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Weird Things that I do

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I often catch myself doing very weird things when no-one else is around, not weird creepy things, just weird things. For instance, wnever I'm playing Fifa 10 and I score a goal with a certain player I have a special song that I sing for each player. Lyrics have included "Benni MaCarthy, his surname's MaCarthy" (in the style of Sonic Reducer) or "I'm Michael Essien, that's Essien" (in the style of Dissident by Pearl Jam). Other behaviour includes: absolutely having to add the numbers on a car's number plate when one passes and always draining water from a pot full of pasta outside other than in the sink (only when no-one is watching).

I also contastantly lie about really menial things like what I had for breakfast to what my favourite whisky is. Breakfast will somehow come into conversation and I'll say I had corn flakes when actually I had weetabix.

Does anyone do weird things all the time? The more mundane the funnier in my opinion.

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That's brilliant.

I do some weird things. The weirdest probably being speaking to myself. I very often catch myself having a full blown conversation with myself (but it's not really with myself - more rehearsing what I might say to someone later that day, relaying a story from earlier on or something, and I very rarely go on to speak about it later at all).

I also laugh at myself all the time. I think I'm the funniest man ever born, and make little quips to myself, then laugh at them.

I speak at the television when I'm watching football as well. Rather than just thinking my opinions of what a commentator just said or what a player did or anything, I have to say it out loud, even if there's nobody else there. And this isn't me getting worked up - just minor comments like "that was offside" "great pass" "how can you not see that?" (aimed at a blind commentator)

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I really like the volume on my TV to be a prime number, i don't stick to it because it has no reason at all to be on one except that i wan it to be, especially when it's just me and my flat mate i just ignore it, but when i'm by myself i tend to make an effort to get it on a prime number.

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For instance, wnever I'm playing Fifa 10 and I score a goal with a certain player I have a special song that I sing for each player. Lyrics have included "Benni MaCarthy, his surname's MaCarthy" (in the style of Sonic Reducer) or "I'm Michael Essien, that's Essien" (in the style of Dissident by Pearl Jam).

Danny Baker regularly speaks about stuff like this on his 5 Live show, for instance whenever the Champions League theme is played when it gets to that bit at the end that goes "Tha cham-pee-ownnnns" he has to say "league" at the end of it. And whenever anybody mentions Zidane he has to add "You're rockin' the boat."

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I really like the volume on my TV to be a prime number, i don't stick to it because it has no reason at all to be on one except that i wan it to be, especially when it's just me and my flat mate i just ignore it, but when i'm by myself i tend to make an effort to get it on a prime number.

Mine HAS to be a multiple of 5.

I have also started trying to sing country style close harmoies along with pretty much every song I listen to right now.

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I always have to put my electric guitar pickup selector switch to the correct pickup for the part I'm playing, even when it's not plugged in, does that count?

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I play drum beats with my teeth. It's very unhealthy as it's probably chipping my teeth away to bits, but in my head, when I tap my front two incisors together, it sounds like a kick drum, and when i tap my back left molars together, it sounds like a snare. I've been doing it since I was very young, and I must say, I'm fucking amazing at it now. I use a teeth shivering sort of motion to replicate drum fills.

Obviously no one else on earth can really hear this sound, so my supreme talent is completely wasted.

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Mine HAS to be a multiple of 5.
Exactly. There's no other way. 47 may be just right, but its either going to 50 and pissing everyone off or goign to 45. Cos 47 is a stupid volume.

I always flush before I finish peeing, in a sort of attempt to finish the flush and my pee at the same time. No clue why.

If anyone asks "You want some more" or a question to that affect, me, and my younger brother as well, both have to quote the robot barman from The Fifth Element and put on a stupid voice and say "Yoooooou wunt sum moar???" We can't help it.

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I play drum beats with my teeth. It's very unhealthy as it's probably chipping my teeth away to bits, but in my head, when I tap my front two incisors together, it sounds like a kick drum, and when i tap my back left molars together, it sounds like a snare. I've been doing it since I was very young, and I must say, I'm fucking amazing at it now. I use a teeth shivering sort of motion to replicate drum fills.

Obviously no one else on earth can really hear this sound, so my supreme talent is completely wasted.

I was doing that very thing as I read this thread. I do it even though my foot is already tapping to the bass drum and my fingers are tapping on the keyboard in time with the cymbals/other drums. It's reassuring to get the sound in my head.

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I was doing that very thing as I read this thread. I do it even though my foot is already tapping to the bass drum and my fingers are tapping on the keyboard in time with the cymbals/other drums. It's reassuring to get the sound in my head.

Get in! I thought I was a freak.

See you in the dentist queue!

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Everything I do must be a multiple of three. Absolutely has to be. Even totally standard mundane stuff - I cant ever kiss the wifeburd once. Clapping my hands, exactly the same. If I cough or clear my throat, it cant be seven times - gotta round up to nine etc etc etc.

When playing poker online I refuse to allow myself to react to the cards. Doesnt matter the size or significance of the pot, the likelihood of the beat or the suckout etc. Whatever happens, I cant react. Some radge spiked a 2outer on the river for a $5k pot a while ago, likewise I won a heap headsup in a massive MTT with a cruel outdraw. No reaction. Ever. I must unconsciously feel that, if I dont react, I'm minimising the luck factor. Very queer.

