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Guest idol_wild

Football Chants

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Guest idol_wild

Inspired by a couple of posts by cap'n euan on the Lady Gaga thread, I've decided to start this thread. What are the best football chants you've ever heard? As a former Aberdeen diehard, I witnessed some absolutely classic chants - the Aberdeen fans can be quite creative sometimes.

Once, at St Johnstone (I think it may have been the game that Arild Stavrum made his debut), the Dons fans got so fucking bored of the usual pish that Aberdeen and St Johnstone were churning out, that they started to amuse themselves. Upon finding a guy with big black shoes, jeans and white socks, a chorus of "Nice shoes, white socks" (to the same tune used for "Same old Rangers, always cheating") rung out around the away fans. The guy had no fucking idea what to do or where to look.

Also, my friend Alan inspired the chant "Rather shag a sheep than Mrs Mols". It was at Iprix, about 3 days after snaps of Michael Mols with his, ahem, modestly attractive wife appeared in the media, and some Aberdeen fans were shouting at Mols about the ungainly appearance of his wife and my mate Alan bellowed out: "I'd rather shag a sheep than Mols' wife!", so everyone around us starting singing it. Naturally, Mols went on to score the winner, but still. It was almost worth it.

And the original chant maintained the Mols' wife part. It was the dirty minks from Parkhead that changed it to Mrs Mols. Fucking cunts.

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What i like about the chant 'by far the greatest team, the world has ever seen' is not only the fact you are saying you are the best team, but the best team that has ever been...ever. Genius. Also, tonight i heard the song 'You Are My Sunshine', which made me think of the old Aberdeen chant 'You are my Solberg, my Thomas Solberg'.

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Guest Gladstone

There's only one Mrs Mols

We're sure she's got balls

Her face is so scary

Her arse is so hairy

(and I can never remember the last line...)

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Two of my favourites:

"Oh I'd rather be a brush than a comb" - Sung to the then Dundee Utd goalkeeper Alan Combe

"Woooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh Tem-u-ri Kets-bai-a" Anorthosis Famagusta fans singing about their (now ex) manager, to the tune of Sex is on Fire.

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"You are a weegie, a fucking weegie,

You're only happy when skies are grey,

Your ma's a stealer

Your da's a dealer

Oh please don't take my hub caps away"

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I remember the white socks chant as 'White socks, black shoes,' which got sung for a brief period whenever we played a team playing in, funnily enough, white socks.

Not so much a chant but I remember a nutter I used to sit next to who had a funny turn of phrase when insulting players. I believe Derek Whyte once got described as a 'spasticated jellyfish.' He also managed to rhyme 'De Boer' with 'hairy hoor.' Lovely chap too.

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"You put your left leg in,

You put your left leg out,

You put your left leg in,

And you shake it all about,

You do the Ameobi and you turn around,

That's what it's all about!

Ohhhhhh, Shola Ameobi, etc..."

"If Shola scores, we're on the pitch," was a personal favourite of mine, although it's not really viable anymore because he looks reasonably prolific at this level. "Noel Whelan" to the tune of that 2 Unlimited song was class, and "Lovell tear you apart."

"Your support is fucking shit," has got to be the worst chant ever though. Just stop.

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Guest Gladstone

"You only sing when you're winning"

But only when sang by a bunch of Germans at Pittodrie. Comedy moment.

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I get very embarrased when the Newmarket Road end sing that 'by far the greatest team the world has ever seen' nonsense at the Abbey. Thankfully doesnt happen too often!!

my fave is one the Bristol City fans used to sing at Ashton Gate, they may even still sing it but havent been to a game there in nearly 20 years. I lived in Bristol for a few months in the late 80's and went to see a few games there including a memorable tanking of Chelsea in the FA Cup! Ironic really they got knocked out by Cambridge in the next round! 5-0 after two draws!

