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Some recent quotes from my AGFW. FTR this person is privately schooled and is now my manager. 

We need to get on top of the gameball

He's a dark fox

She's clueless as a breeze

The clue is in the pudding

You need to delete your history browser. Do you know how to get to your history browser? 

There's a lot of switching and swatching

This is so fustrating (sic), I'm pulling my teeth out 

You need to have a symbol sign in your password, like an explanation mark

The cheques are all over the air

I'm afraid your order has been overviewed

That's not the problem, the problem is there's a bug on the virus.

I deeply apologise on that behalf.

It comes from some city in England, Stokeholm or something.

It's supposed to be done every Monday, but I think it's fallen through a hoop.

We don't need things dripping and drapping on us.

They're pulling me around the block

I can't say it any more clearer

It was just a mistypo. What do you want me to say? I'm sorry for the mistypo.

I feel like a talking part at this stage

Be careful that doesn't come back on the long foot

We were going to do that but unfortunately you beat us to the pulp

I think there's an error on the system server

There's things that slip through my pipeline

He's trying to play the pity party on you.

I softblowed that too.

Shaun emailed five times and I emailed twice. Thats six emails.

It would be nice to have everyone on the same wavepage

I'm not a rocket science... lady

I have a very irated customer on the phone 

It disappeared, it just... vamoosed

I thought I saw it this morning but i might have been overseeing things

They're still just trying to get their feet on gear

I couldn't understand his accent, I think he's Pakistanian or something

It was an overview and an overlook from that department.

 

Edited by Lemonade
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8 minutes ago, Lemonade said:

Some recent quotes from my AGFW. FTR this person is privately schooled and is now my manager. 

[Fuckfest of quotes]

 

Is English this person's first language? Because if not then most of those are pretty forgivable and I'd feel like a cunt for making fun of them... If it is however, then that person being your boss means your career is dogshit. Although I do like "Dark Fox". Sounds like a villain in Star Fox. I would play that game.

 

xx

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8 minutes ago, Stroopy121 said:

Is English this person's first language? Because if not then most of those are pretty forgivable and I'd feel like a cunt for making fun of them... If it is however, then that person being your boss means your career is dogshit. Although I do like "Dark Fox". Sounds like a villain in Star Fox. I would play that game.

 

xx

Dublin born and bred. Thankfully I'm on my way out to another job. She only got the job by default because no-one else applied. She's so incompetent all the other managers dread dealing with her because she just beats them into submission with reams of bullshit as above. 

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40 minutes ago, Lemonade said:

Some recent quotes from my AGFW. FTR this person is privately schooled and is now my manager. 

 

These are gold!

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2 hours ago, Lemonade said:

Some recent quotes from my AGFW. FTR this person is privately schooled and is now my manager. 

We need to get on top of the gameball

He's a dark fox

She's clueless as a breeze

The clue is in the pudding

You need to delete your history browser. Do you know how to get to your history browser? 

There's a lot of switching and swatching

This is so fustrating (sic), I'm pulling my teeth out 

You need to have a symbol sign in your password, like an explanation mark

The cheques are all over the air

I'm afraid your order has been overviewed

That's not the problem, the problem is there's a bug on the virus.

I deeply apologise on that behalf.

It comes from some city in England, Stokeholm or something.

It's supposed to be done every Monday, but I think it's fallen through a hoop.

We don't need things dripping and drapping on us.

They're pulling me around the block

I can't say it any more clearer

It was just a mistypo. What do you want me to say? I'm sorry for the mistypo.

I feel like a talking part at this stage

Be careful that doesn't come back on the long foot

We were going to do that but unfortunately you beat us to the pulp

I think there's an error on the system server

There's things that slip through my pipeline

He's trying to play the pity party on you.

I softblowed that too.

Shaun emailed five times and I emailed twice. Thats six emails.

It would be nice to have everyone on the same wavepage

I'm not a rocket science... lady

I have a very irated customer on the phone 

It disappeared, it just... vamoosed

I thought I saw it this morning but i might have been overseeing things

They're still just trying to get their feet on gear

I couldn't understand his accent, I think he's Pakistanian or something

It was an overview and an overlook from that department.

