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DVD menus = shit


Dayeth

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Actually, I'll get to the menus in a minute, but firstly I'd like to point out that nobody seems to have noticed that there is a stupid amount of time between putting a DVD into a player, then actually watching the film. It's horrendous.

Firstly, I really think having to read copyright information every single time is unnecessary, which speaks volumes for how pointless I think having to read it in 5 different languages is too. Sure, there's probably some law, but having to wait through them is like those Terms and Conditions pages on webpages that make you scroll to the bottom of the rabble before you can Agree to them . Plus, now it seems the done thing to put trailers at the beginning of DVD's too! G'J'FT'WHY? I just paid money the sodding thing, have some fucking manners.

Then the menu. Half a minute of clip montage from the film, or some kind of fancy effects or something before it appears. The occasional to moderately often "how is this option highlighting actually working"...with more clips from the film underneath. Choose what you want, then its another fucking journey through space and time before we get to the film ...well the production company animations. At this point I've lost interest, I've seen half the fucking film already anyway and I've eaten all the food I had to go with it.

Worst offender I've seen may be Red Dwarf Season 4. Everytime you chose something it takes you through all the ship corridors to another room with more options. It drives me fucking insane. 95% of DVD menu's drive me insane. DVD's don't need interfaces, especially ones where the up button makes your marker go left.

I like films that just start, and if you wish to access any features it may have, you just press menu and it comes up with a simplistic text based menu. But bollocks to scene selection, I'll just skip through the chapters in 5 seconds to the bit i was at last night if it's all the same.

Computer games can be just as bad sometimes.

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Actually, I'll get to the menus in a minute, but firstly I'd like to point out that nobody seems to have noticed that there is a stupid amount of time between putting a DVD into a player, then actually watching the film. It's horrendous.

Firstly, I really think having to read copyright information every single time is unnecessary, which speaks volumes for how pointless I think having to read it in 5 different languages is too. Sure, there's probably some law, but having to wait through them is like those Terms and Conditions pages on webpages that make you scroll to the bottom of the rabble before you can Agree to them . Plus, now it seems the done thing to put trailers at the beginning of DVD's too! G'J'FT'WHY? I just paid money the sodding thing, have some fucking manners.

Then the menu. Half a minute of clip montage from the film, or some kind of fancy effects or something before it appears. The occasional to moderately often "how is this option highlighting actually working"...with more clips from the film underneath. Choose what you want, then its another fucking journey through space and time before we get to the film ...well the production company animations. At this point I've lost interest, I've seen half the fucking film already anyway and I've eaten all the food I had to go with it.

Worst offender I've seen may be Red Dwarf Season 4. Everytime you chose something it takes you through all the ship corridors to another room with more options. It drives me fucking insane. 95% of DVD menu's drive me insane. DVD's don't need interfaces, especially ones where the up button makes your marker go left.

I like films that just start, and if you wish to access any features it may have, you just press menu and it comes up with a simplistic text based menu. But bollocks to scene selection, I'll just skip through the chapters in 5 seconds to the bit i was at last night if it's all the same.

Computer games can be just as bad sometimes.

Michty! - tell us you're no' nippy biscuits the date wee man!

We could always go back to the halcyon days of...video!

Whirrrrrrrr...forward....forward.....naw back, back....forward again...aw tae fuck, the tape's chewed up again!

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Guest b-bert

The worst culprit i have found is the spooks box set that makes you look through a desk to find the episodes. (then you realise you were an idiot, it was clearly the pile of cds..)

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Michty! - tell us you're no' nippy biscuits the date wee man!

We could always go back to the halcyon days of...video!

Whirrrrrrrr...forward....forward.....naw back, back....forward again...aw tae fuck, the tape's chewed up again!

Video's WERE better. I don't care about better quality, I'm more interested in not wasting my life away. As the kind of chap that watchs a film over three nights or so, before I go to bed, video's were better.

But it's no wonder people download movies. I'd rather passively wait for an 8 hour download, then get RIGHT into the action. DVD menus are destroying their own means to be, much like the people who operate self service checkouts.

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We could always go back to the halcyon days of...video!

Whirrrrrrrr...forward....forward.....naw back, back....forward again...aw tae fuck, the tape's chewed up again!

ahahahahahahahahahaha.

Videos were way more irritating than a DVD menu, at least you know whats going on with a dvd menu. You press fast forward and rewind so often you and the vcr dont know if its going which way its going! So it always ends with the same thing.

"Poke this. Im going to watch telly."

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Choose what you want, then its another fucking journey through space and time before we get to the film

Haha! This bit made me laugh.

I agree, it's so annoying, there's so much garbage you just do not need to see before the DVD starts. It's even worse when it's one that doesn't play unless you press play 'enter' on the actual remote as opposed to just 'play' on the DVD player, and the control is out of batteries.

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there shouldn't be trailers or copyright theft tirades at the start of a dvd you payed like 20 quid for

True.

