Last film you watched?

[Lemonade]

Predator. I don't need to tell you about it - you've seen it. I found out that I can no longer watch it without having inappropriate flashbacks to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lFZAyZPjV0

I recorded this last night. That's my Friday night sorted. Predator and a nice glass of Merlo.... er, beer.

[Woodsinho]

I recorded this last night. That's my Friday night sorted. Predator and a nice glass of Merlo.... er, beer.

I totally wasn't drinking wine while I was watching it. Oh no. That would be a ridiculous thing to do that I would never do.

[TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH]

How many Oscars did Predator win? I am assuming all of them.

[Stroopy121]

xx

[MikeyEB]

How many Oscars did Predator win? I am assuming all of them.

I believe it picked up 'Best Educational Film' for it's depiction of jungle survival techniques as well as a stunning demonstration on how to survive a nuclear blast.

Step 1 - Jump in ditch

Step 2 - Duck.

Step 3 - Cover

Step 4- Get to da Choppa.

[Soda Jerk]

How many Oscars did Predator win? I am assuming all of them.

Pretty sure it won the Oscar for Best Film Ever Made, which is the most important Oscar.

[Woodsinho]

xx

ooooo, so close. I would have accepted:

or

[Stroopy121]

The Expendables 2

Absolutely amazing. Pure, unapologetically woeful cheesy action bliss. I fucking adored it. Some excellent LOL kills and one-liners. There were plenty of references to the cast's careers which always felt uncomfortable and shoehorned in which made them even better. Just a wonderful piece of cinema. If you want cheesy action, there is no better example.

10/10

[Jaaakkkeee]

The Change-Up

After pissing in a fountain on a drunken night out, Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds swap bodies a la Freaky Friday. I'm not a fan of Ryan Reynolds, he's an alright actor, just his parts are pretty poop. But in this he spends most the film basically doing an impression of Jason Bateman. And vice-versa, which is funnier. The wifey that's in most of Judd Apatow's films that's married to him is in this and is also hilarious. And you see loads of boobies.

8/10

[Lemonade]

I stumbled across an odd little film called Henry Poole Is Here, a sort of wistful melodrama about a terminally ill guy who moves into an empty house to die alone and be miserable but his life is turned upside down when his ultra-religious neighbour discovers what she believes to be an apparition of Christ on the wall of his house. Pretty soon his yard is full of people praying and all he wants is to be left alone. Very good film, although it certainly alludes throughout to the existence of Christ and miracles, it never quiet has the conviction to come right out and say it, kinda leaving it up to the viewer. Very good film though, Luke Wilson is really good.

****

[The Milner]

The Expendables 2

Absolutely amazing. Pure, unapologetically woeful cheesy action bliss. I fucking adored it. Some excellent LOL kills and one-liners. There were plenty of references to the cast's careers which always felt uncomfortable and shoehorned in which made them even better. Just a wonderful piece of cinema. If you want cheesy action, there is no better example.

10/10

I was just going to come in and post a review of that film! Incredible couple of hours of action, its everything an action film should be, cheesy, chaotic, and brutal. Statham just runs about knifing cunts its brilliant. Easily the best film new film ive seen since the first one.

[Stroopy121]

Re-watched Watchmen at the weekend.

I fucking LOVE this movie. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is such an unmitigated cunt as The Comedian, total love-to-hate character. Rorschach is brutal in it, too. His character feels like watching a grittier version of Dark Knight era Batman without the fancy toys and shit.

For those unfamiliar with the premise - a team of superheroes/masked vigilantes in the 40's were all toasted as heroes but by the 80's (when the film is set) then the media and the public have turned against them. The central plotline is Rorschach investigating the possibility of someone having all the former/now-retired Watchmen/superheroes killed.

Long movie, 2hrs40. It doesn't drag it's arse as much as you'd expect from a film nearly 3 hours long. It could do with having around 20 minutes cut from it, but I'm fucked if I can think of any of the plot which is superfluous if I'm honest. Stoating film.

9/10

xx

[Old Gold]

I watched The Dark Knight Rises last night.

So basically, it's Batman 3, and everyone hates Batman. A bunch of commies lead by the Churchill Dog throw Batman in a well and turn Gotham into a sort of police state under fear of nuclear annihilation. I don't know how many of you will have not seen this while giving a damn about spoilers, so I'll keep the criticism vague - although you probably want to avoid reading further if you're really looking forward to seeing the film or have a giant crush on the rubber-suited man or Christopher Nolan.

Basically, it does not strike a good balance between comic book film and chin stroker. It wants to have it's cake and eat it. The general plot (although I found it hard to maintain my attention), is pretty far out, yet it's like it's being delivered by the worst story teller in the pub. Opting for an ensemble cast is a dull move too, because it ends up with Batman doing pretty much hee-haw until the very end and the audience being forced to watch Geeg Levitt and Comish Gordon running around half the time being boring as fuck. The bad guys are boring as fuck. The dialogue was fucking awful - Batman has some pure stinkin' one liners, the chemistry between Cat Woman and Batman is pish and everyone struts about monologuing like they can't go past breakfast without firing out a boring soliloquy. I know it's a graphic novel film or whatever, but too much talk, not enough rock New Adventures of Batman 3. Finally, Michael Cane's a bit of a waste - I know Alfred's not a hardman or anything, but the guy that played him up to and including Batman & Robin managed to stir some emotion into the mix without snivelling like he'd burned the tea. Finally, I hated the vehicles - The goofy-tyres bat-cycle is less cool than a regular motorbike, and the bat-copter looked like the Watchmen's flying machine wearing a Decepticon.

