Le Stu Posted May 29, 2011 Report Share Posted May 29, 2011 This seems like it could catch on, some guy on another forum came up with the idea. Here's how it works:Someone suggests a subject for the limerick like, for example, Swiss cheese. The first person to post a limerick on the subject of Swiss Cheese gets to choose the next one. like so:when Cheddar, Red Leicester or Goudawon't do and your brie could be louderwhat you need to pleaseis a nice holey cheeseEmmental is as sound as a pounda.next subject is Cricket. Go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaseyBoi Posted May 29, 2011 Report Share Posted May 29, 2011 Oh how i bloody hate cricketThe rules just dont stick in my bread basketIts utterly shatI'd rather be called mattand play for a band called killacasketNext subject is potpourri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted May 29, 2011 Report Share Posted May 29, 2011 Pot pourri, they say, should be floralWith scent which is fragrant and calmBut my new idea is to use diarrhoeaCos it's just like the shit that I amnext subject.....toenails Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelecasterSam Posted May 29, 2011 Report Share Posted May 29, 2011 If your toenails are in need of a cuttingCoz their too long, look gross and are gnarlyPlease use the right clippersAnd take off your slippersOr when youre out youll look a right Charlie !next subject.....farting ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke1976 Posted May 29, 2011 Report Share Posted May 29, 2011 There once was a man from North WalesWho was partial to his mum's toenailsWhat came from her feet Was a glorious treatOnly better was his dead mum,s entrailsOranges lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted May 29, 2011 Report Share Posted May 29, 2011 I courted a lady from Mastrickwho had a few problems, all gastricShe fired out her farts like garlicky dartsThrough holes in her knicker elasticnext subject.....fuzz pedals 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted May 29, 2011 Report Share Posted May 29, 2011 If oranges tasted like applesand farts smelt like flowers in springI'd staple the pips to my grandmother's hipsto see what her screaming would bringstill fuzz pedals... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 I thought in Limericks, the first, second and last lines had to rhyme? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Ah ha....ok then, another orange one..If orange groves flourished in BuckieAnd haggises roved in KentuckyWe'd get all confused, or at least be amusedTil our brains got all mushy and yuckyFuzz pedals Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Yeah the rhyme structure is meant to be:AABBAWhen a guitarist just can't play for shitBut decides that he must disguise itHe'll often resortTo just over-distortWith a Big Muff and dance like a tit.Next subject: Words With Friends.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 I didn't know about words with friendsSo I decided to make ammendsI headed to GoogleBut because I'm so frugalMy dial-up stopped working againNext subject - prison rape Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 In prison you're warned off the showersBut after debating for hoursI said fuck this, by goshI shall go for a washBut came back from the shower defloweredNext up: Neil Lennonxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 There once was a ginger called NeilWho would frequently give you a spielHe spoke with aplomb'Til a large homemade bombArrived in a package, well sealed.Next: antidisestablishmentarianism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest B. Arthur Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 I was once told antidisestablishmentarianism,When said too quick makes the heart have a schism (cmon)I tried it one night,And got such a fright, When my chest beat an awfully strange rhythm.Next topic: a tub of frozen diarrhea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 I once had a rumbling belly.I found a tub of something quite smelly.To my delightIt was frozen shiteI even shared some with R. Kelly.EDIT: Next topic - Wonderbras. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 If a girl ever wanted to cheat And pretend that her breasts had more meat She can push together her paps To fill in the gaps Wonderbras are cleavage deceit Next one: Kevin Costner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest B. Arthur Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 There once was a man called Kevin,He'd been an actor since age 11,His surname was Costner,His parents were Fosters,And almost all of his movies are really crap.Next topic: War of the Worlds Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 When aliens invaded our planetAnd tripods were sent out to scan itThey reached Aberdeen where the people were meanAnd bombarded their space ships with graniteNext subject.....Tattoos 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 They stab some ink into your skinWhile you wear a grimacing faux-grinIt hurts like a bitchAnd by fuck do they itchBut worth it for the clunge they bring in.Next up: Trolls.Either him:Or them:Surprise me.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 I went along to a tattoo studioWith a design of a unicorn pooping a rainbowThe artist took a lookThen his head he shookAnd sternly he simply said "No."That was shite.Next topic, IRN BRU Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 There once was a girl from KrakowWho said "I want a tattoo, right now"But she wasn't so meekA W on each cheekWhen she bent over the boys all said "wow".Next: Jim Rosenthal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Sat on the bus next to a lady whoWatched me incorrectly fill in the sudokuBut the bitch was so oldShe didn't realise she'd been trolledAnd tried to show me what to doAgain. Im shite at this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 It's fizzy and ginger, that's trueIt's packaging; orange and blueIt's outselling cokeAnd it gives Yanks the boakPhenomenal? That's up to youNow, trolls.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Sat on the bus next to a lady whoWatched me incorrectly fill in the sudokuBut the bitch was so oldShe didn't realise she'd been trolledAnd tried to show me what to doAgain. Im shite at this.So next...Ice Hockey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Toothless behemoths with sticksWith knives on their feet just for kicksThey batter a puckWhilst they fight like fuckBut racially, they don't intermix.Next up; the Moorings.xxEDIT: I fucking love this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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