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DJ Jo-D

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I'm not a fan of Twinkies, it's my missus that loves 'em. I do enjoy a Tootsie roll though, and I love Peanut Butter Cups, and Hershey Cookie & Chocolate bars. Not Cookie & Cream though. Never Cookie & Cream. Also hershey Kiss bars are great, but the indivudally wrapped Kisses you get in a bag ain't so good.

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I just don't know what Twinkies are supposed to be. It's completely 100% artificial, but tries to be some sort of baked goods. That cream in the middle is foul. Hideous stuff.

Jolly Ranchers are my favourite. We used to get them over here, back when no one really gave a shit about carbohydrates. They are glorious, and last for ages because they are impossible to chew unless you want to smash your teeth into dust. Perhaps it wasn't the carbs, but the dentist bills that killed them off. What are you chomping hard boiled sweets for anyway? Stupid children. Sweets aren't for kids. They don't understand them.

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The big Tesco at Danestone have an aisle of foreign stuff, they were selling US jellybeans Ike and Mike or something. Damn tasty.

Yeah, I got some "Kool Aid" from the weird foreign aisle. I thought it was going to be just like normal diluting juice, but it's actually a tub of powder you dissolve in water. Again, it's fucking hideous.

British brands like to go out of their way to advertise things as having no artificial colours and flavourings. Kool Aid has got ARTIFICAL FLAVOUR branded across the top in bold letters. Nice one. They might as well print "DRINK ME AND DIE YOUNG" all over it too, considering all the sugar and shite that is in it.

Don't buy Kool Aid.

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I agree with you about Jolly Ranchers Joe. Back in the day when I was about 8, I used to love a packet of them washed down with plenty of Mountain Dew. This no doubt prompted me to run about outside for a good 8 or 9 hours...

It was Push-Pops that drove me to run and leap around. I ate one once and then somehow had the energy to climb a tree, and I was shit at climbing trees. Then the sugar wore off when I was somewhere near the middle. I cried until the window cleaner from down the road came with his ladder and got me down.

Childhood? No, this was last Thursday.

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Yeah, I got some "Kool Aid" from the weird foreign aisle. I thought it was going to be just like normal diluting juice, but it's actually a tub of powder you dissolve in water. Again, it's fucking hideous.

British brands like to go out of their way to advertise things as having no artificial colours and flavourings. Kool Aid has got ARTIFICAL FLAVOUR branded across the top in bold letters. Nice one. They might as well print "DRINK ME AND DIE YOUNG" all over it too, considering all the sugar and shite that is in it.

Don't buy Kool Aid.

You should definitely make up a batch for the next Friday-night-football. I would definitely make it along.

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Yeah, I got some "Kool Aid" from the weird foreign aisle. I thought it was going to be just like normal diluting juice, but it's actually a tub of powder you dissolve in water. Again, it's fucking hideous.

British brands like to go out of their way to advertise things as having no artificial colours and flavourings. Kool Aid has got ARTIFICAL FLAVOUR branded across the top in bold letters. Nice one. They might as well print "DRINK ME AND DIE YOUNG" all over it too, considering all the sugar and shite that is in it.

Don't buy Kool Aid.

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Yeah, I got some "Kool Aid" from the weird foreign aisle. I thought it was going to be just like normal diluting juice, but it's actually a tub of powder you dissolve in water. Again, it's fucking hideous.

British brands like to go out of their way to advertise things as having no artificial colours and flavourings. Kool Aid has got ARTIFICAL FLAVOUR branded across the top in bold letters. Nice one. They might as well print "DRINK ME AND DIE YOUNG" all over it too, considering all the sugar and shite that is in it.

Don't buy Kool Aid.

Original Yank powerade used to be like that. My friend used to get some off his american relatives.

It was pretty good as I remember it, the blue stuff the same as we get here now.

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I just don't know what Twinkies are supposed to be. It's completely 100% artificial, but tries to be some sort of baked goods. That cream in the middle is foul. Hideous stuff.

Jolly Ranchers are my favourite. We used to get them over here, back when no one really gave a shit about carbohydrates. They are glorious, and last for ages because they are impossible to chew unless you want to smash your teeth into dust. Perhaps it wasn't the carbs, but the dentist bills that killed them off. What are you chomping hard boiled sweets for anyway? Stupid children. Sweets aren't for kids. They don't understand them.

I heard they are made out of bits of pig. Like lips and asshole and stuff. That might be an urban legend though. If only there was some form of online program that would allow me to type "twinkie" into it and it would search millions of web pages for me.

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Ping!

What Makes a Twinkie?

The list of ingredients of a Twinkie is a veritable Who's Who of the food chemical world and the following is a list of ingredients as provided on a ten-pack of Twinkies. Take a deep breath:

* Enriched Wheat Flour - enriched with ferrous sulphate (iron), B vitamins (niacin, thiamine mononitrate [b1], ribofavin [b12] and folic acid).

* Sugar

* Corn syrup

* Water

* High fructose corn syrup

* Vegetable and/or animal shortening - containing one or more of partially hydrogenated soybean, cottonseed or canola oil, and beef fat.

* Dextrose

* Whole eggs

How's your stomach? Really? Oh dear... Well hold tight because Twinkies also contain 2% or less of:

* Modified corn starch

* Cellulose gum

* Whey

* Leavenings (sodium acid pyrophosphate, baking soda, monocalcium phosphate)

* Salt

* Cornstarch

* Corn flour

* Corn syrup solids

* Mono and diglycerides

* Soy lecithin

* Polysorbate 60

* Dextrin

* Calcium caseinate

* Sodium stearol lactylate

* Wheat gluten

* Calcium sulphate

* Natural and artificial flavours

* Caramel colour

* Sorbic acid (to retain freshness)

* Colour added (yellow 5, red 40)

Animal Shortening ingredients:

Butter, suet, lard (see lard below).

lard, hog's fat melted and strained from the tissues, an important byproduct of the meatpacking industry. The highest grade, leaf lard, is from the fat around the kidneys; the next best is from the back, and the poorest from the small intestines.

:popcorn:

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