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Yeah, that Fubar page is just bike thefts and ruffians going around trying door handles in Northfield.

I can't imagine other cities are much different. Everyone cycles down here in Bristol. Never seen such a busier city for cycling on these shores. Lots of huge lock-ups all over the city. You see a lot of folk walking to work carrying their saddle and front wheel. A handy tip for making your bike appear most unappealing to a potential bike thief. It inherently puts a bigger target on bikes that are unable to have their saddle and front wheel snapped off though.

I'm sure the cyclists here manage to take sweet vengeance if they get their bike pinched. They're fucking animals around here, and pretty much own the place. You don't fuck with a Bristol cyclist. Walking to a gig on Friday night, a girl infront of me was walking with one foot in the cycle lane - the kind that is painted on the outer edge of the pavement. Cyclist zoomed by, stiff-armed her out of the way Road Rash style, and gave her a mouthful of expletives as he did it. It wasn't busy, there was room for the cyclist to go by without doing that. But that's not the point. It was the cyclist reminding the feeble pedestrian of the chain of command. She didn't even react. Probably realised the error of her ways for being anywhere near a cycle lane on foot. I've been screamed at for getting in the way of a cyclist who was bombing the wrong way down a one way hill, as if it was me in the wrong. I obviously was. What was I thinking?

Anyone who has ever nicked a bike in Bristol is probably tied to a cinder block at the bottom of the canal.

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Trying to find a restaurant for a visiting group of genuine adults. Surely to fuck I wasn't as fucking awkward when I was  bairn and they were feeding me.

 

Oh, I forgot sweet tatties were fuckin' funcy.

Edited by James Broonbreed

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Being told "I'll pick up a mcdonalds breakfast on my way in. oh wait, just noticed the time. i won't get there in half an hour"

morning ruined.

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people who are incapable of being on time. so many people i know are so habituqally late that ive started telling them our plans are 30 mins earlier than they actually are.. and theyre STILL late! ABSOLUTE CUNTS

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25 minutes ago, ca_gere said:

My wife's reasoning for why she's always late: 'at least I know the other person will be there when I arrive'

boils my piss

 

thats grounds for a divorce right there!

My pal has the same logic but goes one further and waits till the arranged meeting time to leave his feckin hoose.. PRICK

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On 4/28/2017 at 1:53 PM, AVB said:

people who are incapable of being on time. so many people i know are so habituqally late that ive started telling them our plans are 30 mins earlier than they actually are.. and theyre STILL late! ABSOLUTE CUNTS

I used to be late to one of my jobs quite often. buses. I could have got an earlier bus. but I would have been there 45 mins early with no overtime. Sack that. What's worse is they would enact a "15 for every 5" rule. meaning if I was only 5 mins late due to the buses, I'd have to stay 15 mins at night. So, either turn up 45 mins early and not get paid for it, or stay 15 mins late and not get paid for it. It was quite obvious what the choice would be.

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18 hours ago, Jaaakkkeee said:

I used to be late to one of my jobs quite often. buses. I could have got an earlier bus. but I would have been there 45 mins early with no overtime. Sack that. What's worse is they would enact a "15 for every 5" rule. meaning if I was only 5 mins late due to the buses, I'd have to stay 15 mins at night. So, either turn up 45 mins early and not get paid for it, or stay 15 mins late and not get paid for it. It was quite obvious what the choice would be.

If youre early, you're on time. If you're on time you're late, if you're late, dont bother coming.

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On 4/28/2017 at 3:21 PM, AVB said:

My pal has the same logic but goes one further and waits till the arranged meeting time to leave his feckin hoose.. PRICK

Does this pal have a huge face by any chance?

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Pigeons keep destroying the fairy lights pinned to the fence in my garden.

Is there such a thing as Pigeon Repellent? The kind of thing that will just turn them into pigeon sludge as soon as they take one peck at the repellent?

They're a right set of bastards. I used to feel a bit sorry for them in Aberdeen, they always got bullied by those mutant sized seagulls. But now I hope all pigeons get swallowed whole by seagulls.

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2 hours ago, Soda Jerk said:

Pigeons keep destroying the fairy lights pinned to the fence in my garden.

Is there such a thing as Pigeon Repellent? The kind of thing that will just turn them into pigeon sludge as soon as they take one peck at the repellent?

They're a right set of bastards. I used to feel a bit sorry for them in Aberdeen, they always got bullied by those mutant sized seagulls. But now I hope all pigeons get swallowed whole by seagulls.

Put the fairy lights away like a normal person.

  • Upvote 1

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7 hours ago, Soda Jerk said:

Pigeons keep destroying the fairy lights pinned to the fence in my garden.

Is there such a thing as Pigeon Repellent? The kind of thing that will just turn them into pigeon sludge as soon as they take one peck at the repellent?

They're a right set of bastards. I used to feel a bit sorry for them in Aberdeen, they always got bullied by those mutant sized seagulls. But now I hope all pigeons get swallowed whole by seagulls.

Get a Falcon or an Eagle. 

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There's a weird smell of onions wafting about. I've just showered, put on clean clothes, got on clean trainers. I haven't done any cooking in the past couple of days so it's not my fingernails. I smelled my clothes and they're fine. I sprayed extra deodorant on myself. I'm not sweating. Still, onions. 

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On 6/23/2017 at 6:01 PM, James Broonbreed said:

Have  you checked your nostrils for onions?

I didn't 'cause I don't keep onions in there just my fingers.

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