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Taxi Ranks


Benji

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Your always guaranteed to be provided with some form of entertainment at 3am in a Taxi Rank..

.. So last night we got started on by someone who couldn't walk. Not as if we could even say Taxi!

It was probably one of the funniest things I've seen in my life :D Anyone else got stories?

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I've never been started on in a maxi rank but it always amazes me how much of a prick some people make of themselves. People who try to jump the que piss me off, especially when they succeed because the person they cheat in front of is equally wasted and has the "naeee problemmm mate" attitude towards them.

I did once see a guy get "tae punted" in the balls by his missus because he kept stealing chips from her. It was funny, she actually stepped back a bit in order to get a decent swing at them...

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we once got started on in the taxi rank beside burger king while i was being assisted in walking by my brother and my now fiance. i'd torn the ligaments in my ankle doing a scissor kick off a podium in moshulu :)

anyway, a group of 3 lads asked chris for a cigarette and as he only had one or two left he refused so they started giving him shit then turned on me and heather. real tough guys eh? starting a fight with a girl and a who's obviously unable to fight back properly. thankfully they didn't quite muster the cowardly energy to beat us up over a fucking cigarette but it made a poor night even worse.

the best one wasn't at a taxi rank but one halloween when myself and chris were dressed as death(see my avatar) and a ninja respectively. we were in sizzlers buying a burger when some ned asked for a shot of my carved skull stick(or doom stick as we like to call it). i naturally declined as the guy was obviously going to run off with it and smack someone over the head with it for a laugh. when we got our burgers we started to walk out and the guy grabbed my stick and started running with it. now, i'm quite attached to the doom stick so i held on as tight as i could while shouting at the idiot to let go. he had his head down while he was running and rather stupidly ran head first into a brick wall.

any other time i'd have laughed my ass off but i knew that he was going to be pissed off and right enough he turned round and blamed me. despite my protests that a) it was his own fault and b) i wasn't going to fight him he decided the best course of action was to start beating the crap out of me. obviously i wasn't getting enough of a beating cause his mate then decided to smack me in the back of the head as well. eventually chris decided to help out and managed to get a couple of sweet kicks into the guys while taking a few hefty punches himself. this made them rethink their strategy a bit and when a passing couple yelled at them to stop they ran off.

unfortunately we both got our glasses knocked off and had to get the couple who'd helped us to find them on the ground for us as we couldn't see them. doh. the best part though was that neither of us dropped our burgers and i kept the doom stick.

i still don't understand why anyone would pick a fight with death and a ninja.

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I don't know about bad stories, but I remember one of my first nights out in Aberdeen the last remnants of a hen night behind us got a phonecall - their sister had just given birth!

Obviously we let them take the next taxi - whats a couple more minutes with your mates?

I've never been involved with trouble at the ramps - infact almost the opposite, there's been great banter at 5am.

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.. So last night we got started on by someone who couldn't walk. Not as if we could even say Taxi!

It was probably one of the funniest things I've seen in my life :D Anyone else got stories?

Gosh, the madness simply never ends on your kerrazy nights out! Next you'll be telling us you saw someone throwing up in the taxi rank as well o_O

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I don't have any particularly good Taxi rank stories. I was however once approached by a man at a bus stop who posed the question "Have you ever seen a grown man take a shit on Union Street", to which I replied "No".

Unfortunately, he proceeded to make sure that I could never honestly answer that question with a "No" again... sad times.

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I don't have any particularly good Taxi rank stories. I was however once approached by a man at a bus stop who posed the question "Have you ever seen a grown man take a shit on Union Street", to which I replied "No".

Unfortunately, he proceeded to make sure that I could never honestly answer that question with a "No" again... sad times.

Muahahahahaha...

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