Alkaline Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 I was tempted to stipulate that no fellow forum members were allowed to appear on lists. That could potentially lead to some actual skelping. Which would be fun for some, but not so much for others.That's why names were not mentioned, just in case they all ganged up on me or something. All i'm saying is watch the fire extinguisher scene in Irreversible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 I forgot 50 Cent. I just started a beef with him on Twitter. Straight up gangsta shit. lucky_rathen You should probably master speaking English first - RT @50Cent "I'm going to learn to speak spanish..." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 I know this thread isn't meant to be taken literally but it got me thinking. I really wouldn't take any joy from punching a famous person in the face unless they'd done something personal to me. With this in mind I'd have Hardeep Singh Koli on my list. He was in the same bar as me the other week and it was a howling gale and driving rain outside so instead of stepping outside to smoke, he just stuck his head out the 'patio' door leaving the rain, wind and fag smoke to blow right into our faces. My mate, ever the gentleman and always polite, asked him if he could shut the door a bit coz it was freezing, which he did without speaking. Then Mr big baws comedian man comes back later for another fag, opens the door, stands just outside, sparks up then turns to us and says sarcastically 'oh is this ok?... You would tell me if it wasn't?' whilst his mate is creasing himself. My mate was Sooo close to chinning him but it was a swanky do and he's got a fairly public job in local government so was best he didn't. Always hated the smug unfunny cunt anyway but when they confirm their cuntiness in front of you it makes punching them ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Arsene Wenger. Stop moaning about football being physical you fucking woofter. It's not Sam Allardyce's or Ryan Shawcross's fault that all your players are 5ft8 and break their metatarsal in a strong gust of wind. I would punch you until the end of the day, and then start again the next morning, for at least a weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 I know this thread isn't meant to be taken literally but it got me thinking. I really wouldn't take any joy from punching a famous person in the face unless they'd done something personal to me. With this in mind I'd have Hardeep Singh Koli on my list. He was in the same bar as me the other week and it was a howling gale and driving rain outside so instead of stepping outside to smoke, he just stuck his head out the 'patio' door leaving the rain, wind and fag smoke to blow right into our faces. My mate, ever the gentleman and always polite, asked him if he could shut the door a bit coz it was freezing, which he did without speaking. Then Mr big baws comedian man comes back later for another fag, opens the door, stands just outside, sparks up then turns to us and says sarcastically 'oh is this ok?... You would tell me if it wasn't?' whilst his mate is creasing himself. My mate was Sooo close to chinning him but it was a swanky do and he's got a fairly public job in local government so was best he didn't. Always hated the smug unfunny cunt anyway but when they confirm their cuntiness in front of you it makes punching them ok.Plus he's a sex pest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Arsene Wenger. Stop moaning about football being physical you fucking woofter. It's not Sam Allardyce's or Ryan Shawcross's fault that all your players are 5ft8 and break their metatarsal in a strong gust of wind. I would punch you until the end of the day, and then start again the next morning, for at least a weekend.I found a post of yours yesterday that was similar to this that had me fucking creasing. I'm off to find it again....EDIT - here it is. The "knicker wearing jessie" line just about killed me.I've always supprted England, for the simple reason that their squad is made up entirely of players I watch on the telly every Saturday night, and I know them all. Plus, they're the nearest country to Scotland Though in saying that, I do still have a sly giggle when they get knocked out.Even I have a bit of a chortle when it zooms in to some toddler with a Union Jack sprayed on his face, being ruined by his blubbering. And then manly man's man John Terry, our lion-hearted leader, starts to have a bit of a bubble, the big fucking racist wimp, and then the whole world gives us a right good laughing at. And rightly so. We've always been a bunch of crybabies. Gazza. Terry. The lot.Look at Fletcher, when he saw red against Arsenal, meaning he'd miss the CL final. Took it like a man. I bet he had steak for tea that night, right before pummeling his missis through the wall. Where as John Terry, when he slipped and missed that penalty, probably went home, had a soak in the bath and watched Confessions of a Shopaholic, the fucking knicker wearing jessie.I'm gonna root for England. As an avid fan of the English Premier League, I've grown to really appreciate and respect some of the bigger players such as Steven Gerrard, Joe Cole and Frank Lampard - players who are awesome week-in, week-out. I'd really like to see these guys lift the World Cup. Especially Gerrard, who, for