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Last film you watched?


Lemonade

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Candyman - I bought this because I remember this being terrifying when I was a kid (plus it's by Clive barker), however it's really not scary at all. A couple of cheap scares (people jumping out during quite bits, etc.) but on the whole, a let down. The "making of" documentary speaks about people running out of the cinema in terror because they couldnt take it any more. Well they must have been pussies in 1992,

**

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I happened on He's Just Not That Into You last night as it was starting. Fully appreciating that I most likely am not its target demographic, I decided to start watching it anyway. I gave up after about 45 minutes. The fact it was based on a self-help book makes me decidedly uneasy. It portrayed all the female characters in it as woefully insecure, co-dependent stereotypes who couldn't carry out day-to-day tasks without male attention, and the lead person (who you were obviously supposed to sympathise with) as a completely charmless, passive-obsessive lunatic. Completely and utterly devoid of redeeming features. *

In other news, I saw The Joneses at the cinema yesterday too, which I thought was pretty good. A weird mixture of humour and seriousness, and if you can once get into the vaguely implausible storyline it's pretty enjoyable. ***1/2

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Halloween II

The Rob Zombie one. I quite liked his first one taken away from any pointless comparison to John Carpenter's classic, this one was just a bit 'meh'. Every killing seemed to require several extra knife blows just to be sure. 5/10.

A Perfect Getaway

Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich play newlyweds who are on honeymoon in a remote area of Hawaii and encounter 2 other couples who may or may not have had something to do with a recent killing of another couple. Seen better, seen worse. 6/10.

Planet of the Apes

The Tim Burton one. Not as good as the original, not as bad as it's reputation. The use of quotes from the original in a different and no doubt thought 'clever' manner still irritates. The ending is still fucking stupid though. 7/10.

Other than that I found both series of 'I'm Alan Partridge' while flicking through BT Vision so just had to watch them, even though I've got the DVD's and have seen them a million times. Still can't decide which series is my favourite, too close to call.

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Troy

Great zeus this movie is bad. Brian Cox (who seems to be having a great time) aside, everyone is taking it far, far too seriously and the end result is a 3 hour "epic" which is so bad it actually does a better job of spoofing 300 than Meet The Spartans (not that I've suffered through that, but I assume it's shit).

I spent the middle hour watching an episode of The Wire, didn't seem to affect my enjoyment of this film at all so fuck knows what they were doing in between landing on the beach and taking the city.

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Iron Man 2. Not my usual cup of tea but I actually really enjoyed it. Gwyneth Paltrow wasn't half as annoying as I expected!

I enjoyed Iron Man 2 on the whole, but it was pretty average. What was with the final big fight scene as well?

They spent about 20 minutes giving the useless drones extravagent deaths and a heriocly over the top death scene. Then Ivan finally shows up and essentially gets pimp slapped in 20 seconds.

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Wow! someone finally made a movie out of a "Yes" album cover. I guess it had to happen sooner or later. Roger Dean will be smiling down from heaven. If he's there. Or even dead. Does anyone know?

The movie? - very blue and green, with the odd dash of yellow. Same tired old story, but visually engaging. Meh+

At almost 60 years old, Stephen Lang (The Colonel), looked like he'd been hewn out of granite. Great character actor - watch him in "Public Enemies", he's the best thing about it.

Harry Brown

Enjoyable load of complete and utter bobbins. Starts well, then gets silly. Michael Caine - who plays a big guy in bad shape - is great.

Meh++

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Troy

Great zeus this movie is bad. Brian Cox (who seems to be having a great time) aside, everyone is taking it far, far too seriously and the end result is a 3 hour "epic" which is so bad it actually does a better job of spoofing 300 than Meet The Spartans (not that I've suffered through that, but I assume it's shit).

I spent the middle hour watching an episode of The Wire, didn't seem to affect my enjoyment of this film at all so fuck knows what they were doing in between landing on the beach and taking the city.

I taped that off the TV months ago and haven't got round to watching it. I think I'll just delete it and free up 3hrs + of space. Thanks for saving me the time :)

I also have The Sentinel taped - watch or delete folks?

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Finally saw Kick Ass yesterday. It was fucking brilliant and the actions scenes were awesome. Hit Girl and Big Daddy were ace, the dialogue was ace and everything about it was just ace. 20,0001717/10

Then went to see Iron Man 2 which was good but not a patch on the first. Nothing bad about it per se, but I agree with Captain America about the penultimate fight scene. The references to 'The Avengers' has me excited though. Very, very excited.

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Finally saw Kick Ass yesterday. It was fucking brilliant and the actions scenes were awesome. Hit Girl and Big Daddy were ace, the dialogue was ace and everything about it was just ace. 20,0001717/10

Then went to see Iron Man 2 which was good but not a patch on the first. Nothing bad about it per se, but I agree with Captain America about the penultimate fight scene. The references to 'The Avengers' has me excited though. Very, very excited.

Ah - but did you watch the bit after the credits? That was pretty sweet.

Got bored the other night and watched the god-awful Mutant Chronicles. ALMOST as bad as an Uwe Bol film. May have to watch an old classic like Willow to balance that one out... Or GI Joe - oh wait... it too is fucking terrible.

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I very rarely get time to go to the cinema but ended up going to see Kick Ass again as my missus wanted to see it, just as good 2nd time around (maybe better?), a stonkingly good film. 9.9/10

While away in the frozen wastes of the Norwegian mountains recently watched:

Harry Bown - loved it, very "now" painting life in British estates with touches of black humour, a definited 9/10

Serenity (again) - the directors cut this time, such a good film and miss these characters from Firefly, the world needs more psycho unhinged unstoppable killing machine River! 9.5/10

Max Manus - A film mostly in Norwegian though partly shot in Scotland, basically about a famous Norwegian geezer blowing up German ships etc in WW2, nicely done though and pretty close to the true story, enjoyed it, 8/10

Star Trek XI (forced to sit through it again with a friend) - mostly drank beer and tried to avoid the pish on screen, hate this film with a passion, vies with Transformers 2 with the amount of plot holes, pish locational geography and logic failings, downgraded to 1/10

Dark City - watched the blu ray version (though not the greatest transfer), quality quirky sci fi, very dark with some amazing set design, 8.5/10

New In Town - Minnesota based hokum about the local food factory shutting down, watched it as I have worked in that general area where it is set. Was actually better than I expected with a few humouress pieces though not what you would call a cutting edge film and Zelwegger was only slightly annoying in it but counters that by having a very nice bottom. 5.5/10

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