Jump to content
aberdeen-music

jokes


TelecasterSam

Recommended Posts

  • 3 weeks later...

"No," sighs Violent J. "I figured most people would say, 'Wow, I didn't know Insane Clown Posse could be deep like that.' But instead it's, 'ICP said a giraffe is a miracle. Ha ha ha! What a bunch of idiots.'" He pauses, then adds defiantly, "A giraffe is a fucking miracle. It has a dinosaur-like neck. It's yellow. Yeah, technically an elephant is not a miracle. Technically. They've been here for hundreds of years"

"Thousands," murmurs Shaggy.

"Have you ever stood next to an elephant, my friend?" asks Violent J. "A fucking elephant is a miracle. If people can't see a fucking miracle in a fucking elephant, then life must suck for them, because an elephant is a fucking miracle. So is a giraffe."

Insane Clown Posse: And God created controversy | Music | The Guardian

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is a story about the bond formed between a little girl and a

group of building workers. It's allegedly true and might help to confirm

your belief in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human

race....................

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a

gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all

the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.

She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold,

more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They

chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch

breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel

important.

They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled

her immensely.

At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a

pay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl took

her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the

bank the next day to open a savings account.

At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little

girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she

had a 'pay packet'.

'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier.

The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and

Wayne and Mike. We're building a big house.'

'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the

house again next week?'

The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously:

'I think so..........

Provided those wankers at Jewsons deliver the fucking bricks.'

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...