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You Say Smeaton I Say Scam


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Yeah, so what's the deal with this dude again?

That week the "terrorist attack" at Glasgow airport happened, I recall two different people stealing the cover-pages of some daily/weekly newspapers.

The first "hero" claimed he "kicked burning terrorist so hard in the balls that he tore a tendon in his foot".

Well done. Not only has he made the headlines, but he also got the people's brownie points by kicking a terrorist. I think we should maybe give him a bit more sympathy too. Especially after he returned to his car after the ordeal to find a parking fine attached to the windscreen wiper. Screw those authority types, I'm a HERO goddamnit!!

What I really like here is how some "dude" can tell the difference between a terrorist attack and an acident in a city where you get terrorist attacks as often as airplanes accidentally fly into mulit-storey buildings. Oops.

So now, remember...if you see a burning human being, don't put them out...kick them between the legs!!!

Fast forward a day or two and a few more headlines and here we have another "dude" making the headlines for an incident that is now a few days old.

What was his name again....John Smeaton, yeah? Good.

Apparently, this man became a hero overnight. He's got like his own websites, and t-shirt brand and other memoribilia.

He REALLY showed that terrorist who's boss! Though the only thing that seemed to have escaped me is what it actually was that he DID to become the everyday-hero. After intensely studying the two or three pages the Daily Record devoted to John Smeaton, I failed to notice an account of his actions. Was it verbal abuse? He must have talked some right sense into that terrorist, innit.

I was actually considering speaking up to the papers about how I gave one of them terrorist the most evil of evil looks right there. But I think my alibi would have been pretty bad. Oh well. Next time, eh?

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Yeah, so what's the deal with this dude again?

That week the "terrorist attack" at Glasgow airport happened, I recall two different people stealing the cover-pages of some daily/weekly newspapers.

The first "hero" claimed he "kicked burning terrorist so hard in the balls that he tore a tendon in his foot".

Well done. Not only has he made the headlines, but he also got the people's brownie points by kicking a terrorist. I think we should maybe give him a bit more sympathy too. Especially after he returned to his car after the ordeal to find a parking fine attached to the windscreen wiper. Screw those authority types, I'm a HERO goddamnit!!

What I really like here is how some "dude" can tell the difference between a terrorist attack and an acident in a city where you get terrorist attacks as often as airplanes accidentally fly into mulit-storey buildings. Oops.

So now, remember...if you see a burning human being, don't put them out...kick them between the legs!!!

Fast forward a day or two and a few more headlines and here we have another "dude" making the headlines for an incident that is now a few days old.

What was his name again....John Smeaton, yeah? Good.

Apparently, this man became a hero overnight. He's got like his own websites, and t-shirt brand and other memoribilia.

He REALLY showed that terrorist who's boss! Though the only thing that seemed to have escaped me is what it actually was that he DID to become the everyday-hero. After intensely studying the two or three pages the Daily Record devoted to John Smeaton, I failed to notice an account of his actions. Was it verbal abuse? He must have talked some right sense into that terrorist, innit.

I was actually considering speaking up to the papers about how I gave one of them terrorist the most evil of evil looks right there. But I think my alibi would have been pretty bad. Oh well. Next time, eh?

What's your actual point? If you're just trying to find out what exactly it was that John Smeaton did, you could have had your answer courtesy of google, youtube etc well fast, like. Though it's entirely understandable to come away from reading an article in the Daily Record and not have any further knowledge...

This has some good links

John Smeaton (baggage handler) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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The daily record is trash. 3 pages....what a waste.

But you have to remember that three pages in the Daily Record is probably equal to about a quarter page in any decent newspaper. There'll be massive pictures of him, paragraphs in capital letters, a few sentences about immigrants being the reason why a member in your family is ill, and some unattractive girl holding a sign saying "WIN A HOLIDAY TO SOME SHIT ISLAND THAT'S BEEN RUINED BY DRUNKEN BRIT TOURISTS!"

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Been a rough day I take it?

oh no no....there has just been nothing this year that annoyed me so much as far as how gullible some of the media organisations think us.

now that you mention it, i had to copy a john smeaton poster at work today.

i havent been this miserable since the goth crusade in 1969.

most people dont know about it because it got vastly overshadowed by woodstock.

the IRONY is unbearable.

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But you have to remember that three pages in the Daily Record is probably equal to about a quarter page in any decent newspaper. There'll be massive pictures of him, paragraphs in capital letters, a few sentences about immigrants being the reason why a member in your family is ill, and some unattractive girl holding a sign saying "WIN A HOLIDAY TO SOME SHIT ISLAND THAT'S BEEN RUINED BY DRUNKEN BRIT TOURISTS!"

I thought immigrants killed Diana?

That's what the Daily Express said:rolleyes:

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I thought immigrants killed Diana?

That's what the Daily Express said:rolleyes:

Nah, the Daily Express think the unemployed killed her. They got cheap tickets for the Channel Tunnel, but that doesn't even matter, as they were raking in 150,000,000,000,000 a year in benefits, or something...

I'd almost forgotten how hilarious it is that every 2nd day the front page of the Daily Express features a story about Diana.

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I think the point of this post is: what did he actually do? He stepped in on a fight basically. He did a decent thing, helped out a guy who was out numbered, which is commendable, but it's not like he single handedly stopped the attack. If he'd swerved his car into that of the terrorists, thus diverting the whole thing then fair enough, but it's a bit much hailing him as a hero just because he chucked down his tab and lunged into a fight.

