James Broonbreed Posted July 15, 2015 Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 Aye, it's all fun and games 'til your kid points at a dildo in the sky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattJimF Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-33541502 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 Winnipeg police helicopter accidentally broadcasts oral sex conversation to people on ground http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/winnipeg-police-helicopter-accidentally-broadcasts-explicit-conversation-to-people-on-ground Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colb Posted July 17, 2015 Report Share Posted July 17, 2015 David Cameron says he's gonna keep his 10% pay rise because "it's the right thing to do".I actually can't even... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac Atom Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 (edited) Edited July 21, 2015 by Mac Atom 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted July 21, 2015 Report Share Posted July 21, 2015 That is brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Broonbreed Posted August 21, 2015 Report Share Posted August 21, 2015 A bit mental. http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/08/21/animal-rights-activist-beaten-with-a-duck-at-bizarre-catalan-festival_n_8019556.html?utm_hp_ref=uk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Owl PhD Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 http://pitchfork.com/news/61369-pope-francis-to-release-rock-album-shares-first-song-wake-up-go-go-forward/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Broonbreed Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Another mintal Yank. http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/10/01/body-integrity-identity-disorder-woman-blind_n_8226738.html?utm_hp_ref=uk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Broonbreed Posted October 8, 2015 Report Share Posted October 8, 2015 Paedogeddon! http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/10/07/italian-priest-justified-paedophilia-children-seek-affection_n_8259916.html?utm_hp_ref=uk What was that joke about sexy kids again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted October 8, 2015 Report Share Posted October 8, 2015 Another mintal Yank. http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/10/01/body-integrity-identity-disorder-woman-blind_n_8226738.html?utm_hp_ref=uk I can't believe she found a psychologist willing to pour drain cleaner in her eye, rather than trying to tackle her disorder. That's the crazy part of this story. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH Posted October 13, 2015 Report Share Posted October 13, 2015 https://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/fp/news/local/serial-bird-thief-admits-stealing-aberdeen-pensioners-prized-pigeons/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Owl PhD Posted October 13, 2015 Report Share Posted October 13, 2015 http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/oct/13/woman-sues-11-year-old-nephew-hug-broke-wrist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottyboy Posted October 15, 2015 Report Share Posted October 15, 2015 http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-34537841 "Boris Johnson has knocked over a 10-year-old child while playing touch rugby in Japan." A good one for the satirists and Boris's PR team: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH Posted November 23, 2015 Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 The Evening Express confuses weather with paranormal activity. https://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/fp/news/local/wheelie-bin-spooks-aberdeen-resident/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattJimF Posted January 27, 2016 Report Share Posted January 27, 2016 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3418946/Pantless-driver-dies-ejected-sunroof-masturbating-porn-cellphone-car-rolled-over.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted March 13, 2016 Report Share Posted March 13, 2016 Thanks P&J Quote Aberdeen shopper thought she had to pay £642 to get her car out of shopping centre A shopper in Aberdeen got a shock this weekend then a machine in the Bon Accord shopping centre showed she had to pay £642 to get out. Kerrie Andrews was heading back towards her car when she dropped her chip and picked the wrong one up. But the situation was quickly resolved and avoided having to add hundreds of pounds onto the shopping bill as she found the right chip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted March 21, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2016 (edited) Max Kruse: Germany striker dropped after poker & Nutella issues When Wolfsburg striker Max Kruse was fined for leaving 75,000 euros (£59,000) of poker winnings in the back of a taxi, he probably thought his week could not get any worse. How wrong he was. Now after a tumultuous seven days in which he has also been publicly admonished for his Nutella addiction and forced to build a chicken coop in dungarees, the 28-year-old has been dropped from the Germany squad for the friendly against England in Berlin on Saturday. The sanction imposed by his Bundesliga club was 25,000 euros (£20,000), meaning Kruse's misdemeanours have left him almost £80,000 poorer - not to mention the considerable dents to his pride and blood sugar levels. As if all that was not enough, he was photographed at a night club at the weekend where he grabbed a woman's mobile phone and tried to delete the pictures, according to German newspaper Bild. Germany manager Joachim Low was not sympathetic, saying: "We need players who are focused on football and also understand their role as role models. "I talked with Max about what I expect from players on and off the pitch. His actions in the last weeks were unprofessional." According to Bild, the trouble began in October, after Kruse enjoyed a successful evening at the World Series Poker tournament in Berlin. Sadly, his joy was short-lived, as the cash suffered a fate familiar to countless Bundesliga defenders: left trailing in Kruse's wake. The striker contacted the police but the money has never been recovered, and to add to insult to injury, he was reprimanded by Wolfsburg last week after the incident was made public. To make matters worse, Kruse could not even seek solace in his favourite comfort food. Wolfsburg director Klaus Allofs confronted him at the club's winter training camp and told him to kick the chocolate hazelnut spread into touch, Bild reported. "The aim is to support our players to deliver optimum performance," Allofs said. "Max needs to correct a few things." Deprived of his sugary fix, there remained one final indignity for Kruse. As part of Wolfsburg's community programme, he was sent to help out at a youth group - where he was snapped in a fetching pair of green dungarees, taking part in the construction of a chicken coop. So far, it has not been a month to remember for Wolfsburg's strikers: last week Nicklas Bendtner was fined 2,250 euros (£1,750) after sleeping through his alarm clock and missing training. This is a real article. Honest. Here is the link to prove that it's not a storyline to a never-aired Alan Partridge episode: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/35864765 Edited March 21, 2016 by Soda van Jerk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodsinho Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 Serious Bizniss: http://www.scottishconstructionnow.com/11056/and-finally-metal-band-architects-reported-for-misuse-of-title/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattJimF Posted April 6, 2016 Report Share Posted April 6, 2016 http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/35974305 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted April 6, 2016 Report Share Posted April 6, 2016 2 hours ago, MattJimF said: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/35974305 Fresh off a mark-setting 1-0 win at home to Dumbarton in their biggest game of the season. Absolute cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted April 6, 2016 Report Share Posted April 6, 2016 I'm just looking forward to them still not darkening Tannadice's doors for the next season or so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gypsum_Fantastic Posted April 8, 2016 Report Share Posted April 8, 2016 https://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/fp/news/local/fears-funeral-home-could-move-next-door-to-hotel1/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colb Posted April 8, 2016 Report Share Posted April 8, 2016 (edited) 1 hour ago, Gypsum_Fantastic said: https://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/fp/news/local/fears-funeral-home-could-move-next-door-to-hotel1/ Do people die all day every day in Peterculter? I've only driven through the place, it doesn't really give off that Compton/Downtown Mogadishu vibe.... Edited April 8, 2016 by colb 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gypsum_Fantastic Posted April 8, 2016 Report Share Posted April 8, 2016 Maybe more Midsumer Murders (mmm much alliteration) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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