me, is the most complete footballer that's ever existed. He deserves it. He deserves to lift the English Premier League trophy too, but that'll never happen whilst he plays for Liverpool.Aw no. No no. Steven Gerrard (whilst admittedly being a complete footballer) is a total goober. And he's one of those England-fru'-n-fru' numpties that moans about dutty foreigners ruining the game with their diving, and then goes and lobs himself all about the penalty area himself. It was gutting to see that cheating, car-stereo-theiving botter lift the Champions League trophy after an olympic dive to accompany their comeback.Still, if he scores a couple in the World Cup, then he's a good egg, temporarily, I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Arsene Wenger. Stop moaning about football being physical you fucking woofter. It's not Sam Allardyce's or Ryan Shawcross's fault that all your players are 5ft8 and break their metatarsal in a strong gust of wind. I would punch you until the end of the day, and then start again the next morning, for at least a weekend.I was tempted to list Arsene Wenger, but I could push out a little squeeky fart and it would still floor Wenger. He's about 6st 9lbs. Punching him in the face would not be satisfying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingofdeon Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Chris WoodsGary StephensStuart MunroRichard GoughTerry ButcherDale GordonIan FergusonAlly McCoistMo JohnstonPieter HuistraNacho N*voBarry FergusonTerry HurlockStephan Guivarch (Who now sells swimming pools for a living - cunt)Charlie Miller - little fat cheating drunk fuckDerek JohnstonGraeme SounessRicky FosterAlan GowAllan McGregor (though i do rate him as a player).......and James Cordon and the dude from Block Party "Kele". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Has anyone mentioned kanye west? I'd break my gandhi-like moral code just for his novelty sized jaw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Scott Booth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingofdeon Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Chris WoodsGary StephensStuart MunroRichard GoughTerry ButcherDale GordonIan FergusonAlly McCoistMo JohnstonPieter HuistraNacho N*voBarry FergusonTerry HurlockStephan Guivarch (Who now sells swimming pools for a living - cunt)Charlie Miller - little fat cheating drunk fuckDerek JohnstonGraeme SounessRicky FosterAlan GowAllan McGregor (though i do rate him as a player).......and James Cordon and the dude from Block Party "Kele".Actually id take Ricky Foster out of there. Just give him a dead arm or summin...There were two Rangers players i just couldnt bring myself to type their names.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfer_Rosa Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Kelvin MacKenzieKay BurleyBoth Gallagher brothersMorrisey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oedo 808 Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Chick YoungKyle LaffertyThose two are gold.Calvin Harris.Seriously though, most folk just don't annoy me that much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Cocker Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Sophie Ellis Bextor, the simpering wee shitehawk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 I would agree with Sophie Ellis Bextor, but then I saw her on Never mind the Buzzcocks. And she's alright. Now I just want to shag her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Sophie Ellis Bextor, the simpering wee shitehawk.That's an awful lot of facial surface area there. Plenty of scope for rearranging her moonface. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Jack Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 That's an awful lot of facial surface area there. Plenty of scope for rearranging her moonface.I suspect Mr Bags would see it as a target for something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 I suspect Mr Bags would see it as a target for something else.I too suspect he would like to glaze it like a danish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Cocker Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 I would agree with Sophie Ellis Bextor, but then I saw her on Never mind the Buzzcocks. And she's alright. Now I just want to shag her.Missed it. Maybe she's blossomed. I'd bend it into her maw though, her what was on Jigsaw. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Stu Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Jeremy ClarksonPiers fucking MorganSince the former actually punched the latter in the face, he's alright with me.Alan CarrJustion Lee Collins Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Greig Easton. Careful though, I hear he hits back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 I too suspect he would like to glaze it like a danish.She'd end up with a face like a plasterer's radio. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphas Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Fernando Ricksen.I'd kick his nuts so hard it would turn them into a vagina. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Greig Easton. Careful though, I hear he hits back.Ooh, mod in controversial post shocker! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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