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Soda Jerk

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Someone, a genuinely fine person that I know, keeps putting up Minion memes on Facebook.

Today's highlight is a sad-looking Minion with the words: "Welcome, today's specials are lack of sleep, up too early, and low on patience. Thank you, Please come again".

Not only does that make little-to-no sense grammatically, there's also no need for these sentiments to be described by a Minion. I've been forced to watch that film they're in, they're annoying wee cunts, who are far from verbose. Why would a Minion have these feelings? 

I'm sure I've talked about this before, but we're reaching a Minion crisis. They've replaced "KEEP CALM AND ____" in the 'meaningless, non-sensical sentiment' stakes. 

Fuck Minions. I wish they were real so I could beat the shit out of them.

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Not only does that make little-to-no sense grammatically, there's also no need for these sentiments to be described by a Minion. I've been forced to watch that film they're in, they're annoying wee cunts, who are far from verbose. Why would a Minion have these feelings?

 

Yeah, this is happening a lot. I keep seeing memes which are pictures of Will Ferrell, with text over the top. The text is never something Will Ferrell or a character played by Will Ferrell has ever said. Why is this happening?

 

I'm also seeing more and more likes/shares of descriptions of mundane situations (usually involving the word "bae") followed by a picture of a facial expression.

 

why-you-always-gotta-be-like-that-bae_gp

 

Ten thousand likes. The comments will just be this 160x160x23-face-with-tears-of-joy.png.pa ad infinitum.

 

I don't get it.

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  • 3 weeks later...

There should be a "parent post" filter on Facebook - getting really fed up of the practically constant stream of baby photos from new parents.

 

I don't mind the odd one, but uploading a mini-photo shoot is taking the piss.  If it's for family to see, just make a group whatsapp or make the album private.

 

(disclaimer: I feel the same way about numerous selfie mini-photo shoots, it's just "oh look, one expression from every angle imaginable)

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There should be a "parent post" filter on Facebook - getting really fed up of the practically constant stream of baby photos from new parents.

 

I don't mind the odd one, but uploading a mini-photo shoot is taking the piss.  If it's for family to see, just make a group whatsapp or make the album private.

 

(disclaimer: I feel the same way about numerous selfie mini-photo shoots, it's just "oh look, one expression from every angle imaginable)

I feel I should apologise on this front.

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I feel I should apologise on this front.

Not at all, yours are few and far between!  

 

It's mostly an in-law, and every fucking morning there's a "I'M A MOTHER, LOOK AT MY CHILD'S FACE" followed by "I'M A MOTHER, LOOK AT MY CHILD EATING", with a few more "MY CHILD IS POSING".

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As someone with a first child due in about 3 1/2 weeks, I've had a lot of chat with the wife about this same thing. There are some of our friends kids who have spent every second of their lives so far being photographed and plastered onto facebook and not only is it a total bore for your friends on fb, what does it do to the kid? Spending your whole life with a phone jammed in your face can't be good.

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I actually had a daft thought after reading Phillip K Dick, imagining that people evolve to recognise cameras rather than faces...

 

We've agreed if/when I get up the duff nowt is posted online, I don't want any announcements and I don't want my kids life documented step by step for facebook friends. Photos taking the piss out of them, is another matter though!

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I was on my FB the other day and someone was posting pictures of their kids "Graduation" from nursery school!

Why is that even a thing?

 

They had an itinery posted which included the kids singing songs.  One of which was, "Twinkle Twinkle, I'm a Star"......What?

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Please tell me that "graduation" was in ca_gere's part of Poland. 

 

Even if it wasn't just tell me it was so I'll feel better.

 

It was definetely in "Poland" (middlefield nursery)

 

Haven't unfriended but unfollowed...possibly the best option FB ever added. 

This person also ends every interaction with her partner with, "xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <3".  

Edited by Lucius
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I was on my FB the other day and someone was posting pictures of their kids "Graduation" from nursery school!

Why is that even a thing?

 

They had an itinery posted which included the kids singing songs.  One of which was, "Twinkle Twinkle, I'm a Star"......What?

 

I have a few friends who were posting pictures of nursery graduations this year. Was blissfully unaware it was a thing until now.  Seems like a total pile of shit brought over from America but which there's no escape from. Who wants to be the one to tell their kid they can't "graduate" because it's a load of fucking pish?

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Both nursery graduations and people in personal 1-1 relationships who do all of their communication in public via facebook are serious piss-boilers for me too. Unfollowing is magnificent.

 

Yeah, I've unfollowed a heap but it's difficult at social gatherings when they just do the "did you see what I posted on fb earlier".  Ugh, NO.

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  • 1 month later...

Someone I went to school with, who moved to Spain to live and work for a number of years before returning to England, is mad at foreign people coming to live in this country.

 

28we935.png

 

Even included the classic "not racist but..."

 

A solid B-grade rant. Could have been an A if she rounded it up with "this country is going to the dogs". So close.

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No, Vinnie Jones apparently thinks England has gone to pot with all the immigrants - there was an article floating about Twitter.  Obviously pointing out the irony of attacking immigrants, whilst living in California.

 

Edit - seems to be an oldie http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2409481/Vinnie-Jones-brands-England-completely-unrecognisable-European-country.html

Edited by Scubby
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