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Pet Hates!


Guest idol_wild

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Guest Gladstone
Son, when you're as fly as me, the cash-machine gives you 50s even when you ask for a 10. Out of fear.

Seriously though, now I'm doubting myself. I've had 50s from somewhere and I don't ever really go into the branch to withdraw cash...

Where are these 50 notes coming from?

Nae from a cash machine. They load them with 10s and 20s. That's all I've ever had from a cash machine.

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Swiss bank machines are the absolute worst, they don't give you small bills, only 50s and 100s. if you go to a cashpoint there and ask for 100f you get a 100franc note. Which sounds all well and good, until you go into the supermarket and buy a packet of chewing gum and a newspaper because you need change for the bus, and you hand over what is essentially a 60 note. They don't like that so much.

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Guest idol_wild
Were you ever in with a chance?

:up:

Like what you did there.

I was a fat bastard at school, so I wasn't in with a chance with anyone. I'd have given her the swerve, though. Her face was diabolical.

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Oh, and Foxy Bingo. Fucking smart-arse fox cunt.

I was literally just about to mention this. I hate that sleezy fox bastard and his shit suits. If he's a fox, why is he such a player? Foxes can't even speak.

The more I think about this, the more I realise I hate adverts in general. Even the "clever" ones, for instance the Honda one with the parts of a car setting of a chain reaction. Speaking of chain reactions, that guiness one with the dominos can fuck off. So can the merecats and the moonpig and all the fucking toothpaste. What is this "active oats" bollocks in the Scot's Porridge Oats one all about. What a load of shit.

Audrey Tautou in the Coco Channel one though... That is amazing. Absolutely astonishing.

Claudia Winklemin and Richard Hammond are totally shit and I hate them.

Jimmy Carr's face.

Finally, James Corden is the world's least funny cunt. What an asshole. What a cunt faced prick.

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I was literally just about to mention this. I hate that sleezy fox bastard and his shit suits. If he's a fox, why is he such a player? Foxes can't even speak.

The more I think about this, the more I realise I hate adverts in general. Even the "clever" ones, for instance the Honda one with the parts of a car setting of a chain reaction. Speaking of chain reactions, that guiness one with the dominos can fuck off. So can the merecats and the moonpig and all the fucking toothpaste. What is this "active oats" bollocks in the Scot's Porridge Oats one all about. What a load of shit.

Audrey Tautou in the Coco Channel one though... That is amazing. Absolutely astonishing.

Claudia Winklemin and Richard Hammond are totally shit and I hate them.

Jimmy Carr's face.

Finally, James Corden is the world's least funny cunt. What an asshole. What a cunt faced prick.

My wifes friend fancies the Fox. Well that's what she says. Wait a minute, it might be a case of the 'my mate fancies you' when in fact it is not the mate at all, but the person who said it. Jeezo my wife might fancy a TV Fox. She has recently being going about with a merecat keyring. I've heard of animal lovers but this is too far!!

While I'm here....I hate passport control. It doesn't matter where it is, it sucks. Even Aberdeen Airport is pish. You have to stand in a long queue and listen to the staff given people into trouble about having their mobile phones switched on...........what is all that about?

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The security at Gs casino. Was meant to meet friends inside that I hadn't seen in ages, and despite having had two beers, they decided I was "too drunk".

Bastards.

100% this. The G Gestapo are fuckin murder. Fortunately I have a friend who is one of the honchos there, I always feel smug when he pops up to tell the bouncers to let us in.

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Mind you, giving up on the argument and saying: "Well, at least I've still got fucking hair" and "if I had a cunt you'd let me in" was a mistake. Hope they don't remember me.

Damn right you haven't got a cunt, Euan. You have massive, gigantic hairy BALLLS for saying that to them. Unless you really were drunk.

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