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Ridiculous stuff that happened at school


Soda Jerk

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There was a guy in my class at primary who was known as the gay guy in the class. I've got no idea how he was cursed with that reputation, because he didn't seem even slightly gay, he wasn't camp or girlish or anything, he was a big, tall, strong guy, good at sports, he just got tarred with the gay brush somehow.

Anyway, of course whenever we went into a different class, like music or art or whatever, or even just for lunch, NOBODY wanted to sit next him cos he was the gay guy, so of course the seat next to him would be the last one left available. You'd have two guys actually physically fighting to get on to the second last seat so they didn't have to go and be "poofed up". Because of course for the rest of the day the person that was sitting next to him had somehow "caught the gay" and nobody would talk to him.

This has nothing to do with the story above, but it's funny enough to warrant inclusion: later in life (in secondary school aged around 14/15), a story started circulating that he had invited another classmate round to his house. They were sitting in the basement of his house when the "gay guy" intentionally shit his pants, and then stripped completely naked and chased this other kid all around his house, naked, with his shitty pants in his hand (he had pre-empted him trying to escape and had locked all the doors). He then went out to the garage and sprayed deodorant all over the turd and set it on fire. This was actually told to me by the guy who had been chased around the house. Fucked up.

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Similiar to the arse fingering above, there was a girl at my school who got teased a bit at primary school, for no real reason cos there was nothing wrong with her, but kids will be kids and she was the butt of some pretty harmless jokes. As time progressed and we got to secondary the teasing had turned to bullying. Then a story started about her and the only other girl in school who was actually friends with her, that they were lesbians and that they had been caught in the bathroom of her house, one of them with their leg up on the bath and the other one fingerbanging her - by her mother (kids don't have enough cynicism - for a start how would this story get out?)

Anyway because of this she started getting really really badly bullied, like gangs of 20 girls kicking shit of her every day. She ended up transferring to a different school to get away from it.

Last I heard of her she was a stripper in Bugsy Browns. Now I'm no psychologist, but....

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There was a guy in my class at primary who was known as the gay guy in the class. I've got no idea how he was cursed with that reputation, because he didn't seem even slightly gay, he wasn't camp or girlish or anything, he was a big, tall, strong guy, good at sports, he just got tarred with the gay brush somehow.

Anyway, of course whenever we went into a different class, like music or art or whatever, or even just for lunch, NOBODY wanted to sit next him cos he was the gay guy, so of course the seat next to him would be the last one left available. You'd have two guys actually physically fighting to get on to the second last seat so they didn't have to go and be "poofed up". Because of course for the rest of the day the person that was sitting next to him had somehow "caught the gay" and nobody would talk to him.

This has nothing to do with the story above, but it's funny enough to warrant inclusion: later in life (in secondary school aged around 14/15), a story started circulating that he had invited another classmate round to his house. They were sitting in the basement of his house when the "gay guy" intentionally shit his pants, and then stripped completely naked and chased this other kid all around his house, naked, with his shitty pants in his hand (he had pre-empted him trying to escape and had locked all the doors). He then went out to the garage and sprayed deodorant all over the turd and set it on fire. This was actually told to me by the guy who had been chased around the house. Fucked up.

To be honest the second story was probably partly caused by the first. That kind of shit is bound to screw someone up later in life.

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Guest idol_wild
:love: gotta love some kinky shit!*

* this post should not be taken at all serious. It is meant as a piss take

"love", "kinky", "shit" and "piss" all in the same post.

Kinky bitch.

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When I was in primary school (well, middle school as it was down in Englandshire), the biggest nutter in the school who was a couple of years older than me, saved up a massive shit and then locked himself in one of the cubicles in the boys toilets. He proceeded to start emptying his bowels.

However, mid turd he stood on the toilet and climbed into the adjacent cubicle (I'm guessing he momentarily contracted his sphincter and held it in for a bit, rather than literally mid turd). He then continued to shit in that toilet. He repeated this action for the final two cubicles, before standing on the final toilet seat and climbing out over the door.

Basically all 4 toilets were full of shit, not flushed, with the doors locked. It absolutely reeked. Took the janitor ages to get in, in fact, i think they had to break down a door eventually.

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When I was in primary school (well, middle school as it was down in Englandshire), the biggest nutter in the school who was a couple of years older than me, saved up a massive shit and then locked himself in one of the cubicles in the boys toilets. He proceeded to start emptying his bowels.

However, mid turd he stood on the toilet and climbed into the adjacent cubicle (I'm guessing he momentarily contracted his sphincter and held it in for a bit, rather than literally mid turd). He then continued to shit in that toilet. He repeated this action for the final two cubicles, before standing on the final toilet seat and climbing out over the door.

