Guest davetherave Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 What is the etiquette for driving behind a funeral procession, do you overtake or waste half your day following behind?I think your supposed to give way to them at roundabouts and waste time following them? Though I've overtaken a few Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest davetherave Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 I want to be your friend. You sound my my kinda guy.xxYou can be my friend anytime, just remember to bring a fresh sleeping bag 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 At a festival many years ago, I woke up in a lassies tent after a night of unbridled passion (and much cider)! She was awake next to me and looking very embarrased and upset, I noticed a smell of piss, but saying nothing about that I asked what was wrong? She apologized and said it must have been the cider that made her piss the sleeping bags we were lying on. I told her not to worry about it, gave her a hug and went off to find my own tent.What I didnt mention to her was that it was me that had pissed myself in my sleep! I'd woken up before her and arranged the sleeping bags so that she was in the urine soaked parts!Hahahaha! What a gent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 In 2004 I got my heart broken by a girl. As if rejecting me wasn't bad enough, 2 weeks after rejecting me because "she wanted to be by herself for a while" she took up with another guy. I spent pretty much an entire month sitting at home listening to that song "Mr Brightside" by the Killers and crying. ("She's touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now" etc.) Fucking wimmin. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoonie Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 When I got binned big style for the first time, I firstly shagged a bird who looked like skeletor and got me to fist her and then was smashing through bottles of Jim Beam like an absolute fiend. It was a proper downward spiral. Nasty business. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatboy Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 When I got binned big style for the first time, I firstly shagged a bird who looked like skeletor and got me to fist her and then was smashing through bottles of Jim Beam like an absolute fiend. It was a proper downward spiral. Nasty business.Skinny girl?......size of your fists! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flights Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 I once blocked a toilet in asda after i accidently knocked a lavvy roll into the bog. an asda ace came in to do his hourly check as I was washing my hands. His face at the sight of water pouring out of the cubicle inspired me to blame the group of kids who just left. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 Last weekend I dropped a bottle of milk in tesco and it burst. I picked it up but more came out, so I put it back on it's side on the floor and got the hell out of there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 I can't remember what shop I was in, but I was buying jeans, and one had a 50% off sticker on them, but the ones I wanted didn't. So I just peeled off the sticker and slapped them on the ones I was buying. Bang. £15 jeans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoonie Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 Skinny girl?......size of your fists!Oh aye, she had a fanny like a ripped oot fireplace. I barebacked it too an ended up in the GUM clinic but that's another story for another time. Pretty grim episode all round! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatboy Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 I didn't pay for my hot coffee at the sainsbury's local at st nicholas, I put the coffee on top of the monitor of the selfservice till and just scanned everything else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 I wrote out a thing for Soda Jerk but had to close it 'cause my boss walked past and I was laughing to hard 'cause I wrote "milky slip at the checkouts". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 In 2004 I got my heart broken by a girl. As if rejecting me wasn't bad enough, 2 weeks after rejecting me because "she wanted to be by herself for a while" she took up with another guy. I spent pretty much an entire month sitting at home listening to that song "Mr Brightside" by the Killers and crying. ("She's touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now" etc.) Fucking wimmin.This entire thing happened to me at the same time. Same song. Quite uncanny.I once saw her car outside her new man's house and pissed on the door handle. Perhaps that was a little too far. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 This entire thing happened to me at the same time. Same song. Quite uncanny.I once saw her car outside her new man's house and pissed on the door handle. Perhaps that was a little too far.We have the same birthday too. I'm starting to think we might be twins / the same person.I didn't piss on her door handles. In fact I didn't really do anything bad to her except hate her from afar. I haven't spoken to her since. Often wonder what happened to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 Pissing on things for petty personal justice is absolutely majestic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Milner Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 At a festival many years ago, I woke up in a lassies tent after a night of unbridled passion (and much cider)! She was awake next to me and looking very embarrased and upset, I noticed a smell of piss, but saying nothing about that I asked what was wrong? She apologized and said it must have been the cider that made her piss the sleeping bags we were lying on. I told her not to worry about it, gave her a hug and went off to find my own tent.What I didnt mention to her was that it was me that had pissed myself in my sleep! I'd woken up before her and arranged the sleeping bags so that she was in the urine soaked parts!Thats possibly the best festival story you could tell.I thought my flat mates boyfriends story of them taking a pooping tent where everyone just shat through the tent door and walked away was raw, that takes it to a new level. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 I may or may not have to do Community Service at some point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flights Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 I didn't pay for my hot coffee at the sainsbury's local at st nicholas, I put the coffee on top of the monitor of the selfservice till and just scanned everything else.You'd think with your past of getting caught for petty crimes you would be dotting every i! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 I may or may not have to do Community Service at some point.Surely this applies to everyone? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Milner Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 Not me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 You either may or may not do community service in your life. There's no other option. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Milner Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 depends how you look at it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 I mean I got a letter saying I do. But this was in October. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 depends how you look at it.No it doesn't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Milner Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 No it doesn't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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