The pledge to buy him 1000 pints makes me laugh too. Could this story get more stereotypically scottish? Working class guy gets involved in a fight and is rewarded with copious amounts of booze :rolleyes:

/rant and snobbery :p

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The pledge to buy him 1000 pints makes me laugh too. Could this story get more stereotypically scottish? Working class guy gets involved in a fight and is rewarded with copious amounts of booze :rolleyes:

/rant and snobbery :p

it's actually around 4000 and rising (1200 pints or so)...and yes, I thought that very same thying "typical, obvious and so sterotypical" - how about donating 4000 to burns victims? no, that'd be a waste of money.

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it's actually around 4000 and rising (1200 pints or so)...and yes, I thought that very same thying "typical, obvious and so sterotypical" - how about donating 4000 to burns victims? no, that'd be a waste of money.

Is he not going to use a portion of the pints for a staff night out, and then donate the rest of the money to charity?

Also, I think it's a little condescending to say that he just 'stepped into a fight,' a burning man who is attacking people and trying to blow up a vehicle is a little more elaborate and dangerous than Justice Mill Lane at 3am. And how is swerving a car into their car preventing the whole thing? The car just crashed into a wall!

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I think the point of this post is: what did he actually do? He stepped in on a fight basically. He did a decent thing, helped out a guy who was out numbered, which is commendable, but it's not like he single handedly stopped the attack. If he'd swerved his car into that of the terrorists, thus diverting the whole thing then fair enough, but it's a bit much hailing him as a hero just because he chucked down his tab and lunged into a fight.

The pledge to buy him 1000 pints makes me laugh too. Could this story get more stereotypically scottish? Working class guy gets involved in a fight and is rewarded with copious amounts of booze :rolleyes:

/rant and snobbery :p

yes! this was kind of my point. but the smeaton dude didn't even step into a fight. as far as the papers are concerned, he did nothing more than condemn that puny attempt at "terrorism".

Is he not going to use a portion of the pints for a staff night out, and then donate the rest of the money to charity?

Also, I think it's a little condescending to say that he just 'stepped into a fight,' a burning man who is attacking people and trying to blow up a vehicle is a little more elaborate and dangerous than Justice Mill Lane at 3am. And how is swerving a car into their car preventing the whole thing? The car just crashed into a wall!

though in all honesty, i don't think this burning man was in any shape to attack anyone. haha.

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yes! this was kind of my point. but the smeaton dude didn't even step into a fight. as far as the papers are concerned, he did nothing more than condemn that puny attempt at "terrorism".

though in all honesty, i don't think this burning man was in any shape to attack anyone. haha.

Adrenalin can answer for a lot of things! I'm sure he wasn't in the same state as Anakin in episode three, either... Though I reckon it would have been wise to shout "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" instead of Allah, might have made people believe it was an accident.

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Is he not going to use a portion of the pints for a staff night out, and then donate the rest of the money to charity?

Also, I think it's a little condescending to say that he just 'stepped into a fight,' a burning man who is attacking people and trying to blow up a vehicle is a little more elaborate and dangerous than Justice Mill Lane at 3am. And how is swerving a car into their car preventing the whole thing? The car just crashed into a wall!

To be honest I haven't really followed the whole story. As far as I was aware the terrorists were being subdued by a policeman, they weren't attacking anyone. Obviously they'd be fighting back, but what about the policeman? Has anyone printed a story about how he (or indeed she) heroically dealed with the situation?

(Like I say, I haven't followed the story, maybe someone has, but it seems unlikely)

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the latest twist in the story is that these guys were pumped on horse tranquilizer or something along those lines. which is a good explanation to me about how they didn't mind being on fire.

but really, these so-called "terrorists" are a bunch of pussies.

this is the real shizz:

monkonfire.jpg

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the latest twist in the story is that these guys were pumped on horse tranquilizer or something along those lines. which is a good explanation to me about how they didn't mind being on fire.

but really, these so-called "terrorists" are a bunch of pussies.

this is the real shizz:

monkonfire.jpg

Except...that monk isn't a terrorist.

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  • 1 month later...
Guest DustyDeviada
Yeah, so what's the deal with this dude again?

That week the "terrorist attack" at Glasgow airport happened, I recall two different people stealing the cover-pages of some daily/weekly newspapers.

The first "hero" claimed he "kicked burning terrorist so hard in the balls that he tore a tendon in his foot".

Well done. Not only has he made the headlines, but he also got the people's brownie points by kicking a terrorist. I think we should maybe give him a bit more sympathy too. Especially after he returned to his car after the ordeal to find a parking fine attached to the windscreen wiper. Screw those authority types, I'm a HERO goddamnit!!

What I really like here is how some "dude" can tell the difference between a terrorist attack and an acident in a city where you get terrorist attacks as often as airplanes accidentally fly into mulit-storey buildings. Oops.

So now, remember...if you see a burning human being, don't put them out...kick them between the legs!!!

Fast forward a day or two and a few more headlines and here we have another "dude" making the headlines for an incident that is now a few days old.

What was his name again....John Smeaton, yeah? Good.

Apparently, this man became a hero overnight. He's got like his own websites, and t-shirt brand and other memoribilia.

He REALLY showed that terrorist who's boss! Though the only thing that seemed to have escaped me is what it actually was that he DID to become the everyday-hero. After intensely studying the two or three pages the Daily Record devoted to John Smeaton, I failed to notice an account of his actions. Was it verbal abuse? He must have talked some right sense into that terrorist, innit.

I was actually considering speaking up to the papers about how I gave one of them terrorist the most evil of evil looks right there. But I think my alibi would have been pretty bad. Oh well. Next time, eh?

I'm sure you'll be delighted to learn that "Smeato" has been given his own weekly column in The Sun, which he writes entirely by himself, oh yes.

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I'm sure you'll be delighted to learn that "Smeato" has been given his own weekly column in The Sun, which he writes entirely by himself, oh yes.

man, that guy has seen and done it all!

why dont we put him in gordon browns place?

he knows how to grab terrorism by the balls.....

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