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Tips for organising a wedding


Lemonade

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Just some notes from weddings I've attended or speaking with brides at work:

I wouldn't give guests a choice for their meal - it's a lot of hassle, but my colleague is still adamant she will be offering for people to specify beef or chicken.  Usually it's just the top table who get to specify how they like their beef cooked, so if you have really fussy guests then maybe consider this when choosing.

 

Issues I've noticed at other people's weddings is that if you are having mixed seating, either get someone to be an usher or have a sign so it's clear - you end up with people standing around looking confused.

 

The tableplan can be a bit of a ball ache.  If you have any friends who are notorious for not RSVP'ing, maybe call and check that they're coming as a recent wedding I went to had two people missed and the master of ceremonies needed the groom to confirm it was ok for them to be seated/fed (because of the cost). Not ideal when the groom is busy getting his photographs taken.  Make sure all of your tablenames are spelled correctly, and that your tableplan is correct - it's embarrasing to get a call asking if you meant Hufflepuff instead of Huflepuf (Harry Potter themed...).

If you go for free seating at the meal, this can be difficult with those who have special dietary requirements and holds up service slightly.

 

Have a plan for what is going to happen with the items you have to take away at the end of the night, as some places are ok with you picking it up the following morning but often it has to be taken away when the function area closes.

 

If you make your own invitations, don't go for something too fancy because when you have to make up hundreds (not everyone will come) it makes it easier for mistakes to happen.

 

Do you have a backup plan for the band?  My cousin's band got held up due to bad traffic, so you might want to have a suitable playlist sorted.  Have you got someone who play the music for the wedding (a cd-player-button-pusher)?

 

Are young children attending the ceremony?  I'd maybe have a think and see if you'd be pissed off if someone throws a tantrum during your vows, and what you'd like the parent to do (take them outside? just ignore it?) otherwise you could end up with someone bawling the entire way through your ceremony with no-one being able to hear what is being said.  I've absolutely nothing against the kids, it's a long thing to sit through but some people feel awkward leaving and others are immune to the tantrums.

 

In all honesty, most of the packages are well priced and if you do decide to source everything yourself, then it's costly time-wise.  If anything goes wrong, then the hotel is liable whereas if you're chasing companies yourself, it can get really stressful.  You need to organise for suppliers to get access at certain times to deliver/set up everything, as well as going back to collect it.

 

I would thoroughly recommend Fairytale Events for their chair covers and venue dressing - the girls are lovely and go above and beyond to make sure your day is perfect.  One bride changed her colour scheme the day before her wedding, and they managed to accommodate the new colours!

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Excellent stuff there Sluts. Thank you. Stuff I hadn't even considered. I will be sure to take a lot of it on board and show it to the future Mrs Rathen. We are having the whole thing in a hotel and most of it should be included in the package, including a master of ceremonies to keep everything running smoothly. It is more expensive to do it that way than to organise everything separately but seems like a lot less hassle, especially since we'll be organising most of it from Ireland and can't really just nip on a flight to come over and check the seat covers are the right shade of white etc. As Chris said above, there will be quite a lot delegated to best man / bridesmaids etc. Team effort. I was a useless plum when I was best man for my best man, so hopefully he's better than me   :confused:

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I managed to round up 12 Brochers and get them on a flight to Poland (actual Poland) so I thought that was a job well done. Apparently there was more I was supposed to do. I spent most of his wedding reception standing outside the Marcliffe drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels I'd stashed in the bushes :laughing:

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Your best man will probably do a good job of being your best man having seen what a shit job you did.

 

I didn't realise what being a best man really entailed until my own wedding.  I had two best men instead of the best man / groomsman combo and to be honest, they did a fairly average job.  I had to help organise the stag weekend and they did fuck all in relation to the actual wedding apart from one of them standing up and saying a couple of insulting things at my wedding.  But, nobody had told them what they were supposed to do (I didn't really know myself either to be honest).

 

I was best man for one of those guys last year and I had a much better appreciation of things.  Organising the stag do is the main one (don't let anyone tell you otherwise...), which I did and took on all the responsibility instead of letting the groom have to worry about that side of things (he'll have enough to concern himself with...).  I then just pitched in where I could to help - i.e. just said "anything I can do?" sort of thing and generally looked after him on the morning of the wedding to keep him calm - helped to get him dressed (genuinely - he was struggling with his collar and cravat combo and cuff links and that sort of shit) and looking smart for the day.  I had a couple of extra responsibilities too, to do with popping champagne and stuff at the ceremony.  All simple stuff, but you don't dare fuck it up...

 

Preparing properly for the speech (any speech) is always a very good idea.  I've had to stand up and speak at a few weddings now and it does get easier, but DO NOT try to wing it.  I knew the speech (complete with props) off by heart, but had the prompt cards at the ready to help out when I inevitably got a bit nervous.  I'd practised it and practised it.  It went so much better than any previous efforts of mine.  At my brother's wedding which I think was 11 years ago now, I forgot my bit of paper.  It was a short speech and I thought I knew it off by heart, but when I stood up with no piece of paper in my hand, my mind went completely blank.  Nightmare...

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Anyone who 'wings' his best man speech is a fanny. It's your best friend's wedding for fuck sake, that has to mean something.