 

i like how in most of these examples you can see where the mistake lies. You can mostly understand what she meant to say, or rather what the equivalent common phrase would be. But, "I softblowed that too" and "she's clueless as a breeze" are pulled straight from fucking nowhere.

great stuff

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2 hours ago, Lemonade said:

Some recent quotes from my AGFW. FTR this person is privately schooled and is now my manager. 

We need to get on top of the gameball - we need to be at the top of our game? I think there's probably a hint of 'drop the ball' in this.

He's a dark fox - dark horse/sly fox

She's clueless as a breeze - ???

The clue is in the pudding - proof is in the pudding. The clue is in the title

You need to delete your history browser. Do you know how to get to your history browser? - she's mixed the order of browser history

There's a lot of switching and swatching - toing and froing? 

This is so fustrating (sic), I'm pulling my teeth out - pulling my hair out. Mixed with sink my teeth in.

You need to have a symbol sign in your password, like an explanation mark - an explanation mark should definitely be a new punctuation mark.

The cheques are all over the air - up in the air?

I'm afraid your order has been overviewed - overlooked

That's not the problem, the problem is there's a bug on the virus. - failed technobabble

I deeply apologise on that behalf. - on their behalf

It comes from some city in England, Stokeholm or something. - stoke/Stockholm

It's supposed to be done every Monday, but I think it's fallen through a hoop. - fallen through the cracks mixed with jumping through hoops

We don't need things dripping and drapping on us. - ??? I think this one is born out of her need to catchphrase things.

They're pulling me around the block - could be a number of phrases really. Going round the bend? Or maybe just a need to Americanize.

I can't say it any more clearer - misuse of adverb/comparitive

It was just a mistypo. What do you want me to say? I'm sorry for the mistypo. - typo/mistake

I feel like a talking part at this stage - talking head/bit part?

Be careful that doesn't come back on the long foot - this is a doozy. Be careful that doesn't come back around? Off on the wrong foot? Long in the tooth?

We were going to do that but unfortunately you beat us to the pulp - beat to a pulp/beaten to the punch

I think there's an error on the system server - failed jargon

There's things that slip through my pipeline - slip my attention/through a pipeline/

He's trying to play the pity party on you. - not sure exactly how to use 'pity party' but I know it's not like this. Phrasing probably comes from 'Trying to play the martyr'.

I softblowed that too. - u wot m8??

Shaun emailed five times and I emailed twice. Thats six emails. - bad math

It would be nice to have everyone on the same wavepage - on the same page/wavelength 

I'm not a rocket science... lady - im not a rocket scientist/it's not rocket science

I have a very irated customer on the phone - invention of a past tense for the word irate

It disappeared, it just... vamoosed - vanished + vamoos

I thought I saw it this morning but i might have been overseeing things - seeing things

They're still just trying to get their feet on gear - get in gear/feet on the ground

I couldn't understand his accent, I think he's Pakistanian or something - pakistani

It was an overview and an overlook from that department. - oversight? Looked over?

 

I tried to see if I could break them down. For my own amusement. These things fascinate me.

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52 minutes ago, ca_gere said:

I tried to see if I could break them down. For my own amusement. These things fascinate me.

Added a few notes to yours.

Quote

 


Some recent quotes from my AGFW. FTR this person is privately schooled and is now my manager. 

We need to get on top of the gameball - we need to be at the top of our game? I think there's probably a hint of 'drop the ball' in this.
*I think it's a mix of "Keep our eye on the ball" and "stay on top of our game"

He's a dark fox - dark horse/sly fox

She's clueless as a breeze - ??? 
*She hasn't got a breeze

The clue is in the pudding - proof is in the pudding. The clue is in the title

You need to delete your history browser. Do you know how to get to your history browser? - she's mixed the order of browser history

There's a lot of switching and swatching - toing and froing? 

This is so fustrating (sic), I'm pulling my teeth out - pulling my hair out. Mixed with sink my teeth in.

You need to have a symbol sign in your password, like an explanation mark - an explanation mark should definitely be a new punctuation mark.

The cheques are all over the air - up in the air?

I'm afraid your order has been overviewed - overlooked

That's not the problem, the problem is there's a bug on the virus. - failed technobabble

I deeply apologise on that behalf. - on their behalf

It comes from some city in England, Stokeholm or something. - stoke/Stockholm

It's supposed to be done every Monday, but I think it's fallen through a hoop. - fallen through the cracks mixed with jumping through hoops

We don't need things dripping and drapping on us. - ??? I think this one is born out of her need to catchphrase things.

