buttfuck (Vietnamese) Poland. 5. Dunno - maybe a toss-up between Nagoya and Beijing (the latter has plenty of reasons to visit, nevertheless; but just for the smog, constant people in uniform yelling at you, apparent dearth of English bookshops). Phnom Penh is all right, but pretty shit if one is stuck there for more than a day or two and/or without someone to just drink with. Edited October 2, 2016 by scottyboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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