thoughts on aberdeen

[Chris]

A Big Boy Did It And Ran Away - extract

Europe's Oil Capital. Honestly. The first time he heard the expression, he'd assumed it was a bit of self-deprecatory humour. That was before he learned that there was no such thing as self-deprecatory humour in Aberdeen, particularly when it came to the town's utterly unfounded conceit of itself. It was a provincial fishing port that had struck it astronomically lucky with the discovery of North Sea oil, and the result was comparable to a country bumpkin who had won the lottery, minus the dopey grin and colossal sense of incredulous gratitude. The prevalent local delusion wasn't that the town had merely been in the right place at the right time, but that it had somehow done something to deserve this massive good fortune, and not before time, either. Nor did the billions ploughed into the area's economy stop them whining about every penny of Scottish public money that got spent anywhere south of the Stracathro motorway service station.

He didn't imagine the locals had first asked anyone else in the European oil industry whether they concurred before conferring this status upon their home town, but working in marketing he at least understood the necessity of such misleading promotion in face of the less glamorous truth. 'Scotland's Fourth City' wasn't exactly a winning slogan, especially considering that there was a dizzyingly steep drop-off after the first two, and it still put them behind the ungodly shit-hole that was Dundee.

The also self-conferred nickname 'Silver City' was another over-reaching feat of turd-polishing euphemism. It was grey. Everything was grey. There was just no getting away from it. The buildings were all - all - made of granite and the sky was covered in a thick layer of permacloud. It. Was. Grey. If Aberdeen was silver, then shite wasn't brown, it was coppertone. It was grey, as in dull, as in dreary, as in chromatically challenged. It was grey, grey, grey. And the only thing greyer than the city itself was the fucking natives.

*sigh*

The thing about that quote, and quite a big deal was made about it at the time and has been since, is it lacks context. Put into the context of the book as a whole you realise it's just another example of what an utter cunt the character who's saying that is. He's egotistical, narcissistic, hates everyone else and is a mass murdering serial killer.

The main character, who's a good, nice guy, actually likes Aberdeen in the book.

[KimyReizeger]

What book is that?

[Chris]

What book is that?

A Big Boy Did It And Ran Away by Christopher Brookmyre

[neepheid]

No i know but i don't want some drunk asshole climbing in demanding to drive him home.

I'm not a fucking taxi.

Is it too much to ask to be able to drive down the main street without being harrassed.

I have even witnessed drivers getting grief for having the audacity to stop at traffic lights.

That's because no-one in Aberdeen stops at traffic lights!

OK, that's an exaggeration, but in all the time I've been in Aberdeen, I have noticed over the past few years an increase in the number of "amber gamblers" and more disturbingly a commensurate increase in the number of people who simply sail through red lights. You try waiting to turn right onto Westburn Road from Westburn Drive when it's busy and see what I mean.

Since I started honking my horn at anyone who goes through a red light when I'm waiting to turn right, I've also noticed a sharp increase in the number of people giving me a rude gesture. I don't get it. You're wrong - take your chastisement like the grown-up you're supposed to be when behind the wheel of a car.

I can see a day coming when I get my car rear ended as a result of stopping at a red light.

Sure, I could moan all day about Aberdeen and its inhabitants, but to be honest I'm reasonably happy here, got a decent job, got somewhere to live, got places I can go, got things I can do. For everything else, there's Guinness.

[Sue Denim..]

Aberdeens problem in a nutshell.

You've hit the nail square on the head. Why should I fuck off from a damn good job, the kids up and move from a good school all because our council is fucking up a potential goldmine city?

And it's people that reply ' Just fuck off and relocate' that make the city as shite as it is with their 'nothing we can do about it' attitude.

[Sue Denim..]

You've hit the nail square on the head. Why should I fuck off from a damn good job, the kids up and move from a good school all because our council is fucking up a potential goldmine city?

And it's people that reply ' Just fuck off and relocate' that make the city as shite as it is with their 'nothing we can do about it' attitude.

...... and before someone quotes me here, a good job and a good school do not a good city make.

[kingofdeon]

...... and before someone quotes me here, a good job and a good school do not a good city make.

what would you do to make it better then? I always hear about how bad it is - so please enlighten me on how it could be better. and dont get me wrong it could be improved. But if its so bad then surely you have suggestions on how? And i admit the council is a fucking joke....

[Bigsby]

My most hated element of Aberdeen is the thoroughly vile Sat night, union street dumping spree - where the most disgusting people imaginable congregate and fully release the steam valve that has seemingly come under so much pressure from another week changing tyres at KwikFit - when the lurking insecurities of many repressed beings come forward simultaneously and manifest themselves in swaggering leers and grimy, stomped-on chip boxes.