They're pulling me around the block - could be a number of phrases really. Going round the bend? Or maybe just a need to Americanize.

I can't say it any more clearer - misuse of adverb/comparitive

It was just a mistypo. What do you want me to say? I'm sorry for the mistypo. - typo/mistake
*The best part of this is that the "mistypo" was emailing someone called Brendan and writing "Hi Brenda".

I feel like a talking part at this stage - talking head/bit part?
*Talking parrot

Be careful that doesn't come back on the long foot - this is a doozy. Be careful that doesn't come back around? Off on the wrong foot? Long in the tooth?
*Putting  something on the long finger (to postpone something / put it on the backburner) but never the long foot.

We were going to do that but unfortunately you beat us to the pulp - beat to a pulp/beaten to the punch

I think there's an error on the system server - failed jargon

There's things that slip through my pipeline - slip my attention/through a pipeline/

He's trying to play the pity party on you. - not sure exactly how to use 'pity party' but I know it's not like this. Phrasing probably comes from 'Trying to play the martyr'.

I softblowed that too. - u wot m8??
*Broke the news gently

Shaun emailed five times and I emailed twice. Thats six emails. - bad math

It would be nice to have everyone on the same wavepage - on the same page/wavelength 

I'm not a rocket science... lady - im not a rocket scientist/it's not rocket science

I have a very irated customer on the phone - invention of a past tense for the word irate

It disappeared, it just... vamoosed - vanished + vamoos

I thought I saw it this morning but i might have been overseeing things - seeing things

They're still just trying to get their feet on gear - get in gear/feet on the ground

I couldn't understand his accent, I think he's Pakistanian or something - pakistani

It was an overview and an overlook from that department. - oversight? Looked over?

 

You can normally see what she's trying to say, she just mangles metaphors.

Edited by Lemonade

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Communicate with her by repeating her own phrases at her when relevant. See if she spots the mistakes and looks at you like you've just pissed on her chips, or if she just takes it in as thought its normal.

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8 minutes ago, Soda van Jerk said:

Communicate with her by repeating her own phrases at her when relevant. See if she spots the mistakes and looks at you like you've just pissed on her chips, or if she just takes it in as thought its normal.

I do, all the time, so me and the other guy who notices them can laugh about it. She never notices. 

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Used my new job offer to renegotiate at my current job, a week of meetings with managers and directors, got the contract I wanted and pleased that I've proved my worth to the company and earning a salary I think I'm worth - then ruined it all right at the end when I sealed the deal with the limpest, dantiest handshake I've ever given anyone. 

1355257750059.gif

 

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44 minutes ago, Teabags said:

So are you staying with AGFW?

 

In another department, far far away from her. So that will be my solitary AGFW quotes post. Which is a shame really. 

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People/tradesmen who build over stopcocks without leaving any sort of hatch, or even an indication, where it is.

I got lucky this time and only had to remove a couple of pieces of wood behind the cistern to switch off my water - after jury rigging a valve key so I could reach the fucking thing.

Fucking builder cocks.

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Marmalade. Horrible substance. Who even likes it? No one, I bet. Tastes like bitterness, and regret for buying it in the first place.

Marmalade is jam for wankers. 

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I like marmalade. It's absolutely insane with peanut butter. Have it with peanut butter on toast then come back and post about it in the pet hates thread. I bet you don't. 

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2 hours ago, Lemonade said:

I like marmalade. It's absolutely insane with peanut butter. Have it with peanut butter on toast then come back and post about it in the pet hates thread. I bet you don't. 

I bet I don't either, because I'm not trying that. I'm not convinced a food stuff I can't abide combined with a food stuff I can just about tolerate will make a food stuff that I think is good.

I'm alright with peanut butter with jam, but it helps that I am all about jam. The jam makes it work. 

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20 minutes ago, Soda van Jerk said:

I bet I don't either, because I'm not trying that. I'm not convinced a food stuff I can't abide combined with a food stuff I can just about tolerate will make a food stuff that I think is good.

I'm alright with peanut butter with jam, but it helps that I am all about jam. The jam makes it work. 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRwz3ozGPDnbUxxySrb7C1

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