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Loose Cannon Movie Series


Shaki

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Once the car chase scene is in the can, we'll need to discuss the hostage negotiation scene. The Commish with megaphone in hand, behind a barricade of cop cars and SWAT team at the ready. Some young pup from the west district will take a pop shot and immediately be told 'hold your fire goddamit!' , whilst negotiations commence. A lengthy stalemate will ensue then at some point Glover will be handed a walkie talkie and be told 'you really want to hear this boss.' On the other end will be Cannon, already balls deep in the Bassment/Boiler room of the Bank/Office building/Hospital preparing himself to enter the ventilation shaft.

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Once the car chase scene is in the can, we'll need to discuss the hostage negotiation scene. The Commish with megaphone in hand, behind a barricade of cop cars and SWAT team at the ready. Some young pup from the west district will take a pop shot and immediately be told 'hold your fire goddamit!' , whilst negotiations commence. A lengthy stalemate will ensue then at some point Glover will be handed a walkie talkie and be told 'you really want to hear this boss.' On the other end will be Cannon, already balls deep in the Bassment/Boiler room of the Bank/Office building/Hospital preparing himself to enter the ventilation shaft.
Fuck me, I want to shag you.
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Scene - Dark Alley.

Cannon jumps into his "standard issue racial stereotypical lowrider" and peels out. Igor's very efficient BMW tears into the alley, back end out yet somehow missing everything (dumpsters, dog, tramp, prostitute, pile of boxes). They race the alleyways, barrelling across busy roads, the gap between cars opening and closing. More and more German marques join the chase. Dump truck reverses into the alleyway. Every car bar the last one makes it through. Horrible, bloody firey death ensues.

Scene - Street.

Cannon crashes into a school bus, narrowly avoiding killing all on board. He stands feeling remorse, his lowrider is destroyed. Suddenly a bullet rips into the back of the bus right beside his head. He dives for cover and lands beside a handy motorbike that just happens to have the keys in it. The road is damp, and as expected he guns the motor a little bit too much, and the back end comes out, straightens up and the bike wobbles off. Cannon isn't at home on this bike, and it shows. Scene cuts and he is expertly weaving through the traffic. He darts right into a busy street. Ah ha, Chinatown. Third car, full of unknown henchmen, smashes headlong into a Chinese restaurant, most likely killing all inside. Cannon doesn't have time to care, he is memorised by the sea of very similar faces whipping by. He quips about them "all looking the same" to himself. Mistake. His concentration broken, he narrowly avoids hitting Street Vendor Number 1 (Jackie Chan cameo). Street Vendor Number 1 is not happy and swears loudly. Cannon

Scene - Interstate heading out of town.

Cannon is tiring, and his driving shows it. Close up shots show him wobbling about like Bambi, whereas wide shots, he rides like a pro. Someone should tell that stunt rider. Bastard. Evil henchman swerves out to overtake, over cooks it, and ends up on two wheels. After a mile of wrestling his car, he rights it again. Cut to shot of Cannon scowling into the rear view mirror filmed from behind. Cut to henchman laughing. Cut to Cannon looking shocked. Cut to henchman hitting water butt and flying through windscreen. Cut to Cannon grimacing, then laughing. No-one fucks with Cannon. Cut to fuel gauge - empty. "Dayyyyyymn"

Scene - Interstate Rest Stop.

Cannon pulls into parking lot and skids to a halt. He spots a car and runs over. Random Hero appears (Bruce Willis in a white vest, shot in the leg and bleeding heavily from his shoulder), they scowl at each other, shrug their shoulders, and Cannon jumps in, driving off. Random Hero shoots the fuel tank of the last henchmans car and it explodes. Yippee ki-yay Motherfucker. Cut.

Scene - Snowy Mountain Road.

Cannon made a poor car choice, this thing isn't going anywhere, and Igor is gaining. Mile after mile of close calls on sharp bends with steep drop-offs at one side. Oh oh, truck coming towards them, cars go either side of the truck. Igor swerves back, over does it and ends up in a flat spin. One slight nudge from Cannon's car door, and the car goes over the edge. Large fireball rushes up from the valley floor. Cannon is out of his car, looks over the end of the drop, laughs to himself then turns and gets back in his car. After he has driven off the camera pans down to the car. The door bursts open, and Igor crawls out.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN

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The feeling's mutual. Believe it or not, i've actually met u a couple of times. At least I think it was you. Do you by any chance remember an incident in Drummonds involving a guy getting his nose bust open by some yob completely out of the blue? blood everywhere.
Yes. I know exactly the incident you're talking about. I do believe I stood in. I think.
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Yes. I know exactly the incident you're talking about. I do believe I stood in. I think.

Yeah, you did. I can't remember if i got the chance to properly say cheers... so cheers. I was the flustered barman who didn't know whether to mop up the blood or call the police first. I think I gave you a free pint after though. Nae a fine thing to happen when you're working on your own.

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Yeah, you did. I can't remember if i got the chance to properly say cheers... so cheers. I was the flustered barman who didn't know whether to mop up the blood or call the police first. I think I gave you a free pint after though. Nae a fine thing to happen when you're working on your own.
Ah, cool. Aye, it wasn't exactly a fine sight. You did give me a free pint. In fact, I think I got 2. I was well chuffed. I felt like Superman.
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Ah, cool. Aye, it wasn't exactly a fine sight. You did give me a free pint. In fact, I think I got 2. I was well chuffed. I felt like Superman.

We can fit you in if Willis is unavailable for the above scene. Otherwise a cameo as concerned passer-by will be written in.

I'd like to continue this but my girlfriend is asking what I'm doing and I'd have a hard time justifying this as more important than going to the shops to buy sprouts....even though it obviously is.

Have a (Cannon)ball this Christmas, stay loose!

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I think I'm going to have to be in this film. I'm not wanting a big part but wouldn't mind some speaking.

Choose from the following bit-part pieces of dialogue:

You : "I've been shot, I'm bleeding bad"

Cannon : "Don't you die on me buddy, I'mma get you outta here"

You : (upon seeing Cannon's artillery) "What the...?"

Cannon : "It's showtime!"

Cannon : What's that in the background?

You : "Well if I zoom in and enhance the pixels..."

Cannon : "That sneaky mutha fucka"

You : "What is it Cannon?"

(Cannon grabs his coat and leaves the crime lab immediately without telling anyone what clue to the whereabouts of the kidnapped girl he's managed to figure out from the pixelated image)

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Can I get a bit part as the residnet bafly that gives Cannon some drunken advice, which helps him solve the whole debacle. Filmed on location in The Moorings please, that way I don't have too much work to do.

Yes, an excellent opportunity to squeeze in some Hedburg one-liners.

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Choose from the following bit-part pieces of dialogue:

You : "I've been shot, I'm bleeding bad"

Cannon : "Don't you die on me buddy, I'mma get you outta here"

You : (upon seeing Cannon's artillery) "What the...?"

Cannon : "It's showtime!"

Cannon : What's that in the background?

You : "Well if I zoom in and enhance the pixels..."

Cannon : "That sneaky mutha fucka"

You : "What is it Cannon?"

(Cannon grabs his coat and leaves the crime lab immediately without telling anyone what clue to the whereabouts of the kidnapped girl he's managed to figure out from the pixelated image)

I'll take the 3rd option.

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