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Aberdeen Music Agony Uncle


GraemeC

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I'm going to be pedantic and point out it's actually an 'advice' thread :p

How should I tell my boss that he's a pathetic little shit who is only making life harder for himself by being such a cunt, without getting fired?

Your problem is you obviously have no respect for your betters, he's your boss and has every right to be a cunt especially if you are a pedantic twat at work as well...

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Dear George,

Last week I came home from work with man flu. When I let myself in to the flat ,I noticed my Jap Strat lying on the sofa with a broken string. I thought 'strange I don't remember breaking a string last night. It was then I heard moans from from the bedroom. When I got there, I saw my girlfriend getting humped from behind by a big geezer with a ACDC t shirt on.

Where is the best place to get cheap strings, and should I go from 8's up to 9's

yours hopefully

Who the fuck is George?

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Dear Uncle G,

Please help. I'm a pedantic, arrogant arsehole that likes to pretend im better than others by insulting them on a forum. In order to quench my thirst for said passtimes and to generally make myself feel better about my life, which is of course pathetic enough to have said passtimes, I have started a thread on said forum which supplies me with ample material to console myself with. However, I do feel, that I am infact a dick.

Any advice?

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I think he designs clothes for Tesco.

Ok sorry GraemeC

Anyway, I agree with the person above. You are a rubbish Agony Uncle. You seem to swear in every reply. In fact, I bet you're not even an Uncle, or in agony. So cut the crap.

Is it to be Slinkys or Roto's??

Me....fuckin swear....no fuckin chance!!

Not only am I an uncle....Im a fuckin great uncle in more than one way!!

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Me....fuckin swear....no fuckin chance!!

Not only am I an uncle....Im a fuckin great uncle in more than one way!!

A Great Uncle eh! Well I don't care if you are the Great Man from Uncle you bearded bampot. I asked a question about guitars strings, and all I get is a string of abuse.

Anyway, I bought a new E string (size 9) and will work away with this until I see if I should move the other 5 strings up to a full set of 9's...thanks for nothing.

Buttttttttttttt!!!, should I use Dunlop ot Pick Boy plectrums. I'll not confuse you with grades or thickness etc. You choose. But not Yellow dunlops as I don't like the colour yellow. Or Red, but whatever you say I will trust your judgement.....oh and not Green ones either.

merry christmas Uncle G

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Buttttttttttttt!!!, should I use Dunlop ot Pick Boy plectrums. I'll not confuse you with grades or thickness etc. You choose. But not Yellow dunlops as I don't like the colour yellow. Or Red, but whatever you say I will trust your judgement.....oh and not Green ones either.

I use orange dunlop tortexes =) thick enough to play cleanly and strongly, but thin enough that unskilled players (such as myself) can still play reasonably fast tremolo picking and altearnate picking. I use thinner ones for acoustic though, for volumes sake.

x

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  • 2 weeks later...
Dear Mr G,

Years of good food, real ale, two children and a sedentary lifestyle/job have left me with this big spare tyre around my former abs? What would you do?

Mr K

Well if you've had two children....i'd get a job in a freak circus as the fat lady man and make some money from you're weirdness...

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Dear Mr G

I really want to grow a beard a la zz top but i am concerned that it may have a slight ginger tinge to it.

any advice? :-)

Woah....!!

Check your pubes...if there is even one ginger one you must comit suicide immediatly..

Talking of which, has anyone seen Spoony lately?

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