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7 hours ago, Soda van Jerk said:

Amazon. Their demigod customer service has dropped several levels of late. Mainly because they have managed to create their own courier service that is somehow infinitely worse than Yodel ever was, Amazon Logistics. I made a big order over a week ago. They split it up into 5 shipments. They have lost all of them. That is no exaggeration. all 5 packages, lost. Normally they'd give you a refund on the spot, or offer to re-send immediately. Now they won't do that until the investigate it with Amazon Logistics. They seem to be tightening their belts. Did someone make them pay a bit of Tax or something?

A couple of weeks ago, another order was delivered and "left in a safe place". I got home from work, the parcel was on my door step, just off the main road. if it rained, it would have soaked through, as it was just books in a cardboard box. Thankfully it didn't. But still, could have been swiped. Not very safe at all.

About a month ago, I ordered a few things which ended up being delivered to wrong house on a different street about a mile away. I know this because the person actually drove to my house to give it me. The street names are similar, but not identical. Same name of saint, different name of road.

 

I might have to do Christmas shopping in, like, actual shops, surrounded by people and stuff. Grim.

I bought an espresso machine off Amazon a couple of years ago, got it sent to my sister in laws house in Edinburgh as it was a present for her. When I was checking out I put a typo in the address and got it sent to 12 blah blah blah Street instead of 123 blah blah blah Street. When it inevitably didn't turn up I contacted the company who I'd bought if from via Amazon and they told me where it had been delivered to, it was signed for so there was a record. She went round about a dozen times and they wouldn't answer the door. She put notes through the door, nothing.  I wasn't really sure where I stood because it was my fuck up but at the same time I'd paid like £100 for nothing. I contacted the company again to see if they could help me but they just absolutely refused point blank. And I could see their point, they delivered it to where I asked them too, although I argued that the names didn't match. I took a punt anyway and opened a dispute with Amazon. They refunded me immediately, and I mean within 10 minutes, and presumably they either took the hit or claimed it back from the seller. Either way I got another coffee machine (a better one) with the money and some cunt at 12 blah blah blah Street got a free one. 

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3 hours ago, Lemonade said:

I bought an espresso machine off Amazon a couple of years ago, got it sent to my sister in laws house in Edinburgh as it was a present for her. When I was checking out I put a typo in the address and got it sent to 12 blah blah blah Street instead of 123 blah blah blah Street. When it inevitably didn't turn up I contacted the company who I'd bought if from via Amazon and they told me where it had been delivered to, it was signed for so there was a record. She went round about a dozen times and they wouldn't answer the door. She put notes through the door, nothing.  I wasn't really sure where I stood because it was my fuck up but at the same time I'd paid like £100 for nothing. I contacted the company again to see if they could help me but they just absolutely refused point blank. And I could see their point, they delivered it to where I asked them too, although I argued that the names didn't match. I took a punt anyway and opened a dispute with Amazon. They refunded me immediately, and I mean within 10 minutes, and presumably they either took the hit or claimed it back from the seller. Either way I got another coffee machine (a better one) with the money and some cunt at 12 blah blah blah Street got a free one. 

Classic Amazon. They used to be GBOL.

The guy who brought me my package from the wrong street, he said he contacted Amazon first to come collect it and redeliver it to me. Amazon said they won't be doing that, and just told him to keep it, all whilst trying to convince me that the tracking was wrong and the item was never actually out for delivery. New Amazon. Definitely not GBOL. 

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Amazon in Poland is ridiculously GBOL. I never thought I'd shop for something and think... nah, I'm not getting it because I can't get it in 1 HOUR. 1 Hour delivery!! on a shitload of stuff too. It's insane. Entirely unnecessary too of course but fucking amazing. No idea how it works either. It's not like there are massive warehouses nearby.

The other great thing about them is their ability to break into your building. FedEx, dhl and whoever else all leave a note and fuck off if you're not in. Amazon delivery guy somehow manages to get your package to your door no matter what. None of this 'sorry we missed you' nonsense. I dunno if they have skeleton keys or what... I don't even care.

amazon lockers are pretty great too. You want to return something? Just fill in a form online and stick it in one of these lockers they have at every supermarket. No putting it back in a box or filling in a return address or anything. Magical.

 

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9 hours ago, ca_gere said:

Amazon in Poland is ridiculously GBOL. I never thought I'd shop for something and think... nah, I'm not getting it because I can't get it in 1 HOUR. 1 Hour delivery!! on a shitload of stuff too. It's insane. Entirely unnecessary too of course but fucking amazing. No idea how it works either. It's not like there are massive warehouses nearby.

The other great thing about them is their ability to break into your building. FedEx, dhl and whoever else all leave a note and fuck off if you're not in. Amazon delivery guy somehow manages to get your package to your door no matter what. None of this 'sorry we missed you' nonsense. I dunno if they have skeleton keys or what... I don't even care.

amazon lockers are pretty great too. You want to return something? Just fill in a form online and stick it in one of these lockers they have at every supermarket. No putting it back in a box or filling in a return address or anything. Magical.

 

This all sounds amazing.

Unfortunately the installation of Amazon lockers in Aberdeen would likely require public consultation, followed by residents' vote, followed by council ignoring 'the will of the people', followed by council pushing through and installing CD-WOW.com lockers instead.

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There's Amazon lockers in the co-op at the top of Rosemount Place.

I once ordered a pair of Vans to be delivered to that locker. which was just around the corner from my flat at the time, but I knew I'd be at work. For some reason, they came all the way from Italy. By the time they reached the lockers, they were full, and couldn't be delivered there. So the pair of Vans went ALL THE WAY BACK TO ITALY, despite being about 100m from my house. The package had both the locker address and my home address. But nah, they sent them back.

 

I pretty much live in the countryside now, so no Amazon lockers near me. Our co-op only just recently got contactless card machines, and the cashier looked at me in utter bemusement when I paid with Apple Pay the other day. She probably thought I was a wizard, or some sort of Mr Robot-like cyber-hacker. Amazon lockers by 2020, maybe.

Edited by Soda van Jerk
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On 11/15/2016 at 6:59 PM, Lemonade said:

I keep hearing the phrase recently "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result". Which it definitely isn't. Where the fuck did this crap come from? 

I think it was popularised recently by a Far Cry game and some tv shows. 

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On 11/16/2016 at 11:09 PM, ca_gere said:

The other great thing about them is their ability to break into your building.

 

I knew of a guy who worked for DHL that go sacked for that. Was his last delivery of the day to a business, but no one answered the door. He looked in the window and saw some lights on. He decided to climb in through window and he got caught trespassing and got sacked. 

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8 hours ago, Jaaakkkeee said:

I knew of a guy who worked for DHL that go sacked for that. Was his last delivery of the day to a business, but no one answered the door. He looked in the window and saw some lights on. He decided to climb in through window and he got caught trespassing and got sacked. 

Common sense, stupity, and crime; a fine line.

Edited by James Broonbreed
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On 24 November 2016 at 11:09 AM, TRΔNGLE TEETH said:

It is irritating to work in an open plan office when a colleague leaves on sound notifications for their computer, especially for emails.

Bash on the nose with a rolled up newspaper, it's the only language they understand...

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On ‎24‎/‎11‎/‎2016 at 11:09 AM, TRΔNGLE TEETH said:

It is irritating to work in an open plan office when a colleague leaves on sound notifications for their computer, especially for emails.

Wait until he goes to the toilet, check his computer to see if he is logged in to anything like a forum or facebook, go on and confess that you (he) are gay. Buddy of mine had it done to him on a biker forum, it was hilarious.

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