...and if you've pirated it, you're not going to give a monkey's fuck anyway.

I will concede one thing about "vidjoe"...I so miss seeing Simon Bates telling me that the rating certificates were there for me to make an "informed choice" about the movie.

*sigh* good old Simes.

Back in my student days, about 20 of us would congregate at my place to eat pizza, drink beer (Bacardi for the girls) and watch "vidjoes".

Just as he was about to come on and do his bit, one of use would shout "3, 2 ,1" and the rest in unison would shout at the top of our voices..."FUCK OFF SIMES!!!!"

Them were the days...you'll need to excuse me I'm filling up here *sniff *

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Actually, I'll get to the menus in a minute, but firstly I'd like to point out that nobody seems to have noticed that there is a stupid amount of time between putting a DVD into a player, then actually watching the film. It's horrendous.

Firstly, I really think having to read copyright information every single time is unnecessary, which speaks volumes for how pointless I think having to read it in 5 different languages is too. Sure, there's probably some law, but having to wait through them is like those Terms and Conditions pages on webpages that make you scroll to the bottom of the rabble before you can Agree to them . Plus, now it seems the done thing to put trailers at the beginning of DVD's too! G'J'FT'WHY? I just paid money the sodding thing, have some fucking manners.

Then the menu. Half a minute of clip montage from the film, or some kind of fancy effects or something before it appears. The occasional to moderately often "how is this option highlighting actually working"...with more clips from the film underneath. Choose what you want, then its another fucking journey through space and time before we get to the film ...well the production company animations. At this point I've lost interest, I've seen half the fucking film already anyway and I've eaten all the food I had to go with it.

Worst offender I've seen may be Red Dwarf Season 4. Everytime you chose something it takes you through all the ship corridors to another room with more options. It drives me fucking insane. 95% of DVD menu's drive me insane. DVD's don't need interfaces, especially ones where the up button makes your marker go left.

I like films that just start, and if you wish to access any features it may have, you just press menu and it comes up with a simplistic text based menu. But bollocks to scene selection, I'll just skip through the chapters in 5 seconds to the bit i was at last night if it's all the same.

Computer games can be just as bad sometimes.

Agreed fully. Although this is what I do to counter-act all that annoying stuff you've just mentioned:

1. Put DVD in DVD player.

2. Clean teeth/do dishes/other 3 - 5 minute mundane task that is unavoidably essential.

3. Check on DVD, it has most likely got to the menu.

4. Press play/fast fwd the annoying animation.

5. Notice it's the wrong DVD (disc 2 "special features" instead of disc 1) in the player. Repeat steps 1 - 4 with disc 1.

6. Enjoy the DVD, content with the fact that those shitty copyright thingies that you can't fast fwd were not watched. Except on Ross Noble DVDs where he has funny words instead of shitty copyright thingies.

Safe.

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Usualkly wqith tedious menus I find you can just skip them if you press something and hope for the best. What bugs me is the menus that play clips from the feature. If you leave it on the menu while pouring a cup of tea or fall asleep or something it just repeats the same sodding clip ad infinitum. Infuriating.

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Lots of players let you skip the pointless menus by pressing the 'top menu' / 'main menu' buttons. The one thing I really fucking hate is the 'You wouldn't steal a purse / car / phone / movie' adverts... It's on almost every box-set (on every disc) and loads of new films, made even more ironic when you're actually watching a copied disc.

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you can just play them in the computer with some software that lets you go straight to the individual video files...

I'd rather watch a film on my nice big TV with sound coming through my hifi rather than on my small screened lap top with the tinniest speakers known to man.

DVD menus are a pain in the arse. The hidden "easter eggs" that are put on them are fairly annoying too. If you have just spent around 20 on a DVD, I think it would be nice to able able to access all of it's content straight away, rather then having to hunt through menus etc...

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Lots of players let you skip the pointless menus by pressing the 'top menu' / 'main menu' buttons. The one thing I really fucking hate is the 'You wouldn't steal a purse / car / phone / movie' adverts... .

Yeah who are they to tell me what I would or wouldn't steal, makes me want to steal a car and drive it down their fucking face.

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Watch shit old films. Usually they have no additional stuff, extra options etc. Just....a film.

agreed. the films that come free with newspapers are usually good for that. The Carry On films that were free with some newspaper (the sun?) a while ago were really good. Some of them just went straight to the film and when they did have a menu it was just a simple menu.

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The DVD's I hate are the type which are on a constant advert loop and you need to press menu to get to the menu, scroll through a million options to play the film. This is all well and good but every time I crack out a dvd my remote controls manage to completely misplace themselves...

What I've taken to is "ripping" every DVD I buy into one that just starts straight up...DVD XCOPY is a good tool for this. It will rip them to standard cheap DVD-R's aswell (as opposed to dual layer) and the quality is good enough.

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