 

I went to a pretty trashy wedding once where the best man got up and was clearly very drunk and just kinda sighed into the microphone and said 'what can I say... been best friends since we were little...*long pause*... *shakes head*....*Loud sigh*...*sits back down*' 

 

I'm no bridezilla or anything but if that was my best man I'd be raging.

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A few things I picked up on from my own wedding...

 

- Sod the organised stag night, just go out and go wherever the fuck you want. I had a brilliant night by not planning a thing - we even had shots of vodka in the 24 hour post office at one point. Much less hassle and everyone will enjoy themselves anyway.

 

- If you have a DJ, pay careful attention to the sound level. It might be your wedding, but most people want to talk shite, not dance constantly to cheesy 90's pop songs.

 

- Just make sure the food comes for everyone at the same time. I was at a wedding when it took nearly 30 minutes for 70 guests to be served dinner - way too long! The food itself - don't worry about it, no-one will remember what it was like anyway.

 

- Don't leave until the last guest does. It's unbelievably rude, in my opinion.

 

- Don't allow kids at the wedding. They're a pain in the arse and will take over the show. I know several women who were rather pissed off after their weddings because of how everyone fussed over the oh-so-cute little brat that kept howling.

 

- And relax. If it's not perfect, it's no big deal - no-one will care or remember anyway.

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I would agree that centrepieces are something which should be decided by the bride. She showed me a selection last week and got frustrated with my series of indifferent shrugs. 

 

Ah there was your first mistake. Rule of thumb is show interest. Give advice on what you think is best and why you think that....however, you've got to say those things about the ones you DON'T want. She will then pick what's left which is the ones you prefer really. She thinks that you're interested but she is still making the calls. This works all through married life. Same with shopping if she drags you along. Look interested and poohoo the things she looks hot in....she will buy them for sure:)

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Having just returned from my wedding / honeymoon in Poland (the USA) I would suggest doing it all abroad.

 

We booked Vegas for our wedding and it was miles cheaper than doing it over here (cost not being our major concern mind you). We had an evening rooftop wedding overlooking the Vegas strip with 35 folks there and the hotel organised the majority of the evening including all the food / free bar / ceremony / music / flowers. It took a lot of pressure off us (despite still having loads of stuff to organise).

 

 

We have an Aberdeen reception later this month for all those that couldn't make the trip overseas.

 

I echo the sentiment about no stagger the night before. Luckily I had my stag do in Aberdeen a few weeks before we went. We had a vegas stag arranged too. Sadly I was up until 5am the night before it and Vegas broke me in style so I missed the stag. A blessing in disguise in the end as one of the LADZ ended up dropping about $2000 in some strippers before losing his phone and trying to asphyxy wank himself with his belt whilst getting a 'dance'.

 

I also had to arrange my own stag here as my brother lives in Australia and the other friend tasked with this was absolutely useless. Organising the stag was probably the most stressful element for me. You don't realise how useless people are.

 

The bonus of doing it all abroad is that we then went straight on honeymoon and made a cracking holiday of the whole event.

 

The downside is I'm back to work this morning and feel like the world has ended.

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  • 3 months later...

Wee update, just in case:

 

I went to another wedding recently (my colleague who is a wedding co-ordinator!) and her minister read out the wrong vows.  Obviously, once you've started you can't change it.  He  hadn't checked his emails properly so thought they just wanted the standard.  They had actually written their own, and the bride didn't realise as she obviously didn't know what her Grooms's were, it was only when it was her turn that it clicked.

 

There were about 7 kids, all running riot and the bride admitted she wished the parents had taken them to the back of the venue, as her wedding was being videoed, so you probably won't hear their vows or the readings.

She's advising future brides to consider getting the ushers or master of ceremonies to have a quiet word with the parents, so the couple aren't distracted during the ceremony.

 

People kept leaving between courses to have a cigarette, so that held up service and we finished about an hour later than expected - so if you've a lot of smokers in your invite list, take this into consideration as you might have the evening guests arriving just as dessert does!  

 

The CD player wouldn't work with her wedding music CD, as she'd burned it on her home computer, so either check the day before or have a back-up ipod/mp3 player!

 

The bride provided a toiletries basket for the ladies and gents, including deodorant, hairspray, kirby grips etc... which was well-received :) 

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Yeah went to a wedding recently which had the toiletries which was a nice touch. Also flip flops for the ladies in heels where available. At my mates wedding his son was crying a fair bit and one of the best men got really upset as he had told the grandparents to bring lollies. If theres kids bring sweets. Laced with whisky.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Any wedding bands that people know/think are pretty great?

 

I'm in the depths of wedding planning.

 

Clachan Yell.  Best ceilidh band I've seen in the area, really energetic and have a great bounce to the tunes (some ceilidh bands just feel like they're going through the motions).  They were awesome at our wedding.

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Any wedding bands that people know/think are pretty great?

 

I'm in the depths of wedding planning.

 

If your looking for a mix of both ceilidh and pop etc then I would recommend Referendum. We had them at our wedding but not sure they are still going as there was word of them stopping... At my last hotel, I booked Eclipse to do our hogmanay party for 6 years and I believe they still get the gig and I've been gone 4 years. Both relatively expensive but very very good at getting the guests going.

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