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I wish I lived in New York and had a (presumably) sexy girl friend who got turned on by my voice. Instead I live in Banchory, where I'm from, so my accent means nothing. I've pretty much slept with/upset/been told "it'll never happen" by everyone I know from here anyway (female that is). Can I come and live with you now?

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Jake mentions Irish GIRL. heinz shows picture, Jake assumes the only thing wrong intended with the picture is the subject being overweight.

something wrong here.

Homophobe.

Nahh I just couldn't think of anything better to say. That guy's minging, even if I was gay he'd still be minging. If a girl was that big she'd be mingin'. But they all need loving, I'm just not up to the task.

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