Basically all 4 toilets were full of shit, not flushed, with the doors locked. It absolutely reeked. Took the janitor ages to get in, in fact, i think they had to break down a door eventually.

I thought 20p coins opened every school toilet door in the universe

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I was unfortunate enough to go to school in Kirkcaldy so there was always plenty of fights to watch. A particular favourite of mine was this weird guy in sixth year who seemed to enjoy bullying pupils younger than him. He had it in for this kid in third year and tried to pick a fight with him one lunchtime. He started it by trying some sort of wrestling move where he jumped and leaned back to try and scissor the young boys head with his legs and drag him onto the ground. However he missed, landed awkwardly and dislocated his shoulder. To make matters worse, the third year then proceeded to give him a right shoeing.

One nil to the little people!

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we had the exact same thing, god i totaly forgot about that until i read ur post, ah the willy poker, it got even worse when i was in p7 i had to do tables practically all the time on the acount of me being alot larger than everyone else in my class and the only effective way of pulling these tables across the hall was by the "willy poker" and p3's and 4's used to walk by the hall and shout "HE'S GRABBING THE WILLY POKER!!!!" used to fucking hate that

portlethen, si?

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Did you go to Oldie?

I was going to say that one, but thought that was just common knowledge, not just Oldie.

Yep, I went to Oldie. It was the same in my Primary School (Greenbrae) as well though. Rumour has it that a guy everyone hated once pissed in the middle urinal. Thus making this action "gay". You may have known him, he would have been 2 years younger than you in school, a year older than me.

Also, some fairly rediculous shit was done to a teacher called Mr Milton, Teabags will no doubt remember this.

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When I was a nipper, we were well behaved.

balls, i dont believe that for a minute, i bet you used to go into the toilets, wet some paper towels and plaster them to the roof

I went to Portlethen and don't remember the Willy Poker.

ill draw you a picture :up:

EDIT: a google search for "willy poker" did not go well :( should have at least put the safe search on

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I think givemeasmile should tell everyone about the website he made with his friends about the school and got suspended over. Go on Daryl..

Pretty sure this is truth:

Not my year, few years younger, a guy was in RE class when he decided that he had a better video to show rather than whatever the teacher had left on when he left the room.Puts on a video and its two folk shagging, not any two folk, his mum and dad.

I would love it if you told me this was Nathan Brown.

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wet playtimes what a cunt at primary school, loked up all day and they wont let you out cause its wet. anyways the younger half of the school would get shoved into the music room, they would wheel in the old vhs player and god awful tellys on one of those weird brown trolleys, they would take at last 10 minutes to get the thing on. they would plug it in and put the tape in, they couldnt find the channel, then they discover the rf lead is missing, so trying to sit still arms folded legs crossed, they come in get the channel on.. yay finally! but the tape needs rewound, so instead of stopping and rewinding the would just rewind through the playing vid (you know when you still see the picture) Once it was working we got like 10 mins of vid then back to class pfft the whole time you just wish you could go set up the vid yourself

music class in primary, used to get chime bars those single notes from xylophones, the teacher always said dont play it untill i tell you, kids being kids, one of would strike our bar, the teacher would fly round knowing exactly who played it

HECTOR! i told you not to play the chime bars!

wasnae me

YES IT WAS I GAVE YOU THE C#!!

lolz

remember indian bells in music? two blls with a tread, also those two round wooden battons you'd clunk together WOW!

rememer one time i asked to go to the toiled, was a massive shit so taking my time, the lunch bell went as i was making my way back to class. went through pair of double swing doors just as i noticed a fat 1st year running towards the dinner hall like he hadnt eaten for days, I knocked the latch at the bottom of the closed door with my foot which bolted the door still, i casually made my way down the corridorr as he scampered past, BOOM! turns round, theres the cunt lying on his back howling. he ran clean into hit thinking it would open, blootering his head full force off the door. hahaha

never found out it was me

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at primary school when i was about p6, this p2 or p3 girl tried to get inside to go to the toilet but the women that gaurded the playground wouldnt let her so she went into the corner of the playing field and had a shit on the grass. I kid you not, right there on the grass

legend

If I could rep the girl I would but I guess you'll have to do!

AHAHAAHHAHA fucking pissing myself

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I'll tell you one thing ridiculous thing that happened at primary school.

When you'd ask to go to the toilet and you were told "You should've gone at break time".

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise my bladder was set by the bell.

I countered this one day in p7 by stating that if I damaged my bladder by holding it in I'd hold the teacher responsible and sue him. Worked a treat.

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