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Guest idol_wild

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Lidl. Lidl are BASTARDS. Total BASTARDS.

What gives, man? Why the crap don't they have hand-baskets? It's not the kind of place you can do your bigshop, because they just don't have the stock unless along with your Reshaped chicken, turkey and fishgut kievs and your frozen goat schnitzel you want to buy a frisbee, some wellington boots and a carjack... Being situated in Seaton, shoppers are made to feel criminalised, and you have to deposit a quid for a ruddy trolley. I didn't have any cash on me to secure my very own crime-free food prison, so I had to struggle with my own two mitts because this arsecandle of a supermarket doesn't have hand-baskets.

I grabbed as many things as I could manage, and then some; still missing a few items I needed to get... I made it to the checkouts in a sea of sweat. I thought I had heroicly made it over the finish line, and safety was only seconds away. As I put my last few items onto the belt, I dropped a bottle of steak sauce and a jar of big, fuck off, massive hotdogs that I was pretty excited about gnawing at tonight. Toshed. All over the floor. The hot dog jar was massive so it made a pretty impressive crashing sound. Everyones eyes are on me. The empoyees are yelling in Polish about how I'm probably a total crapsack, and for some poor soul to come out and clean it up who, I must add, was only supplied with some kitchen roll and a bucket. Poor show.

I didn't apologise though. I just huffed about how they should have handbaskets, because I'm brave.. What is even brave, is that I stepped back in to the store only a couple of hours later to get the items I couldn't manage, and also for the Hot Dogs that I really am pretty excited about. They are fucking massive. I had to buy baguettes to house them in because regular rolls are just too fucking PUNY!

So, there's my fearless tale about how Lidl are a bunch of shitclocks.

ha ha what a post! ever tried trolleys?

I love lidls tho, usually use an empty box

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I mentioned that I didn't have money for a trolley. I think if a yob was going to steal a trolley to push it down a hill and into the river, I think he or she would be alright with parting ways with a pound coin. I'm sure they could use their White Cider or Alcopop bottle opener to pry the pound coin out though, if they really wanted to.

Besides, the trolleys with baby seats don't need a poind coin deposit, so the shellsuit mafia would probably just opt for that one anyway.

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Lidl. Lidl are BASTARDS. Total BASTARDS.

What gives, man? Why the crap don't they have hand-baskets? It's not the kind of place you can do your bigshop, because they just don't have the stock unless along with your Reshaped chicken, turkey and fishgut kievs and your frozen goat schnitzel you want to buy a frisbee, some wellington boots and a carjack... Being situated in Seaton, shoppers are made to feel criminalised, and you have to deposit a quid for a ruddy trolley. I didn't have any cash on me to secure my very own crime-free food prison, so I had to struggle with my own two mitts because this arsecandle of a supermarket doesn't have hand-baskets.

I grabbed as many things as I could manage, and then some; still missing a few items I needed to get... I made it to the checkouts in a sea of sweat. I thought I had heroicly made it over the finish line, and safety was only seconds away. As I put my last few items onto the belt, I dropped a bottle of steak sauce and a jar of big, fuck off, massive hotdogs that I was pretty excited about gnawing at tonight. Toshed. All over the floor. The hot dog jar was massive so it made a pretty impressive crashing sound. Everyones eyes are on me. The empoyees are yelling in Polish about how I'm probably a total crapsack, and for some poor soul to come out and clean it up who, I must add, was only supplied with some kitchen roll and a bucket. Poor show.

I didn't apologise though. I just huffed about how they should have handbaskets, because I'm brave.. What is even brave, is that I stepped back in to the store only a couple of hours later to get the items I couldn't manage, and also for the Hot Dogs that I really am pretty excited about. They are fucking massive. I had to buy baguettes to house them in because regular rolls are just too fucking PUNY!

So, there's my fearless tale about how Lidl are a bunch of shitclocks.

haha, you should write a book about all the things you hate joe. i'd read it. or at the very least flick through it looking for pictures.

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Guest idol_wild
haha, you should write a book about all the things you hate joe. i'd read it. or at the very least flick through it looking for pictures.

I was going to suggest this actually.

Aye, reading your book. Not flicking through it for pictures.

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Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree
People who type the word "bollox". Fucking annoys the fuck out of me.Would it really kill you to press two more fucking keys?

Things like "boi" are even worse. What's the point exactly?

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Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree
I mentioned that I didn't have money for a trolley. I think if a yob was going to steal a trolley to push it down a hill and into the river, I think he or she would be alright with parting ways with a pound coin. I'm sure they could use their White Cider or Alcopop bottle opener to pry the pound coin out though, if they really wanted to.

Besides, the trolleys with baby seats don't need a poind coin deposit, so the shellsuit mafia would probably just opt for that one anyway.

I suggest if you don't have a pound next time - just take a trolley with a baby seat.

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T'internet is an example of a pretty acceptable regional dialect in Yorkshire and Lancashire, which is used when the word 'The' is replaced with a T sound before a word which starts with a vowel or a H.

It's alright to dislike it though, because it is a bit fruity. Besides... They'd probably have something to say about all this "I da'ken fit t'dee" nonsense. When I first moved here, it took me a while to realise that Ken isn't a really person, and I'm certainly not ever going to meet him.

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T'internet is an example of a pretty acceptable regional dialect in Yorkshire and Lancashire, which is used when the word 'The' is replaced with a T sound before a word which starts with a vowel or a H.

It's alright to dislike it though, because it is a bit fruity. Besides... They'd probably have something to say about all this "I da'ken fit t'dee" nonsense. When I first moved here, it took me a while to realise that Ken isn't a really person, and I'm certainly not ever going to meet him.

haha your posts have been brilliant these past few days!

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T'internet is an example of a pretty acceptable regional dialect in Yorkshire and Lancashire, which is used when the word 'The' is replaced with a T sound before a word which starts with a vowel or a H.

It's alright to dislike it though, because it is a bit fruity. Besides... They'd probably have something to say about all this "I da'ken fit t'dee" nonsense. When I first moved here, it took me a while to realise that Ken isn't a really person, and I'm certainly not ever going to meet him.

Ha Ha, I had exactly the same problem !

I was also confused over the use of "in-tilt" and "Fit like?" for a while too !

Its a funny old world.....

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