Brilliant.

For what it's worth, I like hearing Doric, but only "teuchter" Doric.

I put Doric in two categories, "teuchter" Doric (think Robbie Shepherd), and "toonser" Doric (think people who hang around MacDonalds saying things like "Himmin y'fuckin' bam, y'spilt ma fuckin' chips y'cunt").

I suspect most of the KwikFit fitters/football obsessed former managers speak Doric of the toonser variety.

Keep we teuchters out of this.

[thehunger]

Spot-on!

I actively avoid Union St. at weekends.

If i do have to drive down there the doors are locked because if you even attempt to slow down some bawbag will try and open a door.

Haha I lock the car doors when I'm driving down Union St. weekend nights too. Just incase...

Aberdeen on a weekend night is a bit terrifying. Especially Belmont St./Union St. But I don't really mind it most of the time, it's better than Turriff.

[Alkaline]

Aberdeen is not a dangerous city at any time of the week. Try some areas of Sydney, Melbourne, Glasgow and Paris if you really want to feel like you should be wearing a stab vest and driving with your doors locked.

[FatHand]

A city is only as shit as you make it. I am a glass is half full kind of person though.

I have great friends, a great flat, an alright job and plenty of interesting music in my life. I love Aberdeen for all of these things. I always have somewhere to display my latest creations should I want to. There are very few barriers in your way should you want to do this. This is what makes Aberdeen great. You can complain all you like about shit bands in Aberdeen but the truth is half of you who play in reasonably good bands now have played in a shit one at some point. Would you be where you are now if you didn't have those initial chances?

The oil industry provides a lot of jobs at the moment. As an industry it changes all the time, and has to as the oil becomes harder to access. But when it runs out I will still have a great flat, and great friends and my music. I will need a new job though.

It has dinking related problems but this is the same everywhere. You think any Scottish city is nice to walk/drive about sober between 10pm and 4am at the weekend???

Most of you complainers won't find any city lives up to expectation.

[Jim Stax]

Lets not mistake the Doric dialect for the incomprehensible common lingo that I, an Aberdonian, cant even understand, more often than not. Not pronouncing words properly and not moving your gob when you speak is not Doric.

[lovers_spit]

Complaining about things is as least a start, keeping your head down trying to behave like everyone else is the truly cowardly thing.

Complaining means fuck all unless you make an effort to change things. Sitting back, moaning is worse than keeping your head down.

And why is keeping your head down trying to behave like everything else necesarily a bad thing? If you enjoy living here why look for excuses to complain?

[Bigsby]

Lets not mistake the Doric dialect for the incomprehensible common lingo that I, an Aberdonian, cant even understand, more often than not. Not pronouncing words properly and not moving your gob when you speak is not Doric.

No, that's "toonser Doric".

[Stripey]

Complaining means fuck all unless you make an effort to change things. Sitting back, moaning is worse than keeping your head down.

And why is keeping your head down trying to behave like everything else necesarily a bad thing? If you enjoy living here why look for excuses to complain?

Complaining is good and people ought to do it more often.

For example, another thing I hate about aberdeen is the state of most of the bakeries and sandwhich shops (fuck it, local cuisine on the whole). Most of that shit isn't fit to feed to animals, letalone appetising. Scotch pies? Sausage rolls made of stinking beef and the stodgiest pastry imaginable? Orange cheese? It's sickening, you can't even buy a decent loaf of bread in this dump.

edit> but the locals just accept it and keep their heads down and think its a treat to eat that swill.

[Le Stu]

No, that's "toonser Doric".

As apposed to "mealer Doric?"

Can't understand a fucking word of either, and i grew up in Turra! Ebonics of scotland, etc.

[Guest idol_wild]

...... and before someone quotes me here, a good job and a good school do not a good city make.

So what exactly are your problems with Aberdeen?

It must be a fairly exhaustative list if you feel it's the worst city in Scotland.

[Shaki]

*sigh*

The thing about that quote, and quite a big deal was made about it at the time and has been since, is it lacks context. Put into the context of the book as a whole you realise it's just another example of what an utter cunt the character who's saying that is. He's egotistical, narcissistic, hates everyone else and is a mass murdering serial killer.

The main character, who's a good, nice guy, actually likes Aberdeen in the book.

