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Sportsmen getting twatted in the face

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Guest Gladstone

Magic.

When we were at school, we were playing baseball (or something like baseball, fuck knows what it was officially called) in P.E. outside on the playing fields.

A guy in my class bowled/pitched/whatever, and I connected with possibly the best shot of my life - I think it would have cleared all 3 football pitches - and it caught the bowler square on the forehead, and knocked him clean off his feet.

When we realised he was lying on the deck laughing rather than crying it was the funniest thing ever. Even the PE teacher was pissing himself.

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Guest idol_wild

When I was about 15 years old, I was quite the golf player, and on Saturdays my mum and sister would go shopping in town and I would be dropped off at the driving range beside Pittodrie with my trusty Mizuno 3 wood and a host of long irons to practice tee shots.

On one such Saturday, I absolutely fucking reamed a tee shot with my 3 iron, literally the hardest I've ever swung for a golf ball, but I sliced it so fucking bad that it ricocheted back off the frame of my individual booth and twatted me right in the forehead. How it never knocked me out, I'm unsure. I had a big fuck off lump on my forehead and I could see the wet outline of the golf ball (grooves included!) on the frame of the booth.

I don't play golf anymore.

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Magic.

When we were at school, we were playing baseball (or something like baseball, fuck knows what it was officially called) in P.E. outside on the playing fields.

A guy in my class bowled/pitched/whatever, and I connected with possibly the best shot of my life - I think it would have cleared all 3 football pitches - and it caught the bowler square on the forehead, and knocked him clean off his feet.

When we realised he was lying on the deck laughing rather than crying it was the funniest thing ever. Even the PE teacher was pissing himself.

Was it Rounders? Rounders was the best thing ever.

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Guest idol_wild
Was it Rounders? Rounders was the best thing ever.

It really was actually. I almost preferred playing rounders to football at school. Mainly because at our school, the girls never played football. When they played rounders and ran...well, it was just an absolutely majestic spectacle for a 13 year old boy.

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It really was actually. I almost preferred playing rounders to football at school. Mainly because at our school, the girls never played football. When they played rounders and ran...well, it was just an absolutely majestic spectacle for a 13 year old boy.

At my school the people who played football were a clique and were the guys who played football all the time. after school, then training, then a match on saturdays then training again. So someone who just wanted to play for a laugh in PE never got the ball and we all played rounders instead. we felt a certain superiority when the girls couldn't even hit the ball. Fuck aye, we were the kings.

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Guest Gladstone
Was it Rounders? Rounders was the best thing ever.

The game we were playing was certainly glorified rounders, but I think the PE teacher called it "Softball" or something. There was a bowler, a batter, with a fielder behind the batter, 3 bases to get to, then home. Yeah, it was definitely rounders, just don't think he called it that - and the ball in question looked like a baseball, but was like tennis ball size, and had just a bit of give in it - i.e. it would have hurt like fuck getting it minced off your head.

Another rounders story from my school days:

A guy in my PE class "Robin" had a terrible habit of swearing every second word. He wasn't the kind of guy to get in trouble with teachers very often at all, nothing like that. This day we had about 3 PE classes all involved in one massive game of rounders, so when you were batting it took an absolute age to wait in the queue till you got a chance to bat. Robin, having queued for ages, lined up, the ball at him, he swung, missed "Fuck". PE Teacher "Robin, 2 laps of the pitches for that little swear word". Robin skulks off, then picks up the pace, desperate to get another shot. About 20 minutes later, it's finally Robin's shot again, ball comes, swings, misses "Fuck". "Robin, 2 laps of the pitches."

Brilliant.

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We played rounders on a school trip to Strasbourg. A girl swung, missed and farted. It was caught on video and included in the 'highlights'. You can clearly hear the fart and see my mate's astonished 'she just farted, haha' look. Classic.

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The game we were playing was certainly glorified rounders, but I think the PE teacher called it "Softball" or something. There was a bowler, a batter, with a fielder behind the batter, 3 bases to get to, then home. Yeah, it was definitely rounders, just don't think he called it that - and the ball in question looked like a baseball, but was like tennis ball size, and had just a bit of give in it - i.e. it would have hurt like fuck getting it minced off your head.

Another rounders story from my school days:

A guy in my PE class "Robin" had a terrible habit of swearing every second word. He wasn't the kind of guy to get in trouble with teachers very often at all, nothing like that. This day we had about 3 PE classes all involved in one massive game of rounders, so when you were batting it took an absolute age to wait in the queue till you got a chance to bat. Robin, having queued for ages, lined up, the ball at him, he swung, missed "Fuck". PE Teacher "Robin, 2 laps of the pitches for that little swear word". Robin skulks off, then picks up the pace, desperate to get another shot. About 20 minutes later, it's finally Robin's shot again, ball comes, swings, misses "Fuck". "Robin, 2 laps of the pitches."

Brilliant.

haha, i remember being in situations like that, i hated that about games like Rounders. The worst was when you would spend your whole lesson queuing maybe having one or two good bits of the game (being so big half the class was bating the other half were standing waiting for a ball to fall from the sky). So when it finally comes your turn to bat, your well excited, your ready to bat that thing to shit, the ball's gonna catch fire when you've done your shit with it, you take a few steps forward eager as fuck, grab the bat and the teacher shouts "Alright everyone, you can go get changed now!".

Proper gutted.

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We played rounders on a school trip to Strasbourg. A girl swung, missed and farted. It was caught on video and included in the 'highlights'. You can clearly hear the fart and see my mate's astonished 'she just farted, haha' look. Classic.

This thread makes me miss school, i never thought i would miss school.

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Guest idol_wild
We played rounders on a school trip to Strasbourg. A girl swung, missed and farted. It was caught on video and included in the 'highlights'. You can clearly hear the fart and see my mate's astonished 'she just farted, haha' look. Classic.

That is spectacular. When I played for Halliburton Amateurs, I scored a goal from just inside the box, but because I exerted so much strain when I made contact with the ball, I farted at the precise time I kicked the ball.

Fart Goal.

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Guest Gladstone
We played rounders on a school trip to Strasbourg. A girl swung, missed and farted. It was caught on video and included in the 'highlights'. You can clearly hear the fart and see my mate's astonished 'she just farted, haha' look. Classic.

Names please.

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Names please.

Poor girl, she didn't live that one down for years. I'm not about to re-open the wound. Although I'm pretty sure she doesn't surf many internet forums. The mate was a fellow ginger legend.

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That is spectacular. When I played for Halliburton Amateurs, I scored a goal from just inside the box, but because I exerted so much strain when I made contact with the ball, I farted at the precise time I kicked the ball.

Fart Goal.

In some small way I'm sure the wind from the fart contributed to the goal.

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This thread makes me miss school, i never thought i would miss school.

Your misuse of "your" throughout that last post makes it seem like you missed it a bit too much.

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Your misuse of "your" throughout that last post makes it seem like you have missed it a bit too much.

Points off for improper conjugation.

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Guest Gladstone
Poor girl, she didn't live that one down for years. I'm not about to re-open the wound. Although I'm pretty sure she doesn't surf many internet forums. The mate was a fellow ginger legend.

Mair?

Give me a clue with the girl. I won't tell anyone, I'm just curious!

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Guest Gladstone
Sorry, couldn't resist.

Stop fucking about and tell me who the bird was that farted...

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