Anyway, I did like some things: When Batman is not trapped down a well and off crime-barking-at-duty, he's the most like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho in the series yet. See, if you want a film that discusses the human condition with Christian Bale in it wearing a mask of some sort, watch that.

The greatest thing about the film was Anne Hathaway. Anne Fucking Hathaway Her's is the only image worthy of representing. She took a dark piss all over everyone else in the film. Her character's sweet kung fu and non-retarded costume makes Batman look like a sluggish old wanker. She's a sexy mama, and as a character does fuckloads more to move the plot along and save the day.

Full disclosure: I think comics are generally for teenagers who aren't yet mature enough to read good shit like Hemmingway. I enjoyed the previous film, although Batman Begins didn't particularly hold my attention. I'm not majorly bothered about Batman in any media... but would I have disliked it less if it hadn't been a Batman film? Probably. I feel the film makers may not have gone out of their way to bore the hell out of me in the name of attempting to make a trilogy-rounding off, first year studying philosophy go at the Batman franchise. The whole message of this film was pretty much rounded up by the ending of the previous film anyway. This adds pretty much fuck all.

1 Anne Hathaway out of 5 Christopher-Nolans-enjoying-the-smell-of-his-own-ringpiece. Thanks for reading.

[Stroopy121]

Full disclosure: I think comics are generally for teenagers who aren't yet mature enough to read good shit like Hemmingway.

That's a mighty pretentious thing to say when you're reviewing a 12A rated film.

xx

[Old Gold]

You should see the bile I wrote about The Rescuers.

[Captain America]

You should see the bile I wrote about The Rescuers.

You shut your whore mouth before you get hurt.

[Flights]

Nothing excites me less than Batman films without Adam West in them.

Last night me and the missus watched Predator 2. Sterling performance from Danny Glover. He's no Arnie and there's certainly not someone like Carl Weathers in it but it's a solid 80's action cheese fest. The plot makes about as much sense as a left handed hammer but who gives a shit about that? I always get confused at the end when the Predators give Danny Glover an old pistol as a reward. They have all this super hi tech Alien wizardry shit and what do they give him as a reward? An old pistol. What a great bunch of lads.

4 Victorian Flint Lock Pistols out of 5

[Guest davetherave]

Nothing excites me less than Batman films without Adam West in them.

It worries me that you get excited at the sight of Adam West in tights

[Lemonade]

Nothing excites me less than Batman films without Adam West in them.

Last night me and the missus watched Predator 2. Sterling performance from Danny Glover. He's no Arnie and there's certainly not someone like Carl Weathers in it but it's a solid 80's action cheese fest. The plot makes about as much sense as a left handed hammer but who gives a shit about that? I always get confused at the end when the Predators give Danny Glover an old pistol as a reward. They have all this super hi tech Alien wizardry shit and what do they give him as a reward? An old pistol. What a great bunch of lads.

4 Victorian Flint Lock Pistols out of 5

I had that on video as a 13 year old, I just rewound and watched the bit where you could see the woman's hairy fanny over and over again. That was a big deal in the early 90s before porn was readily available. I don't think I ever watched the rest of the film.

[Guest davetherave]

I had that on video as a 13 year old, I just rewound and watched the bit where you could see the woman's hairy fanny over and over again. That was a big deal in the early 90s before porn was readily available. I don't think I ever watched the rest of the film.

I dont remember a hairy fanny in the first batman film, although I thought Robin was a bit of a twat

[Gypsum_Fantastic]

Full disclosure: I think comics are generally for teenagers who aren't yet mature enough to read good shit like Hemmingway.

Have you read many comics?

[Old Gold]

Have you read many comics?

I don't have anything against comics really. I liked the Hellboy, Watchmen, Tank Girl and Iron Man films. I even liked Batman and Robin. Comics are not a source that work for me when they neglect action, explosions and sweet zingers for serious business.

[Flights]

It worries me that you get excited at the sight of Adam West in tights

It's not the tights it's the whole attitude he has to crime solving. He doesn't seem to give a fuck about anything.

I struggle to 'get' the whole Batman being hella dark thing. Doesn't really do it for me. I just can't connect with a character who dresses like such a prick but begs us to take him seriously.

[Jaaakkkeee]

It's not the tights it's the whole attitude he has to crime solving. He doesn't seem to give a fuck about anything.

I struggle to 'get' the whole Batman being hella dark thing. Doesn't really do it for me. I just can't connect with a character who dresses like such a prick but begs us to take him seriously.

You should read the comics. He's a right dark bastard.

[Flights]

You should read the comics. He's a right dark bastard.

He still dresses like an absolute dick though. Why dress up like that? What does it achieve? I've never liked 'super heroes' the big attention seeking fannys. If you were that dark I doubt you'd be prancing about in a latex suit hanging about with a young lad. He's a shite hero as well. Arnie and Carl Weathers would fucking dump all over Batman before he could even get his can of Austrian Repellent Bat spray out of his fucking utility belt.