Going On a Date

[DiscoCitizen]

I would take her to kilau, then across to the Art Centre, depending what was on.

In the evening, I'd take her on a magical trip to the moon with my mate's (he's a wizard) pet dragon, where we would eat rainbow sandwiches and dance a midnight dance with the moon elves.

Of course, normally this would be a logistical nightmare but I think I could get around it because SHE'S FUCKING IMAGINARY.

I think I went out with her, she was a right slapper......she used to tickle my prostate with a magic wand made from a Unicorn's horn, then suck me dry like a Dyson!!!

It didn't end well though.....she left me for a Centaur (well, he was hung like a horse..I couldn't compete).

Medication time!!!!!

[Lemonade]

That's the badger

A Lucky Rathen doppelganger, according to my girlfriends Mum and Grandma.

First date was seeing Knocked Up, and both looking at each other in horror after seeing a stretched fanny at the end of the film (not mine, the actress').

Laughed at that a lot more than I should have.

As for dates, I too have to plump for Kilau. Coffee is the non-commital beverage of choice. If you go early enough and it's going well you can wander into a nearby bar or restaurant to continue the evening. If it's not going well and she's more boring than hotel porn, go for a piss, text ones of your mates and get him to ring and pretend there's been an emergency so you have to leave. Then go meet your mates in Drummonds and hope you don't bump into her.

[Marillionboy]

Alternatively, if it's earlyish in the evening, a walk from the Bridge of Don, along the river, then over the Brig O' Balgownie, into Seaton Park/Old Aberdeen etc

:

I did that on a date once in Seaton Park on a lovely summer's eve and certainly had the ice broken when slightly ahead of us we saw a bunch of casuals go running over to a couple who were shagging. They had managed to make themselves pretty secluded but had been spotted. I think they tried to steal some of their clothes.The guy jumped up with a massive erection and chased them.

[Alan Cynic]

Was he going to club them to death?

A couple I know were having an intimate moment on the railway embankment at Woodside when the Inverness train went slowly past!