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10 hours ago, Soda Jerk said:

Kelloggs axing Ricicles, spouting some guff about helping kids cut down their sugar intake.

Get fucked. If parents want their kids to reduce their sugar, stop giving them Ricicles. I'm an adult, I get to decide how much sugar I get. Give me the Ricicles. 


Outraged. I think I need to have a Daily Mail article done about me, with a photo of me pointing angrily at a box of Ricicles, where I blame it on lefties and call it a cereal nanny state. Bloody Kelloggs, those commie snowflakes, and them remoaners and their war on sugar. Rabble rabble rabble.

 

 

Fucking love Ricicles.

You know you can just buy Rice Krispies and put sugar on them and it's the same. You know that right?

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11 hours ago, Lemonade said:

You know you can just buy Rice Krispies and put sugar on them and it's the same. You know that right?

No chance.

It's like saying Frosties are the same as Corn Flakes with sugar. Very different. Not at all the same.

Not a fan of adding sugar to cereal. The sugar just seems to sink to the bottom, and at the end you just have this sugar sludge in the milk. Ricicles make the milk sweet without the sugar gunge. And they're just better.

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The gobby cow in my office who repeats things like "they've been told they can't put up Christmas decorations any more in case they offend non-Christians" and it's "CHRISTmas, the clue is in the name" and "its merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays" on a stupid loop for the past month. 

She has also said more than once  that you can't say blackboard any more or sing baa baa black sheep, and I got caught in the crossfire of an anti abortion rant recently too. She talks shit, all day, very loudly. 

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1 hour ago, Lemonade said:

She has also said more than once  that you can't say blackboard any more or sing baa baa black sheep

I remember my Nan saying that when I was a kid. like, 25 years ago. My Nan's a bit racist, like most Nans.

They were definitely just myths though, right? "Black board" was definitely used all through high school (do blackboards even exist anymore?) and my missus' niece is currently learning baa baa black sheep, in the 2017 state of Christian White oppression.

You need to flush your time-travelling closet-racist colleague's head down the bog.

 

I do love the annual War on Christmas rants though. Every year, like clockwork. Some prat I know was crying about how Christmas Crackers are only called "Crackers" now, because "THEY'RE BANNING CHRISTMAS!!". Nah fam. I've got a massive box of 50 crackers in the attic that I've had for a decade, because we only use a couple every year. They must be from about 2008, when I first moved to Aberdeen, they've moved to about 4 different houses now, and the extra space in the box we use for storing the tinsel. The box just says "Crackers" and that was nearly 10 years ago. Were they ever actually called Christmas Crackers?

And who even gives a fuck? What have they even got to do with Christmas anyway? I'm going to need to have another squint at the nativity scene to see where it is exactly that the Baby Jesus and one of the shepherds pull on some cardboard banger with a mustache comb and a shit joke inside.

If Christmas is being banned, they need to tell Bristol, because Bristol looks like it vomited Christmas everywhere. I've been to 3 Christmas markets in a week. The one in Cardiff had a stall where this old guy just bellowed "MIIIIIIIIIINCE PIIIIIIIIIES" in the most brazen of Welsh accents, repeatedly. He was wearing a Santa hat, so obviously didn't get the reminder about the nationwide Christmas ban. Off with his head!

Edited by Soda Jerk
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7 hours ago, Lemonade said:

The gobby cow in my office who repeats things like "they've been told they can't put up Christmas decorations any more in case they offend non-Christians" and it's "CHRISTmas, the clue is in the name" and "its merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays" on a stupid loop for the past month. 

CyGyTXlW8AA0udS.jpg

 

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AGFW couldn't understand why he couldn't check-in for his flight when the email said he can check in 24 hours before his flight's departure time. Instead, he was told that check-in opened in 7 minutes. The flight was at 10:30. This happened at 10:23. And he still doesn't understand why he had to wait 7 minutes.

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1 hour ago, Teabags said:

AGFW couldn't understand why he couldn't check-in for his flight when the email said he can check in 24 hours before his flight's departure time. Instead, he was told that check-in opened in 7 minutes. The flight was at 10:30. This happened at 10:23. And he still doesn't understand why he had to wait 7 minutes.

Your work sounds like its full of complete Mongs

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43 minutes ago, colb said:

Racist Gran would be a great band name.

I'm envisaging it as some sort of formulaic hardcore band, with lyrics made up entirely of things that racist grans say.

Racist Gran needs to have some crew neck long sleeved tees made up, like all the old hardcore bands had, with xBACKxINxMYxDAYx printed down one of the sleeves.

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7 minutes ago, Soda Jerk said:

I'm envisaging it as some sort of formulaic hardcore band, with lyrics made up entirely of things that racist grans say.

Racist Gran needs to have some crew neck long sleeved tees made up, like all the old hardcore bands had, with xBACKxINxMYxDAYx printed down one of the sleeves.

Id wear that

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Pre-ordering records, only to have to wait longer than I would have if I just bought it when it came out.

Pre-ordered Tyler, The Creator's Scum Fuck Flower Boy in JULY. People in America have only just started getting theirs. Sure, its apparently a nice pressing, but I could have the black one delivered tomorrow with Amazon Prime.

 

Also ordered Listener's Being Empty Being Filled Vol 2. There was a delay and I could offered to order Vol 3 and combine postage. Did that. Was supposed to be sent out on 16th Nov. No record, no reply to emails.

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  • 2 months later...
  • 1 month later...

Going on holiday in May, and I got an e-mail from Easyjet this morning titled "Important Changes to your Booking"

The opening line was "We regret to inform you that there have been unavoidable changes made to your booking. See below for your amended departure and arrival times". I'm preparing to flip my desk over at this point, as something seems to always go wrong with Easyjet, but I'm just always sucked in by those low, low prices.

They go on to explain that instead of landing at 9:20am on the day of departure, we'll now be landing at 9:15am.

 

I feel like Bluths in Arrested Development when they're around the doctor who is terrible at explaining.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

 

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  • 2 months later...

yearly colb moan about True North.

True North - features the contemporary music industry's most interesting, relevant and exciting artists. This year the line up includes:

The Magic Numbers

Glasvegas

Mull Historical Society

Vic Galloway on the wheels of steel

Yeah...

Still at least they're not pretending this has anything at all to do with the songwriting tradition of the North East this year. 

I'll probably go and see Mogwai mind you.

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