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How did you meet Adam Easy Wishes?


Guest E.C
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For years I had admired him from afar, onstage and online, but never plucked up the courage to introduce myself to him. What would I say anyway? What would he think of me? Would he know who I am? What if he was all like “whatever” if I tried to say something interesting? These notions haunted me for many years and I would often wake in a cold sweat from a dream where I was introducing myself to him after a Deportees show and he would engage me with a withering look and note that I was standing in front of him naked with my penis all shrivelled up to the size of an acorn.

Then, one day last season I texted Christy to see if he was at Pittodrie. Yes, he was and he was with the one they call Adam Easy Wishes! He invited me to seek them out to sit with them for the second half. Here’s my chance I thought. ‘Now just stay cool Dunc, STAY COOL GODDAMMIT’ I said to myself. I was shaking as I sat down next to him and managed to mumble a greeting in a higher pitched voice than normal. Not a good start I thought to myself, but not a disaster.

My heart was pounding as I noticed our legs were touching. I was in contact with the great man himself! Think Dunc, think of something to say!

“Darren Mackie is pish” I opined. A safe opener, or so I thought.

Nothing. Not a glimmer of recognition. Did he hear me and choose to ignore me or did he just miss what I said? Should I repeat it and run the risk of making a fool of myself or should I just act cool? I chose the latter, carrying out “cool” as best a man of my social awkwardness could be expected to do.

The game was played out and some general comments were made of not much significance. I didn’t care about the significance though, I’d had a conversation with him at last! It was the happiest day of my life.

We are now friends on Facebook and have even drank beer together.

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For years I had admired him from afar, onstage and online, but never plucked up the courage to introduce myself to him. What would I say anyway? What would he think of me? Would he know who I am? What if he was all like “whatever” if I tried to say something interesting? These notions haunted me for many years and I would often wake in a cold sweat from a dream where I was introducing myself to him after a Deportees show and he would engage me with a withering look and note that I was standing in front of him naked with my penis all shrivelled up to the size of an acorn.

Then, one day last season I texted Christy to see if he was at Pittodrie. Yes, he was and he was with the one they call Adam Easy Wishes! He invited me to seek them out to sit with them for the second half. Here’s my chance I thought. ‘Now just stay cool Dunc, STAY COOL GODDAMMIT’ I said to myself. I was shaking as I sat down next to him and managed to mumble a greeting in a higher pitched voice than normal. Not a good start I thought to myself, but not a disaster.

My heart was pounding as I noticed our legs were touching. I was in contact with the great man himself! Think Dunc, think of something to say!

“Darren Mackie is pish” I opined. A safe opener, or so I thought.

Nothing. Not a glimmer of recognition. Did he hear me and choose to ignore me or did he just miss what I said? Should I repeat it and run the risk of making a fool of myself or should I just act cool? I chose the latter, carrying out “cool” as best a man of my social awkwardness could be expected to do.

The game was played out and some general comments were made of not much significance. I didn’t care about the significance though, I’d had a conversation with him at last! It was the happiest day of my life.

We are now friends on Facebook and have even drank beer together.

This is amazing.

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