Aye, I just liked the passage because it was an amusing diatribe from one extreme point of view. I only read the book recently and didn't realise there was a hoo-ha about it when it was released. If there was a big deal about it, presumably from Aberdonians, then maybe that just goes to prove the point that the character was making?! As an aside, it's worth a read if you can suspend your disbelief for the action/thriller element of the story.

I don't think that Aberdeen has a larger percentage of parochial dimwits per capita than any other British city. The comparison between Union Street and Sauchihall Street on a weekend night is a good one.

Doric and an Aberdeen accent should not be confused and the use of either does not eqate to a lack of intelligence as people's comments along the lines of "can't even speak proper English" seem to suggest. I ken plenty folk fae Torry and the likes fa spik like 'is and are affa clivvir loons and quines.

Oh aye, and if ye dinna love the Dons then ye can get tae fuck

[Chris]

you can't even buy a decent loaf of bread in this dump.

I know of at least 2 artisan bakeries in or near the city centre. Haven't tried them myself but I'm pretty sure you could get a decent loaf from them.

As for sandwich shops G-Dawgs on Holburn Street, despite the shit name, has some excellent sandwich choices that you don't find in the other city centre shops.

[His Majesty]

Aberdeen is really only one main street and a bunch of housing estates, but every moan aimed at the people here applies to any city, there are people all over the world who do really stupid things.

I'm sensing that some people who move away think they are superior to those that stay, which is rather pathetic.

Glasgow and Edinburgh will always have more work, social and cultural opportunities available simply because of their location and size. That's the only real difference between here and those cities, there are simply less options, but it doesn't mean that you cannot live a full and happy life here.

Regarding music/art etc, there is as much creativity here as anywhere else, it's just on a smaller scale.

If Aberdeen wants to move forward and progress, then it has to take on things like Trumps golf course. It needs to encourage such investments, not turn them away.

Sadly, the recent council cuts seem to have hit the city hard already, hopefully things will eventually get better in the near future. The future of Aberdeen seems a little bleak at the moment though!

Just some of my thoughts.

[Chris]

I only read the book recently and didn't realise there was a hoo-ha about it when it was released. If there was a big deal about it, presumably from Aberdonians,

The hoo-ha was from aging councilors who are often quick to give an overly defensive soundbite when confronted with criticism of their city. Of course the context was never given in any of the articles published at the time.

[Guest treader.]

Did you know...Sicily has pretty much the same population as Scotland.

My most hated element of Aberdeen is the thoroughly vile Sat night, union street dumping spree - where the most disgusting people imaginable congregate and fully release the steam valve that has seemingly come under so much pressure from another week changing tyres at KwikFit - when the lurking insecurities of many repressed beings come forward simultaneously and manifest themselves in swaggering leers and grimy, stomped-on chip boxes.

this paragraph is a brilliant read. it's absolutely on the money.

[Inkster]

You could improve Aberdeen by relocating it to the central belt...

In all seriousness though Aberdeen's not the worst but it'll never be the best. Stewart Milne homes at Kepplestone does not class as re-development to me. You only need to look at the structures that are being built along the Clyde at reasonable* prices.

Everything within Aberdeen is connected to the oil industry and when the finite resource eventually dries up then the city is fooked! We need new generation companies creating employment not another helicopter firm or recruitment place that's sole purpose is to pile more people onto rigs in the North Sea or other world destinations.

Aberdeen is slowly being monopolised by everything within that chosen sector e.g. how many Asda's or Tesco's does one city need?!

You could say I have a good job here but I don't. I have a well payed job and there's a big difference between the two.

I'm moving away soon and I do hope I want to return to the city some day as I have many fond memories here but the place has become stale to me. If I go out in town, it's the same places, same faces...I need a break to appreciate the place again.

* Average price being about 100k for a 2 bed flat new build, 15 minutes from the town centre

[Guest idol_wild]

Aberdeen is slowly being monopolised by everything within that chosen sector e.g. how many Asda's or Tesco's does one city need?!

More. I am near absolutely none of them.

[Jim Stax]

Rose Street, Thistle street area (Little Chelsea apparently) has some nice outlets for good food. I have used the place 'The Food Story (I think) couple of times on my boys lunch break and the grub is great. All produced in the north east I believe. The bread is fab!

It's a case of sourcing these places and repeatedly using them when you find them. Encouraging local, good, businesses and making your belly feel nice is win win!

An example of lifting up above our own negative perceptions of Aberdeen and enjoying the better things that are there to be had. Which in turn makes it not so bad to live here. Works for me but I do go through phases.

Some bugger open a nice 100-130 capacity music venue with a very good music policy to please my ears and keep the promoters happy!