If I'm walking in the streets and there are street signs I have to walk under tem, between the posts. As if I'm a football headed into the goals.

O, and if I see an Orc I have to say 'fuck the Huns'.But that's standard.

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When I'm in a car I watch for things alongside which make contact with the ground (i.e. fenceposts, streetlights, other cars wheels) and when I'm passing them I lift my toes, as though they were bumps o the ground. This s particularly tough at speed.

The laughing to myself one I do too. That and shouting at the telly when there's sport on, regardless if there are people there or not. Rehearsing speeches too, for certain situations.

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I nod my head on the snare when everyone else does it on the kick. Is this normal or are I a danger to society?

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I have little competitions with other people all the time. They never know about it, so losing is utter humiliation.

For example, I race people when I'm in my car going through traffic. I'll switch lanes at the optimum time, and try and beat the car that was directly in front of me in the other lane. I do normally win these little battles, and I'm fair delighted with myself, even if it has got me home a total of 15 seconds earlier.

Same if I'm walking somewhere - I used to do a lot of walking to work etc when I lived in the city, and I would race people on the other side of the street, and try to beat them to the next corner etc.

Never a dull moment.

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O shit and I ALWAYS make an anagram out of a car reg plate. I allow myself to add in vowelsif required.

R 445 PTS becomes RAPIST etc etc etc

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I nod my head on the snare when everyone else does it on the kick. Is this normal or are I a danger to society?

I think it depends on the timing and the grooooove. I just thought of a few examples in my head, and nodded along, it certainly differs for me. It sounds confusing. I think I should just stand perfectly still at all times

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I always flush before I finish peeing, in a sort of attempt to finish the flush and my pee at the same time. No clue why.

i flush before i finish pooing, to replicate a bidet. 'if you flush before you rise then you will get a nice surprise'

also, if i mistype my email log in, i cant press backspace and retype it, i actually finish typing it wrong then hit TAB to enter my password even though i know its going to ask me again. because in my mongoloid head i deem it quicker to fire through and do it again then to press the forbidden backspace key...

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I can't walk down steps without a hand on the railing. Up is fine, but down, hand needs to be on it. Not even gripping for dear life. Just on it, like a stabliser of my balance. If I ever have to move away from the railing to pass someone on the stairs, my heart stops beating, my lungs turn into a vacuum and my pants become soiled. Kind of.

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also, if i mistype my email log in, i cant press backspace and retype it, i actually finish typing it wrong then hit TAB to enter my password even though i know its going to ask me again. because in my mongoloid head i deem it quicker to fire through and do it again then to press the forbidden backspace key...
if I mistype a password, i have to start the whole password again. even if I know it's just the last letter. I have to type the whole thing again. Cos I can't see the letters and playing lottery with my password like that is heart-attack inducing.

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I always eat Skittles in pairs with matching colours (ie, two yellows) and if it's an even number I have to eat them with a colour that is nearest the other colour (ie, yellow and green, red and purple, red and orange, never orange and purple), however, I like to eat pasta in groups of three.

I also find myself talking to myself an awful lot, not in public, but in my room, at the computer/TV. I do the sign-post thing too. I also hate when there is a stack of books somewhere, (library, misc. waiting room, etc) when the smaller-sized book is placed underneath the larger book; I rectify this and order them according to size, even with pieces of paper, or reciepts in my bag.

That's all I can think of right now.

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I've been known to wander around my house singing the song from the Bodyform adverts.

WOOOOOAAAH BODY FOOOOORRRRM, BODEH FOOOAAAARMM FAAAHHH YOOOOOU

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I also hate when there is a stack of books somewhere, (library, misc. waiting room, etc) when the smaller-sized book is placed underneath the larger book; I rectify this and order them according to size, even with pieces of paper, or reciepts in my bag.
Do you also turn them all the right way up and line up one corner of each, preferebly with the corner of the table?

:up:

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Do you also turn them all the right way up and line up one corner of each, preferebly with the corner of the table?

:up:

Well... usually there's not a table, but yes. :( It should be noted I do this with the reciepts.

Books have to be centred on top of the bottom book with the same space at each side. Though I don't use a ruler as I'm not mental or anything.

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Ace thread. I think I may be contributing a lot in the future...

I do some weird things. The weirdest probably being speaking to myself. I very often catch myself having a full blown conversation with myself (but it's not really with myself - more rehearsing what I might say to someone later that day, relaying a story from earlier on or something, and I very rarely go on to speak about it later at all).

I also laugh at myself all the time. I think I'm the funniest man ever born, and make little quips to myself, then laugh at them.

I do these too.

I also appear to have stock answers to certain questions. For example, whenever my dad asks me, "What are you looking for?"

I will respond, "Ma pants" in a Texan drawl, before saying what I'm really looking for in my normal voice.

It stems from me and him watching tv together when I was little and he was flicking through the channels. Some film was on and a woman in it said to a man, who was walking around the room in his boxers looking for something, "Whatcha lookin' for?"

"Mah pay-unts."

Never since known what the film was, but we thought it was funny at the time and it's a strange little phrase that has just stuck.

I also (may have mentioned this in Pet Hates before...) hate it when there's a plug socket on but with nothing plugged in. No matter where it is or what I'm doing, I have to switch it off if I see one.

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If the table is circular, or theres no corner that will accomodate the stack, do you place them in a pyramid, so each book is in the centre or the book below it?

:up:

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