Anyways...

drink up thy cider

drink up thy cider

for tonight she'll marry me

we're going down to rovers

to turn the twerton over

and there's still more cider in me jug

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Wirelessly posted (LG-GC900/V10a Obigo/WAP2.0 Profile/MIDP-2.1 Configuration/CLDC-1.1)

I've always liked 'did you all come in a taxi'. I was quite impressed with 'the wheels on your house go round and round' sung at Livi fans a few years ago.

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Wirelessly posted (LG-GC900/V10a Obigo/WAP2.0 Profile/MIDP-2.1 Configuration/CLDC-1.1)

Oh and you can't beat a rousing chorus of 'bring back my stereo' aimed at Scumdee united's fans!

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Posted this a few weeks ago in some thread or other, but I love it:

(To the tune of Rebel Rebel by David Bowie)

Neville, Neville, he plays in defence

Neville, Neville, his tackling's immense

Neville, Neville, like Jacko he's bad

Neville Neville is the name of his dad

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Mark Viduka

Yer Ma's a fuckin' hooker

Mark Viduka

You're a horses arse

Put a fez on your head

You could be Belabed or Zerouali

If you pick up some shite

You could be Derek Whyte or Mark Perry...

Dundee is a shithole

Dundee is a shithole

Na naaana na

Na naaana na

Also particularly enjoyed the RDS at Pittodrie to a man standing and chanting;

Aaaaamoruso *clap-clap*

Aaaaamoruso *clap-clap*

<repeat>

...as Lorenzo was lining up a free kick towards that end in what was probably his last season at Rangers. Thankfully his shot was truly awful and our taunting was more than justified.

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it's not inventive and it's not really funny but I took great pleasure in starting the THERE'S ONLY ONNNNEE, IRVINE MEDOW!!!! chant on Saturday at 3.30pm when news or the Smokies demise filtered through!

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Guest Gladstone

I quite like the:

"You're in the wrong fucking country" chant that gets regularly directed at Celtic...

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Your father is your brother

Your sister is your mother

You all shag one another

The Barnsley Family

Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh. Clap Clap.

I'm sure alot of teams have used this one, but it's certainly a favourite. We don't really hate Barnsley that much. Leeds wasn't enough syllables, and Sheffield United was too many.

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I know I've mentioned this one before but I like it so much it's worth repeating:

LEEDS, LEEDS, LEEDS, LEEDS, LEEDS, LEEDS, LEEDS, LEEDS.

Best one I heard at my time going to see the 'boro was during a 5-1 demolition of Bolton when Sam Allardyce was still there - "moan on the telly, he's gonna moan on the telly, moan on the teeelllyyyy, he's gonna moan on the telly."

I don't remember hearing the poggy/aliadiere ones that euan mentioned on the lady gaga post during the 07/08 season when I went to most games, I don't think our fellow 'boro fans are that inventive.

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I know I've mentioned this one before but I like it so much it's worth repeating:

LEEDS, LEEDS, LEEDS, LEEDS, LEEDS, LEEDS, LEEDS, LEEDS.

Best one I heard at my time going to see the 'boro was during a 5-1 demolition of Bolton when Sam Allardyce was still there - "moan on the telly, he's gonna moan on the telly, moan on the teeelllyyyy, he's gonna moan on the telly."

I don't remember hearing the poggy/aliadiere ones that euan mentioned on the lady gaga post during the 07/08 season when I went to most games, I don't think our fellow 'boro fans are that inventive.

The Pogatetz one wouldn't have been sung in the 07/08 season since Poker Face didn't come out until 2009.....

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I reckon this one is more than worthy of gracing my 2,000th post.

In the town where I was born,

Lived a man who sailed the sea

And he bought a club called Hearts,

And he brought them to their knees

Yooooooou're going down like a Russian submarine!

A Russian submarine!

A Russian submarine!

"Kingston is a racist", directed at Laryea Kingston is a personal favourite of mine.

"Shall we poach an egg for you?" at Ibrox, days after Kirk Broadfoot's egg-on-face-skin-no-longer-on-face incident brought a smile to my bitter features.

There's plenty others but I'd be willing to bet that some of you miserable cunts would run and tell the Daily Record on me if I posted them.

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