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Michael Jackson RIP


ca_gere

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You just read in a paper, but won't tell us what the paper was?

What's the point?

Dan - wasn't the body being taken into the chopper from the hospital to elsewhere? I thought the footage from the chopper with the body covered up was of him being taken somewhere for the post mortem...unless I'm wrong?

I read it in the sun lol...You happy now yu have forced my hand to admit i read the sun for all my 100% factual evidence? ;)

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I see Frankie Boyle has quit his Daily Record columnist job over a disagreement with his latest submission...

From his mailing list -

-----

Oh dear. Had to quit my Daily Record column over a moral disagreement. We disagreed over whether it was ok to make jokes about a dead child molestor. Here is the whole column, big love my niggers, Frankie x

-----

So the Michael Jackson roller coaster has stopped. Looks like he got enough.

Apparently he died after walking into a pub in Paisley and saying Do you wanna be starting something? We can all learn something from Michaels life. For example, it looks like oxygen tents are a big waste of money.

Why did no one pick up on it when he had shown all the signs of a heart attack? Wheezing noises, jerking of the arms, ashen complexion? I suppose to be fair he has been showing all those symptoms since the mid eighties. Had Jacksons staff noticed something was wrong earlier he might have been saved, but when they saw him grab his left arm, go stiff and yelp they just thought he was practising his moves for Beat It. Its not known what triggered the heart attack, but High School Musical 3 was on cable at the time. In many ways he was a tragic figure. Lets be honest, he had more personal issues than Batman.Who could have imagined that the monster he transformed into in Thriller would look less weird than what he transformed into in real life? Its got to be a tossup whether he get cremated or recycled. His postmortem will look like the Roswell autopsy.

I was a big Michael Jackson fan when I was 8. I didn't know it at the time, but I was his 'type.'

For his London concerts Michael Jackson advertised for children in wheelchairs or with missing legs! What parent would agree to that? Look what happened with kids who could run away! Those tickets sold out in minutes. An interesting attitude we have to paedophilia in this country, We dont want paedophiles round here! Unless theyve really worked on their choreography...

He was a legend and his funeral will be amazing. Ironically the funeral will be the first time in years his children havent been forced to wear veils.With the amount of money the concert tickets have made I wouldnt be surprised if they still wheeled him on. It would add an interesting touch to Ill Be There. Michael Jackson was apparently refusing to eat ahead of his O2 gigs. He now weighed less than nine stone and the only thing he would eat willingly was nachos. Nachos being the name of a young Mexican boy. Its said that Jackson had developed a phobia about being fat. Not like him to worry about his looks. Apparently when the news broke Jacksons father rushed straight to the hospital, just to check if the medics needed a hand with beating Michaels chest.

Jacksons family said they were moved to see that the hospital staff were all wearing black. Actually, they were all wearing white as usual, but that family had always had a little trouble admitting the difference. The man may be gone but he has left a musical legacy that will be around for hundreds of years. As will his face.

Murraymania has hit Wimbledon with millions convinced that Andy Murray has what it takes to become the first British male for a long time to be knocked out in the final. Murray could be Wimbledon if he just the right breaks, like one to Roger Federers ankle. This year Murray is desperately trying to convince the crowd hes British. Then he pumped that up by winning. Nine Brits were beaten on the first day. Mind you, they all turned up with snooker cues.

The Lawn Tennis Association says the eighty million pound roof over Centre Court will improve British tennis. Really? Theyre attaching a noose? Visitors to Wimbledon have been paying 20 a day to park on a graveyard. It only came to light after the families of deceased relatives complained about having to lay flowers on a BMW.What sort of person would think its acceptable to park their 4x4 on top of someones grave. Oh yes, the sort of person that owns a 4x4.I love Wimbledon. Its the only time I get to watch women in short skirts grunting and sweating without night vision goggles. I really enjoy all that grunting. My neighbours keep banging on the wall to get me to stop.

The BBC has published its expenses. They also claimed for chandeliers, moats and large houses. To be fair, it was for Pride and Prejudice.' They claimed thousands of pounds for entertaining.Its a disgrace. The BBC hasnt done that for years.Deputy Director Mark Byford charged licence fee payers 4.99 for a book of the history of QPR football club. And a thousand on a divorce lawyer when he gave it to his wife for Christmas. 1,137 was spent on a knighthood dinner for Terry Wogan. And its the last time they take him to Pizza Hut and say, Order anything you like.

The BNP may be sued for refusing membership to non whites.The BNP say they welcome minorities as card carrying members. The cards say pump off home. I look forward to Nick Griffin holding minority awareness workshops and playing God Save The Queen on steel drums.

London Underground is using quotes from Ghandi on the Tube. I saw the film and I dont remember him saying, Theres a body on the line at Marble Arch. They use other famous quotes too but the one from the Koran emptied the train.

The Scottish National Library banned the Saltire flag for being racist. There are racist librarians? Knitting a cardigan with a swastika in it must be a nightmare. Id love to see them march. What do we want? Sssshh!

A ghost town that was built in Argyll but then abandoned to the wild is to be demolished because it lies crumbling and derelict. Its a shame because theres some great scenery around Greenock.

A male stripper, known as Sergeant Eros, has been convicted of impersonating a police officer and pulling over other drivers using flashing lights on his car. He pulled over several female drivers but they quickly realised he wasnt a policemen when he didnt expose his genitals.

Twenty-two people in the UK have donated a kidney to a stranger. Its just a shame that many of the strangers were German cannibals.

Sir Ranulph Fienness wife says that he cant read a map. Getting to the South Pole unassisted is even more impressive as it turns out hed only gone out to buy some fags.

I reckon the rights to broadcast Scottish football next year could be picked up by anyone with a few empty Irn Bru bottles and a camcorder. So thats STV out of the running.

Scientists have found that Botox can make hair re-grow, but women that have had injections in their forehead dont need to worry. People will still be unable to see your frown lines, because theyll be hidden behind all that lovely forehead hair.

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...or you know, they might be upset when you......erm....you know.

I'm hoping the family logevity genes haven't been too damaged by my lifestyle!

However I did get my g/f a tad worried before our gig at the Tunnels on Monday by letting her feel the bizarre palpitations my heart was making, so maybe I'll join Jacko and Farrah soon :up:

How about this for the gravestone..

"Here lies Alan Cynic, he wasn't very good

He tried sex, drugs and rock'n'roll

but much preferred his food"

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Just a thought... Didn't MJ say at some point he wanted to get cryogenically frozen when he died?

EDIT: A quick search came up with this : Michael jackson set to be plastinated

surely not true, that would be pretty fucked up.

Also, I like the way they describe how it's too late for him to be frozen because it must be done immediately after death, as if it's a tried and tested scientific process.

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Guest davetherave

Mj

Personally I dont give a rats ass about wackos death, but what really pisses me off is the public outpouring (mostly american) of grief and flowers, much open wailing, etc! Then theres the endless run of wacko jacko documentaries and music being played on radio stations! Would people have had the same reaction if he'd been found guilty of his crimes?

o_O

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Personally I dont give a rats ass about wackos death, but what really pisses me off is the public outpouring (mostly american) of grief and flowers, much open wailing, etc! Then theres the endless run of wacko jacko documentaries and music being played on radio stations! Would people have had the same reaction if he'd been found guilty of his crimes?

o_O

Likewise, couldn't give a tin shit about it myself and the recreational grievers are in full hand-wringing flight. Thank fuck I don't listen to the radio.

These folk need to get themselves a life, and if their next-door neighbour had been suspected of half the shit he was accused of, there would have been a baying lynch-mob in no time at all...

Not :up:

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