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Randy Watson 101

Sick to the back teeth of students that have never had a proper job in their lives

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THAT'S TO ALL YOU, YOU TRENDY LEFTIE NUMPTIES

Where can I start? Reading the Daily Express (Daily Mail coverage of our beloved Princess Diana is below-par and quite frankly shocking) the other day, it occured to me that immigrants and students seem to be plotting to rid the world of our upstanding, hard-working silent majority. It seems that the only national pride we have is in the form of our wonderful honourable member William Hague, surely the last of the Young Conservatives.

Our only hope for our children (for goodness sake, will someone PLEASE think of the brainwashed children, exposed to smut and filth at such a young age) is an upper-middle class hero, David Cameron. I forgive him for his middle class roots, though it is the UPPER classes that have the right to rule. No scummy sons or daughters of taxi drivers or joiners. After all, Our Mother Lady Thatcher was the daughter of a alderman, not some tinky grocer. Don't get me started on those godawful people who have the gall to call themselves working class. They are all underclass to me. Surely the nation's pride, the Queen Mother, was of questionable authority when she declared her support for the striking miners in the 1980s?

It is my firm belief that the governments of Tony B-liar and John Major-in-nothing-because-he-was-born-in-the-cesspit-they-call-Brixton reduced the Royal Family to multicultural, prole-loving, Guardian-reading trendies who are quick to correct Prince Philip's righteous ways.

In short, this is a diatribe, an up-yours, to all you tabloid snobs out there. I don't need a broadsheet to prove my intellect. That's what my bank balance and rolling acres of land are for.

Dare you disagree with me?

P.S. Yours Truly,

Viscount Andrew Heathcoat Amory Watson,

Baron of Orrock House,

Balmedie

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There you go with the sexual references again! I know it's a first but He Upstairs, after all, I am a God-fearing man, tells me you make these comments regularly.

And I wish you would stop expressing the desire to tinkle with my horse-faced, perfectly proportioned children...

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horribly unfunny thread...please close

C- - - wouldn't read again

If you yourself tried your hand at right-wing satire, and made a better job of it than I did, I would salute you. Instead you criticise yet can't be bothered doing better job yourself, if indeed you capable of pulling off a better job that is. I did it for a laugh, and I knew at least some would take it seriously. So in a way I got what I wanted: I wound someone up.

My premise was that this place is full of people that are left-wing for the sake of it - and I'd be surprised if I was wrong. And if you think I know nothing about left-wing politics; the history of the trade union movement and working/lower middle class self-education, you better think again. Not all people who lean to the right are populist pricks.

'Capitalism crumbles...'? I'd love a socialist society, but we'd have to disinherit the principle of money and profit as we know it, otherwise we'd end up more bankrupt than we already are. Simplistic, but probably true.

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If you yourself tried your hand at right-wing satire, and made a better job of it than I did, I would salute you. Instead you criticise yet can't be bothered doing better job yourself, if indeed you capable of pulling off a better job that is. I did it for a laugh, and I knew at least some would take it seriously. So in a way I got what I wanted: I wound someone up.

My premise was that this place is full of people that are left-wing for the sake of it - and I'd be surprised if I was wrong. And if you think I know nothing about left-wing politics; the history of the trade union movement and working/lower middle class self-education, you better think again. Not all people who lean to the right are populist pricks.

'Capitalism crumbles...'? I'd love a socialist society, but we'd have to disinherit the principle of money and profit as we know it, otherwise we'd end up more bankrupt than we already are. Simplistic, but probably true.

Holy Jesus.

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If you yourself tried your hand at right-wing satire, and made a better job of it than I did, I would salute you. Instead you criticise yet can't be bothered doing better job yourself, if indeed you capable of pulling off a better job that is. I did it for a laugh, and I knew at least some would take it seriously. So in a way I got what I wanted: I wound someone up.

My premise was that this place is full of people that are left-wing for the sake of it - and I'd be surprised if I was wrong. And if you think I know nothing about left-wing politics; the history of the trade union movement and working/lower middle class self-education, you better think again. Not all people who lean to the right are populist pricks.

'Capitalism crumbles...'? I'd love a socialist society, but we'd have to disinherit the principle of money and profit as we know it, otherwise we'd end up more bankrupt than we already are. Simplistic, but probably true.

I think you do earnest better than satirical.

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